Lion has set forth a challenge for me. He is correct when he says rewards are more difficult than punishment. My ex used to say no one remembers what you do right; they only remember what you d0 wrong. Think about it. How many times does your boss say you’ve done something wrong? How many times does he/she say you did something good? My boss is constantly saying my coworker and I talk too much. Does she realize we’re still working while we talk? Does she realize a lot of that talking is to ourselves? (There’s a study out there that suggest people who talk to themselves are very intelligent. Of course, there are probably many other studies that suggest we’re very strange. Why can’t both be true?) Does she ever tell us we’re doing a great job? Much more rarely than criticizing us.
So I’ve been trying to keep an eye out for good things Lion does. For example, he made breakfast this morning without being asked. He also emptied the dishwasher. Did I thank him for either thing? Nope. I actually meant to for the dishwasher and then promptly forgot. No time like the present. Thank you, my pet. You’re a good boy for making breakfast and emptying the dishwasher. I have also been rubbing his sexy buns more often. I don’t know if that counts as a reward or not, but it does acknowledge that his buns are naked and incredibly touchable. It’s very rewarding for me to have his tush on my hands. I hope it is for him too.
In my defense, I did try to reward Lion with coupons a while back. Unfortunately he didn’t like the rewards. He said the ones for a bonus/free orgasm whenever he wanted it seemed like he’d be in charge. There were other rewards but he’s squirreled the coupons away somewhere and I don’t remember what they’re for. It was my last great attempt at rewards.
Another thing that I find very rewarding is something we do every day. In the first email of every work day, we both write “I love you more than anything!” or some variation of that sentiment. It’s our way of telling each other that we’re happy to be together. More accurately, we’re grateful to be together. What better reward is there than to have someone tell you he doesn’t know what he did before you came along and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you?