When I read some of the male chastity forums, I see device reviews that make a big deal out of their security. This puzzles me. I don’t think these references are concerns that someone will steal the chastity device. it seems that some guys want to be sure that they can’t escape. “Pull out” is the common term for the ability to extract the penis from a chastity device by pulling it out through the back of the base ring. With most devices, this can be painful to do. The purpose of pulling out is to permit unauthorized masturbation.

Good grief! Really?

I get it. Common male chastity fantasies center on the male being an unwilling victim who is cruelly locked in a chastity device. His hormones are in such disarray that he will do anything to ejaculate. Since his cruel keyholder won’t let him out, he has to escape if he wants to jerk off.

Maybe that’s a hot fantasy, but it makes absolutely no sense for most guys. First of all, male chastity is proposed by the male. He measures himself and buys the chastity device. Usually, he has to convince a potential keyholder to lock him up and hang on to the keys. He wants her to let him get really horny before she unlocks him. Why would he worry about whether he could escape without a key? The only real worry is that the device has to fit well enough so that his junk won’t fall out.

If he is so immature that he might want to pull out and masturbate, he faces a problem if he succeeds. If you think it is difficult to pull out, try pushing your penis back in! It’s possible with some devices, but it isn’t easy. Even if it was simple to escape and get back, doing that defeats the entire reason he asked to be locked up.

Some guys get off believing they are truly trapped in their male chastity devices. They want “security” to make the fantasy real. Generally speaking, increasing device security will decrease comfort. A tight base ring will make it harder to pull out. It will also chafe and make wearing the device misery. Some guys use piercings to anchor the device to their penises. This is effective but not escape-proof.

Way back 30 years ago, most guys who were into male chastity devices had no real interest in keyholders. They built and wore chastity devices to test how secure they were. A guy would make or buy a device and lock himself in. The rule was that he was stuck in the device until he could escape without the key. Once he escaped, he would look for a tougher challenge. He had two incentives to escape quickly: He wanted to brag how good he was as an escape artist, and the longer it took the hornier he got.

Most of us have long realized that the most important value a male chastity device can have is comfort. Of course, it has to suppress erections and make masturbating while locked up as difficult as possible. Mostly it has to be fun to wear. I enjoy wearing mine; especially when Mrs. Lion is in control.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I am not particularly concerned with chastity device security. My reasoning is that I’m wearing the device because I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. Why would I want to defeat something I requested in the first place? I assume that this is true of every other guy as well. It’s a good thing.

Let’s assume that someone makes an inescapable device. This magical device keeps the penis safely tucked into a tube or a cage making it inaccessible to exploring fingers. The reason the penis has been locked away is to prevent unauthorized orgasm and ejaculation. Here’s the thing: As many men have discovered, contact with the penis is not absolutely necessary to achieve orgasm and ejaculation.

Men have always known that women are capable of reaching orgasm by stimulating areas of their bodies other than their vaginas and clitoris (clitorae?). I’ve had at least one partner who could achieve anal orgasm. Another actually came by being spanked. This isn’t strictly a female quality. After all, orgasms are triggered in the brain. Almost every male has experienced at least one wet dream when he’s ejaculated in his sleep without any physical stimulation.

The principal value of a chastity device is to make orgasm inconvenient. Many men describe masturbation as a habit. Some women think it’s a bad habit. Mrs. Lion belongs to this group. She is not interested in allowing me to masturbate. I think she is also the first woman I’ve known who has expressed a position on whether or not I should masturbate. I always assumed that as long as I didn’t sexually neglect my partner, masturbation was a bodily function of no special consequence.

I never found it enormously satisfying. Most of the time, it felt a little bit like scratching an itch. On rare occasions it was spectacular. I also never imagined there would be a time when I wouldn’t, at least occasionally, jerk off. It was something I learned to do when I was 11 years old and until Mrs. Lion locked me in a chastity device, I continued on a more or less regular basis.

I bring this up again now because in my mind, at least, the major benefit of wearing a chastity device is to make me pause and remember I’m not supposed to play with myself. I think a lot of men almost unconsciously reach down and masturbate when alone and bored.

Recently, Mrs. Lion has been writing about the fact that I get “stuck” before I reach the edge of orgasm. I do. I can’t explain why it happens. It’s happened to me in the past. During the days when I masturbated, there were plenty of times I gave up because I just couldn’t get myself past a certain point. This has also happened during partner sex. On those occasions, I just kept going until my partner was satisfied and then I stopped.

I don’t think this is a pathological issue. It may happen because I’m tired or not getting enough sleep or not eating the right food; who knows? I don’t find it distressing, just frustrating. I’m not aware if this happens with other men. I imagine it does; I’m not that unique.

While that’s a frustrating male issue, I never get alarmed or worried when it happens. The male problem that would immediately worry me is the inability to get hard. That has also happened to me, fortunately infrequently. I’ve also had times when I could get hard and then lose the erection in the middle of being stimulated. I have type II diabetes and even though it is well-controlled, it’s been known to interfere with getting and maintaining strong erections. Since they’ve become so inexpensive and have no adverse side effects, I’ve been taking boner pills on a regular basis just in case.

