When we started our sexual adventures, it was hard to imagine that I would actually be willing to stay locked in a male chastity device for more than a day or two. Mrs. Lion figured I would want out in a few days. That first male chastity device was uncomfortable but bearable. I can’t explain why I didn’t ask Mrs. Lion to stop locking me up. I obviously found it exciting in a nice, kinky way. Over time, wearing a male chastity device became part of me. It only came off for teasing or orgasms and medical procedures.

Looking back, I can see how far we have come. At this point, sex for me is totally controlled by Mrs. Lion. It isn’t something we even think about. I wait until she decides to let me come. More recently, I’ve had trouble getting to the edge, much less ejaculating. Now, the rules changed a bit. I not only have to wait until my lioness wants me to come, if I don’t ejaculate when she wants, I also get punished. So far, I have performed for her. If she makes it more challenging, I’ll either learn or get spanked.

This is a variation on the old “come on command” fantasy. In it, the man is trained to ejaculate when ordered with little or no stimulation. That never worked for us or anyone else we know. This variation is absolutely doable. Mrs. Lion will tell me that I am to have an orgasm tonight. Then she will stimulate me. If I come in a reasonable time, before she tires, then all is well. If I don’t, out comes the paddle for a disciplinary spanking. The reverse is true too. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t tell me I can ejaculate, and I do anyway, I get another visit from the business end of Mrs. Lion’s paddle. It’s like everything else in my life. If I do as I am told, all is well.

The other big change over time is punishment. It’s gone from slightly stinging spankings to almost DWC punishments. Mrs. Lion has steadily increased the severity and length of my spankings. I’m sure that only a couple of years ago, Mrs. Lion wouldn’t recognize the change in her disciplinary style. I applaud her efforts. It seems that the more severely she punishes me, the loving feelings I get for her care and devotion to me. The old DWC saying, “The longer and harder you spank, the more he will love you for it.”

Two years ago, I thought that saying was rubbish; spanking fantasy talk. I was wrong. Damned if it isn’t true for me. I’m not saying that I want more. It’s just that as Mrs. Lion makes the spankings harder and longer, I end up appreciating her more. These two kinks we adopted have made changes in me. I can’t imagine my life being any different.

I wonder if you think about who I am. A blog originally was supposed to be a sort of online diary. Its value kept growing when people discovered it was a good way to provide updated information on a wide variety of subjects. I think its most interesting use is allowing regular people the ability to express themselves publicly. You might consider this an ego exercise. You’re probably right. After all, why should I believe anyone cares about my life?

It turns out that a lot of people care about my sex life. It’s unusual enough to be interesting to sex tourists and at the same time useful to others who share my particular kinks. In almost 5000 posts, Mrs. Lion and I have focused on our unusual sexual practices, and here and there, some information about who we are as people has leaked out. I wonder if these leaks are considered annoyances to our readers.

Sometimes I wonder exactly why I write this blog. Sure, we have many regular readers and lots of people who end up here by searching for information about male chastity, female-led relationships, and spanking. I read a lot of blogs. Mrs. Lion doesn’t read any. A good deal of the blogs I read are similar to ours. They recount the adventures of the authors. A few embellished the details to make the reading spicier. Bloggers tend to be the most faithful readers of our blog. It’s a kind of silent network. You don’t have to be a blogger to join the network. All you have to do is regularly read blogs that interest you.

Probably the most interesting thing about long-term blog reading is watching the evolution of the writers. Many of us started out writing about our subject of interest at the beginning of our adventure with it. That’s what we did. As we evolved and took wrong turns, made course corrections and super blunders, our readers got to watch.

In the beginning, I tended to pontificate about male chastity. I thought I was the bee’s knees. Most of the time, the advice wasn’t bad, but the test of time has proven that I didn’t get it all right. It’s a little embarrassing to read back to my 2014 posts. I was so definite then. I knew exactly how things would turn out. Boy, was I wrong. Take male chastity, for example; I thought it was centered around wearing a chastity device and nearly constant frustration. I actually imagined it was a lifestyle. I figured that orgasm control would somehow define a female-powered relationship. I figured sex was that important.

