Last night Lion asked if he was well enough to be locked up again. I should have told him no just because he asked, but he did meet my criteria of working a full day and staying awake after dinner. I figured not locking him up would be a sort of punishment. I made him wait till just before we went to sleep. Now he is safely ensconced in his cage.
Then he asked something that he always asks and I usually give him the same response. Do I realize he belongs to me? I do. And he got very excited about it. But the way I see it, and have always seen it, we belong to each other. I know he means it more from a sexual, power, etc. point of view. He says he hopes someday I’ll see this as more than just a game. I’m trying. Sometimes I can slip into the role better than others. But I still don’t see myself owning him the way he wants me to.
He worries if I don’t believe it’s more than a game I will eventually get tired of things. I worry he will get tired of my not being able to see it as more than a game. So here we are, locked in a battle of the wits. Or nitwits, as the case may be. Each trying to do something the other wants without really being able to succeed and somehow it’s ok. Because what matters is that the foundation is stable. The roof may leak. The walls may need a new coat of paint. But the foundation is solid. Underneath it all we belong to each other and that’s all that really matters.