Every so often I run across a post that suggests that men who want enforced chastity want to have fewer orgasms. Generally, this assertion is followed by some pseudo-physiology that claims after orgasm hormones are released that make the male dislike exactly those things that turn him on. There is a kernel of truth in that statement, but not at all what is claimed. After a male has an orgasm, there is a refractory period during which he is difficult to arouse and will not be able to ejaculate. This period ranges from as little as ten minutes for young men to a day or two for men in their 60’s or 70’s. The actual refractory period varies widely in individuals. However, even during this period men are still interested in sex and in the things that attract them.

Enforced chastity is not really about sex or the lack of it; it’s about control. The reason most of us want to be caged is that we want the ability to decide when we can get hard and orgasm taken away from us. Naturally, the only way to exercise this control is for our keyholders to withhold arousal and orgasm longer than we would like. It’s that simple and that complicated. What often happens is that the male associates delayed orgasm with submission. So, the longer he waits the more controlled he feels. If he believes this, then he will actively want his keyholder to make him wait longer and longer. Some guys reach the point where they want orgasm permanently withheld since this proves total sexual submission.

None of the above really suggests that caged males want fewer orgasm. What it means is that a lot of males in enforced chastity have been conditioned (by their own minds usually) to believe that the less frequently they get to orgasm, the stronger the control they feel. I think this has a very primal root. There is some evidence that men equate sex and power. That can explain why a lot of guys feel stronger and more powerful after they come. It’s success. They have done what nature intended. I think it is part of the biological programming we have to assure continuance of the species.

Speaking strictly for myself, I like to come. For most of my life I enjoyed a daily orgasm. In recent years with Mrs. Lion’s diminishing interest in sex, I masturbated two or three times a week. I also think my biological clock slowed down too. When we first started enforced chastity I was climbing the walls after waiting five days. Mrs. Lion teased me (and continues to tease me) at least every other day. The edging and teasing made it impossible for me to forget that I wanted to come. So, by the fifth day I was massively horny. Over the months, I was conditioned not to expect an orgasm very frequently. Now when I reach the fifth day I am not nearly as horny as I was a year ago. I’ve learned to lower my expectation of orgasm, which in turn reduces my interest in sex. I think this shows that while hormones are important, my mind is by far the biggest factor in my desire to come.

I’m not convinced that this is a desirable result. The only way to assure that I hit the “climb the walls” level of interest is to extend my wait and my edging. Eventually, if she makes me wait long enough, I will be climbing the walls again. Maybe now it will take two weeks to reach that point. Part of me thinks it’s a good idea to make we wait longer. That’s the same impulse that I talked about at the beginning of the post. There’s no question I can be “trained” to want less frequent release. But should I be?

An “agreeable” keyholder will find it sensible and easy to just extend waits if that is her partner’s wish. The idea of extending waits may also feed into the keyholder’s feeling of power and control. I think there are other ways to satisfy both partners without endless extending the time between male orgasms. The first is to vary wait time widely. Perhaps make the usual wait time between one and two weeks. However, some of the time (perhaps 15 or 20 percent), shorten the wait to less than a week and occasionally to three weeks or more. If the male is conditioned to expect an orgasm every week or two, a shorter or longer wait will “surprise” him and prevent conditioning his sex drive to a specific minimum wait. Frequent orgasms are a valid expression of keyholder power. Bear in mind he wants to wait longer, but you aren’t letting him. You are in control. An occasional long wait with a lot of teasing is an unmistakable reminder of who is in charge.