Over the last decade, a lot has changed in the world of male chastity. All of the change has been around hardware. We are less concerned about security; Most of us realize that we are wearing male chastity devices because we requested it. There is no sense in trying to escape. This attitude shift makes comfort the most important requirement.

New devices are very comfortable to wear. They are also much shorter. As I learned years ago, keeping the head of my penis in firm contact with the front of my male chastity device makes peeing easier and neater. My flaccid penis varies in length over a day. If I wear a device that keeps the head in firm contact when I am at my shortest, everything works very well. If I wear a base ring (mine is the most common diameter 45mm/1-3/4 inch) that leaves enough room for a finger between the ring and the skin on the top of my penis, I don’t get irritation, and the device stays in place.

The one thing that hasn’t changed is the underlying fantasies about male chastity. They focus on the male chastity device forcing the man to submit in various ways in order to earn an orgasm. Women are usually unhappy with this scenario. I’ve written about this in the past. There is a new scenario that is likely to be much more acceptable.

Available when wanted

Instead of creating a story about trading sex for the keyholder for a chance to get unlocked, try this scenario. By locking your penis, your keyholder is free to enjoy your company–dressed or naked–without worrying about you expecting sex. In other words, she unlocks your penis when she wants it. This is very different from the traditional approach.

She doesn’t have to worry about how long you’ve been locked up or when you ejaculated last. When she wants sexual access to your penis, she unlocks it. Your cock is her toy, nothing more. You may be focused on how long you’ve gone without an orgasm. It isn’t her problem.

This is a much stronger surrender than the traditional approach. It is also a real incentive for you to look for ways to convince her that she might want to play with her toy. Annoying her with clumsy attempts to turn her on will almost certainly stop her from unlocking you. You have to be the man she wants to play with. It isn’t about your fantasies at all.

How does that sound? I’ll bet she’ll like the idea. She may want to unlock you every night for some sexual fun–for her. Or, she may be tired and just wants your penis-free company. Like any sex toy, she takes your penis out when she wants to use it. Easy to understand and fun for her. Ready to ask her?

We are supposed to get cooler weather starting today. I hope so. Our indoor farm has produced a lot of green tomatoes and a few that are getting ripe. It’s silly to get excited about a few cherry tomatoes, but we are.

Saturday night, Mrs. Lion didn’t need to get out the massage table. She didn’t need it. She had me lie across the bed for a full-orgasm blow job. Wow. She reported that I produced some semen. That’s two in a row. She asked if she was better than the blowjob machine I just reviewed (“Review: Amovibe Vibrating Blowjob Machine“). Silly lioness.

We are staying in today. I won’t be waxed. It’s too hot in the pantry where our waxing equipment is set up. It isn’t that urgent. My hair isn’t long enough to make Mrs. Lion sneeze. She said that she was going to take off all my hair this time. All that will be left is above my neck and my arms. My legs are getting too hairy.

I can’t remember what I look like with pubic hair. The last time I had any was almost thirty years ago. After the first time my then-girlfriend shaved me, she said that I would forget what I looked like with hair down there. She was right. It’s too late to find out. The laser hair removal I had over 20 years ago worked. Just a small patch at the base of my penis grows back. I also get a few hairs on my balls. That was the total extent of the laser treatments. They were expensive and painful, but they worked.

It’s an obvious advantage to be hairless when wearing a male chastity device. Pubic hair gets caught in it and is pulled painfully. A lot of guys learn this early on and shave. I always laughed when I heard guys say that shaved pubes are feminine. Nope. Hair or no hair, my gender is absolutely obvious.

Many consider wearing a male chastity device a game. Well, it certainly is a form of keep-away. It can be big, frustrating fun. Others see it as a way to force sexual submission. That may be exciting, but from what I’ve experienced and seen, it is still a game. The least considered purpose of a device that locks the penis is masturbation training.

Most men, me included, never considered masturbation as real sex. It was a way to relieve frustration. I did it when I felt the need. It never occurred to me that Mrs. Lion cared. As long as I was available to her when she wanted me, what difference did it make? It turned out that until the day I asked her to lock me in a male chastity device, she had no idea that I jerked off. When I told her, she was unhappy.

In her mind, masturbating was a form of cheating. I was having sex behind her back. Other women I lived with had no problem with me jerking off. In fact, when they were too tired to get me off, they would “help me” while I did it. Their help consisted of tickling my balls. I liked it. So, when Mrs. Lion told me that it bothered her that I masturbated, I was very surprised.

When we discussed her new role as my disciplinary wife, her first rule was no masturbating. She knew that enforcement was impossible unless I was wearing a male chastity device. I thought that being made to wear one 24/7 was hot. She knew that I couldn’t jerk off if I had one on. She unlocked me and got me off when she thought it was time.

Over three years of wearing the device full time, I was conditioned not to masturbate. Even when the device was off, I didn’t try. I’m in my ninth year of this. I don’t wear a device full time. I also don’t masturbate. Mrs. Lion has produced every orgasm I’ve had since January 2014. She won’t even let me do it while she watches. She is the only source of orgasms for me.

For the record, I don’t miss masturbating at all. It isn’t a struggle to avoid doing it. Even writing about it doesn’t tempt me. I still get grumpy if I’m very horny, but I don’t even think about rubbing one out. I’m glad that Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to worry that I’m doing something behind her back.

