Monday night brought both good and bad surprises. On the bad side, our dog experienced a siezure. She had one a few months ago as well. The vet said not to be too concerned unless they happen regularly. After comforting her and cleaning up her poop, we were tired. Later, 2.0 teased me and decided to let me come. It was a nice surprise. For the record, my last orgasm was 10 days earlier. I’m much more comfortable with waiting longer. Enforced chastity is just part of life and my mind and body have grown accustomed to this condition.

A lot of guys when they first discover enforced chastity obsess a little about this exciting new practice. You can read their excited postings on various chastity and BDSM forums. Some go so far as to suggest that all guys need to wear chastity devices since they make men so much better. They think that every woman will want her man to wear one.  I can certainly understand their enthusiasm, but there is a fundamental flaw in this thinking.

Some think that the Big Idea in enforced male chastity is that by caging the man’s ability to have sex, his interest in pleasing his partner will grow. This might be true, but it is hardly a reason that a woman would want to cage her partner. Think about it from her side. That claim suggests that the only reason a man will want to please his partner is that his penis is locked up and unavailable. “Oh well, I can’t get off I might as well make the missus come.”

How appealing! That has to be every woman’s dream. Sheesh! It sounds a little like a kid who wants a wagon for Christmas. “But Mom, if you give me a wagon you can use it to carry groceries too.” In advertising it is an imagined benefit: I want this and you should too, because…” That sort of reasoning, particularly in the context of enforced chastity, is simply not productive. The best, perhaps only reason, a woman would agree to be an active keyholder is that she believes he wants her to lock him up and if she agrees, it will make him happy.

That is the only reason that Mrs. Lion agreed to lock me up. It’s a pretty powerful reason at that. Let’s face it, the only real beneficiary to a locked cock is the guy wearing the chastity device; at least in the beginning.

In our case, over time it turned out that enforced chastity brought important value to our relationship; so important that Mrs. Lion will not agree to ending it. That benefit has nothing to do with increasing my sexual attention to her, or to me developing a sudden need to do housework. For the record, neither happened to me.

The actual benefit turned out to be improved communication that brought with it more intimacy and less stress In our case, enforced chastity caused us to agree on sexual control. I surrendered it and Mrs. Lion agreed to take it. There were no more hard feelings about my failure to initiate. She felt no guilt about failing to be sexual with me and no anger that I failed to initiate. The logistics of enforced chastity and the need to provide the occasional orgasm, forced us to communicate about sexual things on a daily basis. That in turn resulted in increased snuggling, endearing words, hugs, kisses, and general touching. We’ve been much happier.

I think that in the beginning, it makes the most sense to restrict conversation and expectations to the fact that he wants to surrender sexual control and that she agrees to take it on because it will make him happy. If you both keep it up, over time other benefits will emerge on their own. They may not be anything like what happened with us, but they will emerge. Enforced male chastity is a long term investment. The biggest mistake guys make is to look for short term results.