Sex is only important when you are so horny it’s all you can think about. When you are satisfied, other things come into focus. I had no idea how powerful the training aspect of male chastity turned out to be. Before we started, I masturbated two or three times a week. I won’t go through the details of our sex life at that time. Let me say that Mrs. Lion and I weren’t having much sex. Masturbation was pretty much my only release. We had never talked about this subject. When I first asked her to lock me up, the topic came up. I don’t remember why we started discussing it. She was shocked to learn that I jerked off.

Suddenly, male chastity took on a new feature: I was never to masturbate again. Mrs. Lion made it clear that she wasn’t talking about times when locked into a chastity device. She meant all the time, hardware or no hardware. Like most guys, I really enjoyed the occasional wank. I was taken aback by Mrs. Lion’s pronouncement. It was moot at the time since she was keeping me locked in a male chastity device 24/7. I couldn’t jerk off if I wanted to. For the first three years, this was the case. Things changed a little when I needed shoulder surgery. The device came off. While I was healing, I was in no mood for sex of any kind. When I finally wanted to ejaculate again, the idea of doing it myself never occurred to me. To this day, I don’t masturbate.

If you are a female reader, you may not fully understand how profound this change is. Very few men don’t jerk off. Even guys in male chastity devices will frequently rub one out when they get a chance. Many keyholders don’t care and instruct their partners to jerk off when released from their devices. Anyway, the fact that I don’t masturbate is not a big deal anymore. It’s just a fact of my life. Only when I think about it, do I realize how powerful that change really is.

Despite this, I also understand that male chastity is a game. It’s a game many men enjoy. I’m not sure women understand why, but some, like Mrs. Lion, are willing to play anyway. There’s something about the way men are wired that makes turning over orgasm control really hot. I’ve known some women that like that too. Most just get annoyed at the thought. A lot of guys get annoyed that male chastity is a game. Even more, get annoyed when I refer to domestic discipline the same way.

Virtually all domestic discipline and male chastity are introduced into the relationship by the man. I have not heard of a single case where a woman decided to spank her husband for breaking a rule. In fact, I’m not sure any women imposed rules before being asked by their husbands to do it. It’s taken me years to realize that Mrs. Lion will never consider domestic discipline as a key element of our marriage. It’s a game she plays because I want it.

Don’t get me wrong. It still has value. I get turned on by the idea of having to obey Mrs. Lion and get punished for failing. The rules she has set out aren’t emotionally important to her but allow her to change my behavior and punish me when needed. For example, one of my rules is to wait until she begins eating before I start. This is just good manners, but I would begin eating as soon as I got the food. She got very good at observing my behavior and catching me. I got quite a few spankings for breaking that rule. I rarely eat before her now.

It turns out that she likes catching me. She doesn’t particularly like to spank me, but it doesn’t bother her to do it. I’ve asked her to enforce more personal rules, like not interrupting her. She’s found this very difficult. I understand she plans to work on this. I know that other couples deal with larger problems with domestic discipline. From what I can glean, it isn’t very successful. It seems to me that it’s still a game.

Maybe one reason we’ve been able to keep this up for over seven years is that we don’t imagine that sexual control or domestic discipline are significant parts of our marriage. They are just things we do. Don’t get me wrong that doesn’t mean my spankings are just symbolic or the rules made are silly. My punishments are real and painful. Mrs. Lion approaches them the same way she approaches playing any game: she does her best to perfect her technique.

From my perspective, our evolution has moved in almost opposite directions over the years. We’ve come to realize that what we are doing is playing games. At the same time, the games have become much more realistic. It’s no joke when Mrs. Lion punishes me. She’s completely serious about it. My rules are enforced. I get to have an orgasm only when Mrs. Lion decides I should. In other words, our games are continuous, and I can’t call a timeout.

