This morning Lion said he’s been getting hard at night. Well, he’s been trying to get hard. The cage gets in the way. I think it adds fuel to my theory of his brokenness being in his mind. When he’s sleeping, and his mind is turned off, he wants to get hard. During the day, when he’s thinking, he doesn’t feel horny. Mind over matter.
Now what we need to do is figure out how to get his mind to stop being so pessimistic. Every night I’ve been asking if he wants to play. Last night he asked if we could wait until today. Of course we can. But if he asks to wait till tomorrow, I think the answer should be no. At some point I have to take over and insist he play. I know, in the past I’ve said I can’t force him to get hard and that’s still true, but I do need to get him going again. Last night I told him I’m not giving up on him. I’m not letting him go down the rabbit hole of no sex.
We’ve both been so tired and the weather is getting us down. Winter is so rainy and depressing around here. We need to snap out of it. Today we’ll formulate a plan to get ourselves out of our doldrums. I’m not quite sure what the answer is, but we have to do something. And doing it together seems like the best way.