I’ve always known I was different. I would say I’m more of a submissive person although I don’t like being told what to do. See? Weird. I take pleasure in the suffering of certain people. See? Twisted. But not in the suffering of my Lion. If only I was weird and twisted the same way my Lion is weird and twisted we wouldn’t have any problems.
When Lion first explained to me that he wanted to be submissive I told him I didn’t know if I could do it. The first time I spanked him must have felt like a fly landing on him. Eventually I got better at it. A few times I even left bruises. We’ve tried lots of different things over the years. None of them turn me on. I may have been horny many times but it wasn’t the act itself that turned me on. It’s just something I do for him.
I gave him new restraints for Valentine’s day so it’s not that I’m against the whole idea. And I can’t tell you how many times I tell myself tonight will be the night it changes. Just the other night I thought about teasing him and at some point jumping on top and telling him it was my turn and he better not come until I gave him permission. But then as I was teasing him I wasn’t turned on and I just wound up teasing him till he had an orgasm.