You could argue that maybe it’s really not a game anymore if that’s the way we play. It is. Mrs. Lion gets to decide how seriously she wants to play. I can ask her to be more strict. She doesn’t have to. Anyway, compare this with what I wrote in 2014. My approach is very different, even if the practice is still the same.

We have a treadmill. For the first time in over a year, I can walk more than a few feet at a time. We go to the store once a week. I get to walk a little then. But it’s not enough. The lack of exercise is responsible for my loss of stamina. Now that the treadmill is here, I’m getting back in shape. It’s a slow process. In the few days I have used it, I’ve managed to walk a quarter of a mile each session. I’m hoping that by this time next week, I’ll be up to half a mile. That may not seem like much, but it’s significant for me.

As Mrs. Lion mentioned yesterday in her post, I’m working on my second book. Apparently, my new profession is an author. So far, it’s a very low-paying job. It’s also tough work for me. I’m determined to write every day and self-publish as much as I can. Mrs. Lion and Julie of Strict Julie Spanks have helped by reviewing and editing my work. I need an editor/proofreader to help fix continuity and other errors I make that slip through the cracks. In a past life, I owned a design and publishing company. We had professional proofreaders on the payroll. It always amazes me what a pro can find in what I think is perfect text.

Until I can afford a pro, we will do our best and live with misplaced quotes, etc. Writing daily posts here has helped strengthen my writing chops. Fan Mail was a learning experience from end to end. I loved writing it. Mrs. Lion and I both like writing here. We enjoy sharing our lives with you. I’m hoping my fiction will be fun for you too. The Kindle edition, which you can read on any device, is only USD 2.99. If you click the book title above, it takes you to a free preview. Before I leave the subject of Fan Mail, if you’ve read it, please leave a review on Amazon. Click here to go to the Amazon page for reviews.

Penis update

Mrs. Lion has been reporting the state of my ability to get close to ejaculating. She’s going to try an earlier playtime to see if that helps things. I hope so. We briefly discussed locking me up again in the Evotion male chastity device. I’m expecting the delivery of the new version of the voice-controlled lockbox. The initial item didn’t work right. A new version has been manufactured, and I will test it as soon as it arrives. The new version uses Amazon Alexa to unlock and lock it. If this works as advertised, a keyholder could unlock the container remotely using the Alexa app on her cellphone.  This offers all sorts of possibilities. The main one for us is that Mrs. Lion can unlock the key for me in case of emergency, no matter where she is. I’ll keep you posted.

It’s hard to believe that the year is nearly over. I’m glad that the stimulus bill looks like it will pass. Like millions of other Americans, my unemployment runs out on December 26. I’m still on furlough with no sign I will be called back to work. Meanwhile, we are both doing our best to stay isolated and healthy. Fortunately, we are both happy being together without outside contacts.

I’ve hesitated writing about sex because I don’t want Mrs. Lion to think that I am signaling that I want something. I am very happy to wait until she is ready. Meanwhile, we snuggle and enjoy each other’s company. You won’t be surprised to learn that I have been thinking about sex. Admittedly, my thoughts haven’t been very specific. I really don’t mind waiting.

Mrs. Lion mentioned locking me up again. I have mixed feelings about that. We didn’t solve the fit issue with the Evotion Orion. I remeasured and ordered a longer and wider center section. Within minutes of putting it on, my cock was swallowed up inside the new part. The original center section is much shorter and narrower. In the past, I think it caused some irritation. I never figured out why. One theory is that the section is too narrow and abrades the area just under the head. But, I ended up with a single sore spot, not overall irritation. Also, this happened twice at different times, but in the same spot on my penis. If Mrs. Lion locks me in it again, we will both have to be very careful to look for potential irritation.

Since she is home all the time, I’m never really alone. There isn’t the slightest risk I will misbehave. Locking and unlocking me may be extra distractions for her. As you probably guessed, I’m ambivalent about returning to wearing a male chastity device. It might not be up to me, but Mrs. Lion is unlikely to lock me up unless I want her to. At least, I don’t think she will.