I started with generic Viagra. It was the first of this class of drugs to become available at a low price. It was never my favorite because its effect only lasts three or four hours. I’ve always liked Cialis. It has just come off patent and is now extremely inexpensive. This drug has a 36 hour effective span. You can also take a low dose (2.5 mg or 5 mg) every day and enjoy the effect continuously. It only costs about $16 a month to do this.

I haven’t had a problem getting hard when Mrs. Lion stimulates me without any pharmaceutical help. However, I find erections are much firmer, longer lasting, and feel better to me when I take boner pills. A lot of guys misunderstand how this class of drug works. It does not turn you on or make you hard just because you take it. All it does is facilitate the mechanical process of getting an erection. It has no effect at all on arousal. I’ve read people write about how it would be torture to take Viagra while locked in a chastity device. It wouldn’t affect you at all. It would just be a waste of money.

Many years ago, my first BDSM partner got very aroused when she used bondage she knew I couldn’t escape. We had heavy duty locking wrist and ankle restraints. She used serious padlocks to keep them closed. There was no way I could get myself free. Of course, she didn’t leave me alone when I was restrained. However, some time ago I read a Stephen King story about a couple who used similar restraints. I believe the woman restrained the man spread-eagle to the bed and then had a heart attack. It may have been the man restraining the woman; I can’t remember. The story was about how terrifying it was to be trapped this way.

Fortunately for me, at the time I never considered that possibility. I really should have. I think the same is true about any bondage equipment, even chastity device. It’s fortunate that even the most secure are ultimately escapable. Even the ones secured by piercings can be defeated. Many guys carry an emergency key. I did for a long time. I didn’t like it. It was too easy to use. Since all of the devices we own can be removed one way or another without a key, I felt reasonably safe no longer possessing my emergency key.

That doesn’t mean enforced male chastity is purely symbolic. It isn’t. Maybe all the hardware can be defeated. Maybe even the strong conditioning I’ve received not to masturbate could be overcome. But knowing how important it is to Mrs. Lion that she and only she can make me ejaculate turns out to be truly inescapable security.

 

A number of people on the chastity forum have been writing about ejaculating while locked in a chastity device. It’s been a while since I’ve heard people talk about this. In the 90’s, when I was reviewing chastity devices, the owner of Access Denied who made full chastity belts told me about an extreme case.

One of his customers locked himself up intending to permanently stay in the belt. He got very frustrated and desperately looked for ways to get off. Finally, after some time he managed to be able to ejaculate by playing with his nipples. He went back to Access Denied and asked for a stainless steel bra to keep his hands away from this new source of orgasm.

Most women know that they have multiple erogenous areas capable of producing orgasm. A good number can come during anal intercourse. Others have been known to have nipple-induced orgasms. I had one lover who could reliably get off by being spanked.

Most guys, me included, never felt the need to explore alternate paths to ejaculation. I’ve felt the Magic Wand against my cage. It felt good, but not good enough to get me off. Other guys find the Magic Wand a reliable in-cage orgasm producer.

In case you didn’t know, an erection is not required for ejaculation. Over the years there have been occasions when I masturbated and was unable to get hard yet I still eventually ejaculated.

I’m a little surprised that some guys feel dedicated enough to defeating their chastity devices that they will find a way to ejaculate inside them. I know that some keyholders have induced in-cage ejaculations just for the fun of it.

Some people think that because the motivation for wearing a chastity device is to experience sexual control, that they need to find ways to defeat it as a way of testing the control. Defeating chastity devices is a time-honored hobby. I’ve always thought it was distinctly different from the kind of enforced chastity I experience.

Given enough time it’s pretty easy to learn how to ejaculate inside a chastity device. There is no fixed formula in terms of penis stimulation needed for that orgasm. Men with spinal cord injuries who can’t achieve erection can ejaculate given the right kind of stimulation. There are devices that provide electro-stim that can produce orgasms. Erections are completely beside the point. If you are inclined to try non-contact ejaculation, there is a wide range of electro-stim devices that with practice, will get you off.

This sort of activity is outside of my chastity experience. I suppose that if Mrs. Lion wanted to unlock me and play with electro-stim or other alternate sexual stimulation techniques that would be fine. I’m not willing to do anything to defeat her control of my orgasms.

For me at least, enforced chastity is about being trained to surrender sexual pleasure to my lioness regardless of how long she wishes to deny me. I just don’t want my experience to be like a prisoner of war, where I am obligated to do everything I can to escape. Sure, there are times I wish I could get myself off. It’s not always easy to be under someone else’s control.

I’m not suggesting that my way is the One True Way. If a couple wants to do something different there is nothing wrong with that. Certainly, the tradition of attempting escape or orgasm while locked is probably older than the power exchange we practice.

Obviously, it’s not “normal” to ejaculate with the flaccid penis. The only way most of us could experience that would be getting off while locked in a chastity device. Almost everyone who has tried this reports that the resulting orgasm was not particularly satisfying.

