Over the years, we have gotten many requests for information about male chastity. Here are the three most common ones we get.

will my penis get smaller?

This is one of the most frequently asked questions about wearing a male chastity device. Since the device prevents erections, some men fear that their penises will shrink. This isn’t true. Erection prevention is frustrating but not at all harmful. The theory is that if it isn’t allowed to inflate the penis, it will lose flexibility and not grow as much. Aging will make your penis shrink a little, but not wearing a chastity device.

is orgasm control habit-forming?

Yes! I wore a male chastity device 24/7 for over three years. I was only unlocked when Mrs. Lion wanted to tease me or give me an orgasm. Otherwise, my penis was inaccessible to me. Once I was allowed to run wild (no cage), I lost my desire to masturbate. It just never occurred to me that I could jerk off. I haven’t gotten myself off since 2013–not once. I have learned to patiently wait for Mrs. Lion to give me release. I think she would be very surprised if I demanded an orgasm or tried to jerk off. It’s just the way things are. I don’t think that we could decide to stop. If we did, I probably wouldn’t get to have an orgasm until we decided to start again. I don’t control what sex I get. Mrs. Lion is in charge of that.

How can I try male chastity if I can’t get a device that fits?

This is a complex subject. We have several articles about fitting male chastity devices (see the menu at the top of our web page). The simple fact is that all penises are not alike. They vary in flaccid length, thickness, relationship to the scrotum, etc. You are very lucky if you can find an off-the-shelf male chastity device that is comfortable to wear. You can probably get a device that you can handle for a weekend for less than $50. Longer-term wear requires custom fitting.

First, forget about security. A male chastity device is not a prison that you can attempt to escape. It’s an educational aid to help a man learn to stop masturbating and allow his partner to control his sexual activities. It isn’t meant to challenge you to get your dick out. It’s there to help. Since men are the ones asking to be locked up, it makes no sense to try to escape. The important thing is to find a device that fits. You can do that, but it won’t be cheap. The typical custom device costs about $400. Once you decide that you want to be kept chaste, it’s worth the investment. We have several articles to help you.

There are lots of questions that people ask about chastity device fitting. If you read the various forums, I guarantee you will get more confused. The best thing to do is keep it simple. Try to buy a device that matches your measurements. Don’t worry, they will be wrong the first time. Fitting a device takes time and patience.

Our site combines a blog and informational pages about topics that interest us. The blog is about our sexual journey that began with me asking Mrs. Lion to lock my penis in a male chastity device. That was a pretty kinky request but not too odd for me. Since that was nine years ago, we obviously liked it. The problem is that we evolved, and the need for hardware disappeared as we grew.

When we started, I thought that my penis would be locked in a male chastity device permanently. Well, not exactly permanently; it would come out for teasing and the occasional orgasm. For about three years, that was exactly what happened. Then we took a break. It was forced by shoulder surgery. After I recovered, the cage went back on. This time it didn’t stay. Mrs. Lion seemed to lose her taste for locking and unlocking a male chastity device. I was “wild” much of the time.

Eventually, the male chastity device came off and stayed off. It wasn’t just that Mrs. Lion didn’t want to take the time to lock and unlock me. There was no reason to bother. Its original purpose was to assure that I wouldn’t cheat by jerking off. Mrs. Lion’s first rule was that I was not allowed to masturbate. She made that rule in December 2013 and enforced it with a male chastity device. By the time I needed shoulder surgery, I had lost interest in masturbating. It didn’t occur to me that I could do it.

I was trained not to jerk off. If you had asked me if that would result from wearing a male chastity device in 2013, I would have laughed. I knew that the cage would prevent me from getting myself off, but once I was unlocked, I was sure I could go back to jerking off. I was wrong. The only orgasms I’ve experienced since we started were produced by my lioness–almost always with her hand. I wasn’t trained away from hand-made orgasms, just the ones I could do myself. Here I am in 2022, blogging on Male Chastity Journal with a wild penis. I still can’t jerk off, and Mrs. Lion decides if and when I can orgasm. We don’t use hardware to enforce it. I’m pretty sure that I will never be allowed to decide when  I can come. Mrs. Lion is permanently in charge of that.

another big change in direction

It isn’t that we stopped doing kinky things. They’ve evolved. A few years ago, Mrs. Lion began punishing me if I broke the rules. So far, the punishment is spanking. She’s been evolving her ability to spank me until she’s reached the point that she blisters my bottom when I need punishment. It’s true domestic discipline. I almost never get away with breaking a rule. We’ve chronicled our disciplinary journey in our blog.

The name Male Chastity Journal doesn’t fit our spanking posts. They often outnumber our sexual writing. It makes no sense to change our name. Our brand is well established. We don’t need to go through years of building a new one. I suppose that if I had any idea that things would change so much, I would have tried to find a more generic blog name. I did update the current masthead. I’m not at all sure that it matters to anyone but me.

In a way, it’s a good thing we evolved. There’s nothing new in male chastity devices. I thought that 3D printing would open up new vistas in male chastity devices. It hasn’t so far. I’m not surprised. A male chastity device is pretty simple. Ideally, it’s a tamper-proof container for the flaccid penis that is comfortable to wear and easy to keep clean. That’s it. Simple, right? Well, no. Our weenies are sensitive and easily injured. Any device that will be on it 24/7 has to fit perfectly. As far as I can see, nothing new has come along that is more comfortable.