Mrs. Lion set up the new massage table on Sunday evening. I climbed on board, and she jerked me off using lube. It took a while, but she got me there. It was my 18th day of waiting. The orgasm was odd. I felt it coming and got most of the usual muscle contractions. But there wasn’t a grand finale. It felt good and then stopped. I wondered if I ejaculated. Mrs. Lion reported that I did. This is the first time in months. Go figure.

I’ve had less-than-spectacular orgasms before. They usually occur after a long wait. Maybe my body needs to get back into shape. More frequent orgasms might keep my sexual responses tuned. Could this be why males almost universally masturbate? It can’t be a coincidence that these strange orgasms happen when I haven’t ejaculated in some time. From my experience, edging seems just as good for sexual conditioning as full orgasms. Well, maybe not quite as good, but good enough.

Male chastity has taught me some interesting lessons about my sexuality. I never particularly liked jerking off, but felt driven to do it if sex with a partner didn’t seem in the offing. I didn’t think much about it. When Mrs. Lion trained me not to masturbate, it was like breaking a habit that wasn’t too important for me. Sure, I wanted to jerk off. But I didn’t feel that I was missing something important when I couldn’t.

I wonder if my desire to masturbate has less to do with sex than maintaining the sexual equipment. Could that be why it is such a male obsession? Male chastity is mostly about masturbation prevention. There’s an element of teasing and delayed partner sex. Mostly it’s about preventing the male from getting himself off. Increasing the time between orgasms is a way to challenge his instinct to jerk off. As most of us learned early on, the desire for sex drops off after a while if masturbation or partner sex is withheld.

Since I’ve been trained not to masturbate, making me wait doesn’t increase my desire to masturbate. I don’t think about it. I’m not even sure I could get myself off. It increases my desire for Mrs. Lion to get me off, but only to a point. After a week or two, I’m not that motivated. Sure, I love it when she gets me aroused and either edges me or gets me off. If she doesn’t, it’s not a big deal. Is this change the result of not keeping the equipment in tune?

I don’t think anyone has studied the changes a man makes if he can’t masturbate. There have been studies of men who lost the ability to have sex. I don’t know of any that caused healthy, sexually-active males to lose the ability to get off at will. Even so-called celibate males, like priests, enjoy masturbation (at least, I think they do). I don’t think I’m damaged by male chastity. Maybe the changes are temporary and can be reversed. I doubt I’ll find out. I didn’t expect this. I thought that masturbation was just a way of relieving sexual pressure. Maybe it has a more basic value.

Hot weather is finally hitting us in the Pacific Northwest. Like in England, most people here don’t have air conditioning. On hot days the nighttime temperatures drop into the sixties, so sleeping is comfortable. June of 2021 was exceptional. We had over a week of ninety-degree-plus temperatures. It cooled off at night, but we weren’t prepared for the heat. I don’t think we are better prepared this year.

Mrs. Lion and I have three portable air conditioners. They have enough cooling power to keep the house comfortable on most hot days. Unless it goes over 100o, we should stay cool. I’m not sure about our power grid. About three-quarters of our power is hydroelectric. There are dams on the Columbia and Snake rivers, as well as some smaller tributaries. Chances are that we will be fine. That’s one advantage of few people having air conditioners.

Over the years, we have gotten many requests for information about male chastity. Here are the three most common ones we get.

will my penis get smaller?

This is one of the most frequently asked questions about wearing a male chastity device. Since the device prevents erections, some men fear that their penises will shrink. This isn’t true. Erection prevention is frustrating but not at all harmful. The theory is that if it isn’t allowed to inflate the penis, it will lose flexibility and not grow as much. Aging will make your penis shrink a little, but not wearing a chastity device.

is orgasm control habit-forming?

Yes! I wore a male chastity device 24/7 for over three years. I was only unlocked when Mrs. Lion wanted to tease me or give me an orgasm. Otherwise, my penis was inaccessible to me. Once I was allowed to run wild (no cage), I lost my desire to masturbate. It just never occurred to me that I could jerk off. I haven’t gotten myself off since 2013–not once. I have learned to patiently wait for Mrs. Lion to give me release. I think she would be very surprised if I demanded an orgasm or tried to jerk off. It’s just the way things are. I don’t think that we could decide to stop. If we did, I probably wouldn’t get to have an orgasm until we decided to start again. I don’t control what sex I get. Mrs. Lion is in charge of that.

How can I try male chastity if I can’t get a device that fits?

This is a complex subject. We have several articles about fitting male chastity devices (see the menu at the top of our web page). The simple fact is that all penises are not alike. They vary in flaccid length, thickness, relationship to the scrotum, etc. You are very lucky if you can find an off-the-shelf male chastity device that is comfortable to wear. You can probably get a device that you can handle for a weekend for less than $50. Longer-term wear requires custom fitting.

First, forget about security. A male chastity device is not a prison that you can attempt to escape. It’s an educational aid to help a man learn to stop masturbating and allow his partner to control his sexual activities. It isn’t meant to challenge you to get your dick out. It’s there to help. Since men are the ones asking to be locked up, it makes no sense to try to escape. The important thing is to find a device that fits. You can do that, but it won’t be cheap. The typical custom device costs about $400. Once you decide that you want to be kept chaste, it’s worth the investment. We have several articles to help you.

There are lots of questions that people ask about chastity device fitting. If you read the various forums, I guarantee you will get more confused. The best thing to do is keep it simple. Try to buy a device that matches your measurements. Don’t worry, they will be wrong the first time. Fitting a device takes time and patience.