As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday, I ate too much of a very good dinner Sunday night and was more interested in snuggling than sex. Mrs. Lion was great about that and after some CBT with clothespins, we cuddled together. By the way, if you’ve wondered why my posts always seem a day out of date, it’s because I don’t get up obscenely early to write my daily post. I write it the day before. That means, today’s post for example, is being written Monday afternoon. I have no idea what will happen tonight (last night when you read this). Mrs. Lion generally writes her post the same day it is published. So she delivers the most up-t0-date news.
I’ve been thinking about communications between Mrs. Lion and I. I wonder how much influence I have over what she does. I know she listens to what I say and write and she often does what I suggest. Though since she has become lioness 2.0, she generally puts her own spin on acting on my suggestions. I still worry that I have more control than I should. We both know I am not submissive by nature and I have spent most of my life in the dominant role. I still write about dominance on the Dominant Guide. I don’t find any conflict with that, nor does Mrs. Lion.
Knowing my nature is far from submissive, it worries me that I am having too much influence at home. Neither of ever imagined that we would have a lioness dictatorship. We make most decisions jointly, though she is the tie breaker if we disagree. The worry comes in about play. I’ve been a D/S educator for many years and I love to share what I know. Most of the teaching I have done with Mrs. Lion was years ago. So since I’ve surrendered to her my effort to teach her has been minimal. I have introduced some new ideas and she has adopted a few. The shock collar and TENS units were my ideas. Her use of the shock collar for “instant messages” was purely her own.
In my power exchange fantasies, control is taken from me and I don’t get to provide any input. In real life that would never work for me. But I don’t want to control things either. The Journal and our emails have been very helpful. However, Mrs. Lion sometimes forgets I am just making suggestions and not expressing expectations that will upset me if they aren’t met. Lioness 2.0 gets this and has a much better attitude in my opinion.
So much that I read online prescribes what we should do in a female controlled marriage and in enforced chastity. Some guys want to develop their submissive side and put their own spin on how they believe men in FLR’s should act and even think. I disagree with a lot of what I read. My basis is that I was a 24/7 master to a female slave who was extremely submissive and actively worked to serve with her entire heart and soul. She might be the role model for many submissive-aspiring guys. From my perspective as her master, it was a very difficult way to live. I think most of us need collaboration way more than we need control.
Control, particularly sexual control, is the icing on the cake. The substance of a relationship is all the mundane stuff that supports our daily lives. Being put into the position of decision maker for everything was pure pressure for me. As a dominant, I wanted to make the decisions I chose to make. The rest could be joint or hers. Now that I am on the other end of the paddle, I work hard to maintain my partnership with Mrs. Lion. I will surrender any control she wishes to have. That’s what FLR means to me, at least. But otherwise I will continue to pay most of the bills, decide issues we agree I should, and share decisions on the rest with her. When it comes to sex and play, she is the sole authority and I exist totally at her pleasure.
I hear a lot about topping from the bottom. In our world, that’s a punishable offense. The same way I try to avoid eating first or dropping food, I try to avoid topping from the bottom. If I do, my lioness could catch it and send a strong message back to me that I better stop. If she doesn’t catch it, I hope I do and stop before she stops me. My point is that topping from the bottom won’t send you straight to hell. It also won’t destroy your power exchange; at least not at first. It’s just a bad habit that needs correction and self control. It’s like eating ice cream once in a while when you are on a diet. If you don’t do it too often, you’ll still lose weight. If you make it a habit, things could go badly. ‘Nuff said.