Remember yesterday when I said I wasn’t going to make any promises for the weekend? Yeah. This is why I don’t do new year’s resolutions. I never keep them. I’ve decided we’re playing after lunch. Now, it may not be right after lunch since it takes a little bit to digest, but not long after lunch, we’ll play. Nope. I haven’t found the damn Velcro. I haven’t even looked yet. But Lion wants attention earlier and we do have the football game later, so early attention he’ll get.

Lion has been talking about masturbation lately. Does that mean he wants to masturbate? I’m not sure he can anymore. I may have trained it out of him. Of course, if he wants to do it, I can try to train it back into him. As far as I’m concerned, unless I’m not doing enough for him or if he wants me to watch him do it, there’s no need for him to masturbate. He did it because I wasn’t giving him enough sex. I may not be now either. Sometimes he feels it’s never enough. On the other hand, there are times I want to give him sex and he’s not up for it. He insists I should do it anyway. I haven’t had much luck with that.

A while ago, I decided to give Lion an orgasm every time we play. Is that rational? What if it’s one of those cases where he’s just not horny enough for an orgasm? Maybe he’s not going to get anywhere near the edge. He’s horny, and he wants sex, but the planets have not aligned. I was never very good at reading whether he wanted to be edged or really wanted an orgasm. I’ve been positive he wanted an orgasm, given it to him, and then he says he wanted to wait longer. The opposite has been true on occasion too. These are the “can’t win” times.

Another scenario is that I think he’s never going to get near the edge so I stop only for him to say he was near or getting there. This, I guess, is one of the problems of his not talking during sex. I mean I don’t want him to say, “oooh baby, oooh baby.” That’s not him. It’s just difficult for me to tell where he is on the horniness/nearing-the-edge scale. You’d think by now I’d know. Nope. He’s still a mystery.

[Lion — I don’t always know either. Sometimes I go from 20 to 100 in a few seconds. I wish I had more warning. I guess I can try to signal when I feel something happening. On the subject of masturbation, I’m not sure I can do it anymore. I don’t know if it matters. It’s just something that I haven’t done in nearly a decade. I prefer Mrs. Lion doing it for me, anyway.]

Listen to this post.