This topic fits into the “chastity device security” category. It’s a twist on getting the penis to escape. In this case, the penis stays safely locked up but it’s owner gets an orgasm and ejaculates anyway. If it’s important to prevent this, a full chastity belt is required. Most are built so that even the mighty Magic Wand will be unable to penetrate with its sexy vibrations.

jail bird chastity device
My one inch Jail Bird. Could this be the new standard size for off-the-shelf chastity devices?

Sunday night, with the help of the Magic Wand vibrator, Mrs. Lion finally got me off after 11 days of waiting. I’m still not sure why I had difficulty during this time. But, at least for now, the drought is over. I’m still wild and un-spanked. I have a feeling it won’t be long before both will be corrected. I wonder if I will end up in the locking cock ring or the Jail Bird.

penis being washed in the shower
This feels amazing! I love how Mrs. Lion keeps me clean.
(Click image to watch the complete video of this great shower handjob)

Mrs. Lion is still my shower buddy. Truth be told, I can do a lot of the washing myself. However, it’s much more fun when she does it for me. Her penis-washing skill is amazing. Since I mentioned it, she’s been spending extra time making sure my erection is squeaky clean. What fun!

I’m a little surprised that there hasn’t been much recent innovation in the chastity device field. Male chastity devices seem to have stopped evolving. The only possible exception is the Nub. Even that, is really a derivative of the classic, Holy Trainer line of chastity devices.

I’m not sure what I expect. After all, there are only so many containers you can build designed to house a flaccid penis. In my life, the only real innovation has been my discovery that cage length (or tube length) can be one short size, 1 inch long I believe.

Six years ago, cage length was considered critical. The flaccid penis needed to be contained in a cage long enough to allow it to comfortably rest inside. It took me a while to realize that I don’t have a single, flaccid length. In my case, I varied from over 2 1/2 inches to 1 1/4 inches, depending on my body position, temperature, time of day, etc.

I think every guy has a similar experience. I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize that flaccid penis length is probably the least critical factor when measuring for a male chastity device.

My standard, every day device is a Jail Bird. If the cage is longer than my current penis length, the head is free to move off-center putting a bar in front of my urethra. This guarantees any attempted urination will be in messy affair with urine spraying all over the place. The manufacturer of the Jail Bird recommends that the head and sides of the penis remain in firm contact with the bars at all times. They say it should fit the same way a glove fits on your hand. After having my Jail Bird shortened twice, I now have a cage that’s a scant 1 inch long.

It fits like a glove. The only thing visible between the bars is the head of my penis. That took a little getting used to. It’s absolutely comfortable to wear, but it’s a little strange to look down and just see head of the penis. The rest is invisible. From what I’ve read, this view is a little disturbing to some guys. Oh well.

I think this discovery is pretty important. It means that off-the-shelf chastity devices can be sold that will provide a fit as good as the much more expensive custom devices like the Jail Bird.

If you accept the idea that a very short cage works for almost everyone, then there are only two measurements that need to be addressed: The first, and probably most critical, is the base ring diameter. This is the ring that anchors the device. Both balls and the penis are threaded through this ring and then the cage is locked to it.

I’ve learned that the base ring size is also not terribly critical. Most guys attempt to wear base rings that are too tight. They reason that a tight base ring will make escape from the device more difficult. It will. But it will also irritate the area it’s around. A too-large base ring will allow a ball to escape. One that is correctly sized, will feel comfortable to wear long term and successfully contain both balls. According to a few manufacturers, a one and three-quarter inch diameter ring works well for most men.

The second, and probably most critical dimension, is the diameter of the cage. Surprisingly, not much is written about this measurement. The reason for it is that most of us are very similar in size when it comes to the diameter of our flaccid penises. There’s some leeway in this measurement. Most critical is that it can’t be too small. If it is too small, edema (swelling of the flaccid penis) is likely. Urination will also be more difficult. If it is too large, erections get a bit too much of a head start and can result in the cage being pushed out pulling the balls with it.

Most Western penises will comfortably fit in a cage with a diameter between 1.25 and 1.5 inches. Of course, some guys will be too large. However, most of us will fit nicely in a chastity device with a one and three-quarter inch base ring and a cage with a diameter of 1 1/2 inches and a length of 1 inch. When device manufacturers realize this, it should be easy to find an inexpensive device that will work nicely long-term.

I think that there is a certain amount of penis ego tied up in chastity device selection. That’s a little surprising to me since the whole purpose of the device is to remove the penis as a sexual object unless the keyholder wants to free it for some activity. Until that time, it should be a simple, utilitarian part of the body that has the single-purpose of facilitating urination.

I know that all of us get sexually aroused by the idea of the control a chastity  device imposes on us. It’s a really sexy form of bondage. Maybe we have to grow up a little bit and recognize that  a chastity device is not a sex-proof display case for the penis. It’s a sex proof barrier with the single purpose of permitting urination and preventing sexual arousal and satisfaction. Right?