One thing that turns me on is when Mrs. Lion is strict with me. In terms of a power exchange, the concept of strictness can be a slippery slope. For a top to be strict, there is an implicit assumption she is paying close attention to the behavior of her bottom. That takes a lot of time and energy on the part of the top. To some, it means micromanaging the bottom. That’s the problem for Mrs. Lion.
Fortunately, there are creative ways to provide strict management without an excessive investment of time. My long experience as a top allowed me to discover some, and talks with other tops taught me others. The first thing to consider if you are the top, is that you want your bottom to feel that he is under strict control. The conversation is not what you have to do to provide strict management, even though that’s what it appears to be. It’s about what will make your partner feel that you are a strict top.
Let’s look at it from my perspective as a caged, disciplined male. I define “strict” as close control of my behavior with consequences for any deviation from what my lioness expects. How the deviations are discovered is not part of my definition. That means Mrs. Lion doesn’t necessarily have to watch my every move to be my strict lioness.
As an honorable partner, I should report my own transgressions if not observed by my partner. I should be mature enough not to wait to be “caught” in order to be corrected. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion can avoid noting offenses. Her input is invaluable since I may completely “forget” a rule and therefore not self report.
Even more important than observing my transgressions is the need for consequences. Making exceptions is not a kindness in my case. If I break a rule, then punishment is earned. We have a system to relieve Mrs. Lion of the need to remember my infractions. If she observes one, she can put a penny in the lion punishment bank. On punishment days she can count the pennies and punish accordingly. The idea is to make it easy for her to enforce rules and impossible for me to avoid consequences. That, to me, is the essence of strict lion management.
This goes against her good nature. She is very willing to allow me slack. For example, I didn’t wear my collar all weekend. She decided to forgive me. That may appear a kindness, but the kinder thing for me is to punish me. It’s my job to remember to wear it. Even if Mrs. Lion doesn’t remind me if I forget, I didn’t do what I was told. To me, the key to being strict is allowing few, if any, exceptions.
There is one other, very easy technique: making a transgression impossible. The chastity device makes sexual touching impossible. So, all Mrs. Lion has to do in order to assure I won’t be playing with my weenie is to keep it locked up any time she isn’t actively interacting with it. Simple and not much work at all.
I never fail to do something I should because I want to provoke a punishment. I fail because I get lazy or distracted. I don’t want to be either. I also don’t want Mrs. Lion to feel pressured to find every little infraction. She may need to find some because I didn’t notice my own misdeed. But I owe her diligence observing my own transgressions. To help me learn to be better at that, she could notice but not mention some and then wait for me to report them. If I fail, then I can be reminded of the fact I didn’t tell her and earn a punishment for the infraction and another for failure to report it. That way I will learn to take on a lot of the reporting needed to provide strict lion management. At least, that’s my current thinking. What do you think, 2.0?