Anyway, we aren’t writing much about male chastity nowadays. We write about male orgasm control and domestic discipline. We discuss what we’ve learned about effective adult spanking. As usual, you get both sides of the experience. Our name may be less accurate, but our kink is alive and well.

Everyone has their idea of what sex is all about. The first time we discover that if we rub a certain way, something new and amazing happens. Some people find out by accident. It feels good to touch down there. I wonder what will happen if I keep touching. Some of us are taught. A group of kids sit in a circle and play truth or dare. Tame questions about sex turn into dares to get naked. You get the picture.

The point is that most of us learned that sex was a finite process that began with genital stimulation and ended in orgasm. We males never really escape that perspective. Sex for us ends in ejaculation. We are designed to work that way. Male arousal isn’t gradual. Stimulate the penis enough, and we go from excited to ejaculation in three seconds. We are driven to get to that point.

Females are programmed to reach orgasm in a linear path. As stimulation continues, arousal gradually grows until orgasm finally happens. Many women can have multiple orgasms. This is no accident. To assure the survival of the species, the female has to remain receptive until the male can ejaculate. Nature is indifferent to whether or not she has an orgasm.

This difference in our design is central to male chastity. You can get a man’s attention by preventing ejaculation. Male masturbation is one strategy to keep him in heat. Both men and women will lose interest in sex when none is available. I think that the main reason most men masturbate their entire lives is that drive to stay ready to propagate. Mrs. Lion and I have learned that my libido is easily reduced to background noise simply by preventing ejaculation for some time.

This subject–lost male libido–doesn’t usually come up because most men freely masturbate. Those of us who try male chastity often start out on the theory that preventing the ability to ejaculate will result in massive arousal almost all the time. We think this will be fun and will drive us to be more attentive to our mates. We make the mistake of believing that our partners will like this idea because they will get more sexual attention.

For me, at least, it turned out that the constant arousal phase was pretty short. When we started, I would start to lose interest in sex after two or three weeks of chastity. Now, I start to lose interest after a few days. We’ve learned that keeping me interested is fairly easy. If Mrs. Lion gets me to the edge of orgasm every day or two, my arousal stays high. Even this fails after a while. She lets me ejaculate about once a week.

From the first day I suggested male chastity, Mrs. Lion insisted that I never masturbate. This rule wasn’t part of the male chastity game. She genuinely dislikes the idea of me providing my own sexual entertainment. When she told me, I don’t think she fully understood how something that simple would affect my libido. I didn’t know either. I jerked off when I felt sexual pressure building. I never thought about it. I just did it.

Now, I am in my ninth year of having no ability to get myself off. It’s probably too late for Mrs. Lion to decide to let me jerk off. I don’t know if I can. Even if I could relearn to do it, her feeling about it being wrong hasn’t changed. She wants ownership of my sexual pleasure. She always has, even before she knew I masturbated. She’s made it clear that part of being her husband is giving her full ownership of my orgasms. She didn’t think this was a D/S concept. She believes it’s part of the marriage vows. In that sense, we were practicing male orgasm control from the day she discovered that I was masturbating.

I know that most men jerk off. Like me, they never discussed it with their wives. Most women have some idea that they do it. In fact, my ex-wife would sometimes “help” me when she was too tired for sex. I would jerk off while she tickled my balls. We never discussed whether or not I jerked off when she wasn’t around. I doubt that she cared. Mrs. Lion cares and has made it crystal clear that I will not bring myself to ejaculate.

Guess what? I’m interested in sex again. I’ve put Mrs. Lion off for the last few days. I just couldn’t get into the mood. Now, my natural horniness is returning. I ran across an interesting post this morning, “Blow Job Tips.” A woman shared her techniques for oral sex. I’m not suggesting that Mrs. Lion needs to improve her technique. It was just interesting to me as a male, to learn some of the techniques women use. Just thought I would pass it on.

I’ve been wearing my locking cock ring the same way I wore my male chastity device. It’s gone from an on-again-off-again toy to something that is on almost all the time. It only comes off when Mrs. Lion wants fuller access. I know she is having me wear it because I asked, but it’s exciting anyway. There’s something about 24/7 symbols of ownership that turn me on. Locking genital jewelry is easier for me to wear than a collar. It absolutely serves the same purpose.

A male chastity device has two basic functions. It prevents unauthorized masturbation and erections. It also marks the male as belonging to the keyholder. The locking cock ring permits erection and masturbation. However, it clearly marks the male as owned. A collar can be considered a fashion item and might even attract female attention. A standard cock ring might also be considered sexually attractive. However, one that is securely locked in place unmistakably signals hands-off.

If a woman happened to see a new male friend’s penis locked in a ring like mine, she would have to ask what it was. It wouldn’t take long to learn that the male can’t remove it. The obvious next question is, “Who can?” There you go. Ownership. I’m not going to be in that position. But I like the idea that even if I wanted to try, it wouldn’t work.

Mrs. Lion is always free to trade the ring for a male chastity device if she thinks it would be helpful. What I wear down there and when it comes off is totally up to her. For now, she is happy letting me get hard when I want. She knows I won’t jerk off. At some point, she may decide that she wants more control and doesn’t want unauthorized erections. All she has to do is trade the cock ring for a male chastity device. It’s that simple (for her!). I don’t get a vote.

I’m not sure that she thinks about it this way. She may not consider marking her territory particularly important. I hope she does. Regardless, it’s how I think about it.