I’m a house lion right now. I’m between jobs. Naturally, that’s pretty stressful. It’s something I have handled before and I am sure that somewhere out there I will find something gainful to do. In the meantime I will begin some serious writing. I’ve had the makings of a novel swirling around in my head for a while. This is a good chance to see if I can take it anywhere.
Mrs. Lion has been terrific about enforced chastity. She has been doing some serious thinking about how she wants to proceed. Her post yesterday talked about her thoughts on rewards and punishments. Until very recently, neither has been part of our lives. I think the reason for this isn’t simple, but understandable. As I wrote yesterday in my post, a lot of Mrs. Lion’s difficulty with a more authoritarian role is that she has a lifetime of self training to expect little or nothing. So, she is extremely unlikely to handle setting and enforcing rules and orders for me. It just doesn’t fit her model. Her new context, rewarding and punishing me because it is something I want, seems to resonate better.
That brings me to the main point I want to make: enforced chastity isn’t a lifestyle. It is a power exchange activity that really applies to my ability to use my penis for more than peeing. It’s that simple. I regularly hear from readers that they just couldn’t do what we do because they don’t have the time to dedicate to this sexual practice. How much time does it really take? No one has ever asked me that question. Let me answer my own question.
Actual activities relating to enforced chastity take very little time from our days. In my case, I suppose it takes a bit longer to pee, but not more than a minute. Mrs. Lion devotes about thirty minutes every other day to teasing me. Those physical activities are no more than other couples spend doing sexual things. We are affectionate as usual, hold hands, talk, laugh, etc. That has nothing to do with enforced chastity.
So, time is never a barrier to enforced chastity. Drop that excuse right away! I think we both spend extra time thinking about my chastity and surrounding control issues. I think we both enjoy having those thoughts and in reality, they don’t really take time away from other thoughts we might have instead.
The bottom line is that the vast majority of enforced chastity activities take place in our heads, far above our waists. I think about Mrs. Lion all the time and it is usually not in the context of our chastity activities. I just love her and want to make her happy.
Even the kinks are mostly above the waist too. We have both been writing about my interest in discipline. My thoughts have been around ways Mrs. Lion could show her control and authority. Being the sort of lion I am, those thoughts gravitate toward sore bottoms, etc. Mrs. Lion reminded me that I could be rewarded for being a good lion too. I am really enjoying her rewards. I like working for them. My lion brain is finally understanding that authority is as equally expressed by reward as it is by punishment. I astound myself that I never considered that before. A reward could even be a spanking. I know that because I asked for that as part of my last reward. Cool, huh?
One other revelation I had yesterday is that there is a very subtle interaction that has blocked the authority scenario. I’ll give you the example that turned the lights on for me. Mrs. Lion asked me to pick up a prescription for her when I went to town. I did got to town, even to the market where the pharmacy is located. I shopped for dinner and completely forgot to get her medicine. After I got home, Mrs. Lion sent me an email asking me if I got her medicine. I wrote back that I completely forgot. She replied that it was ok, we could get it tomorrow.
See what’s going on? In a vanilla relationship where all is equal, I would be immediately forgiven my forgetfulness. But in a relationship where rewards and punishments are meted out by my keyholder, forgetting something should require a punishment. After all, I get extra play sessions for cooking and doing other things that deserve rewards, why shouldn’t I also earn punishments too.
I think that what’s happening now is good for both of us. Just as enforced chastity has awakened sex and intimacy, authority may help Mrs. Lion begin to feel more entitled and make me more attentive. Note to those who think all this is a time robber: we are not spending much time at all with both the power exchange or the enforced chastity. All this stuff is going in way above our waists in our heads.
I was going to end there, but I have to comment a bit on the “FLM” (Female Led Marriage) folks. FLM or FLR (Female Led Relationship) are both little subcultures that essentially practice what Mrs. Lion and I are testing out. In the FLM world, authority is very strong and well defined. I have nothing against that, but it isn’t us. As I see it, we are testing a power exchange that gives Mrs. Lion concrete ways to affect me sexually, and in other areas where she wishes. I am not being a lifestyle submissive. I just accept that she has considerable power that I feel sexually and sometimes painfully.
This is all very new. I suspect it won’t be easy for either of us. I can also hear Mrs. Lion in my head saying,
“You need to be careful with what you ask for. This is going to hurt you much more than it will hurt me.”
Oh yeah. Not just a sore bottom either. The lion is losing some of his autonomy too. It’s a little scary for me. I need some extra hugs, Mrs. Lion.