Cracking the Code

Last night was maintenance spanking night. Lion reminded me after he read my post yesterday. That’s the risk in mentioning it in my post. Not that he wouldn’t have remembered on his own, and maybe he did, but my post was definitely a reminder too. If I don’t do his swats a little while after dinner I tend to forget about them. I like to do them before we start any activities because I don’t want the punishment or maintenance to be associated with the festivities. Last night I remembered around 10 pm. Then they were close to our play. And, as it turns out, Lion wasn’t up for play anyway.

Earlier in the day, the Lion weather report was horny. Somewhere between then and 10 pm, clouds rolled in. When he wasn’t getting excited he apologized. He doesn’t need to apologize. The festivities are mostly for him. I don’t have a lot invested. If I was horny myself or had gotten all dressed up in leather and lace to play with him, then there would be something to apologize for. But for now it’s mostly for his entertainment and a certain amount of amusement for me. After I stopped trying to play with him he said he didn’t know what happened. He’d been horny earlier in the day. Maybe it had just gotten too late. It’s possible that, as the clock ticked toward 10 pm he started to give up or realize that we were slipping back into the 10 o’clock it must be playtime pattern. As he brushed his teeth he decided what we were missing was snuggle time. He’d feel better, we’d both feel better, if we just snuggle more often.

As I was thinking about it this morning I realize I feel like I’ve been in a holding pattern for a while. I’m waiting for Lion to get a job. I’m waiting to see if we can afford to go camping. I’m waiting to pack things into the camper. I’m waiting for payday. I’ve been letting that holding pattern affect our play. What am I waiting for? I guess the magic number of ten o’clock. That’s the time the alarm goes off in my brain for us to play. If I can break that cycle again I may have cracked the code of Lion not being receptive to play. I need to catch him shortly after his Jeopardy nap when he’s refreshed. (His Jeopardy nap is when he’ll be quietly snoring and say the answers in his sleep, and they’re usually correct.) As long as I vary the time we play and rarely do it at 10 o’clock we should have fewer issues. I’ll just need to be more cognizant of the time.


  1. Author

    One thing that you might do, if possible at the time, is take his telling you of how horny he is as a cue to stop things there and then and unlock him for some fun, when he is at the height of horniness. Not every time of course, but occasionally it’d be a great way to change things up. Then that night you rest and cuddle instead of play again.

    Sometimes my horniness is high during the middle of the day, but by nightfall it’s nowhere to be seen. Just an idea that I’m sure Lion will love.

  2. Author

    We find that having a routine is one of the worst things for us. We had the Friday/Saturday routine when the kids were home because it was the only time we had. Things got very boring. When our youngest was in high school, Snake started coming home for lunch one day a week. It was an opportunity to do something different and it helped for a while. Until it became routine too.

    We’ve learned that, for us, it doesn’t have to be three hours to enjoy each other. Yes, we have those times, but sometimes it can be 15 minutes. Just using little slices of time to tease keeps things exciting and different.

    The waiting mentality is so hard to break. Almost exactly a year ago, our youngest was moving out and we were ready to experience empty nest. The week before she moved out, our son and daughter-in-law found out that the plans for their move had fallen through and they had nowhere to live. They moved in with us, supposedly for a few days to regroup, along with a puppy and cat.

    It took three months for their lives to sort themselves back out and for them to make their move. Neither was working, the puppy was getting enormous, and, yes, she had found out she was pregnant about two weeks before they moved in. I am a serious introvert and I couldn’t get any space. Things were nuts and our sex life suffered a lot. It took a couple of months after they were gone before things were back to normal.

    I would love to tell you that we made a mistake putting things on hold and that waiting for the right time is silly, but there are just times when life hits and you just need to recover a little. I can tell you that things did get back on track and are better than ever.

    The only thing I can offer is to just push through. A little teasing in the kitchen in the morning. A little extra snuggling at night. Sending him sexy texts. We decided that we have to make time for us and by doing so, both of us were more interested and are having more fun. We’ve found that the more we do, the more we want to do… a great cycle. 🙂

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