Both Lion and I have written about our week of doldrums. He emerged from it as horny as ever. I seem to have emerged with less desire to make him wait for an orgasm. Similarly, I seem to have less desire, at least in the past week or so, to play with him.

Last weekend I gave him some anal training and pegged him. As I said, I set anal training as a goal because it would satisfy Lion’s need for my control as well as my need for a focus. I’m just not sure what focal point to set for playing. And where did that desire go?

I’m not really sure I had a desire to play with him. It was more of a desire to make him happy. But there was a desire there and it’s changed. It’s not that I don’t want to make him happy anymore. Apparently I can’t explain it very well.

If I had to give to a turning point, I would say it was sometime after his twelve day wait. Maybe it had something to do with the intensity of teasing him without giving him an orgasm. Maybe it was my subsequent decision that he doesn’t need a specific wait time. Perhaps he doesn’t need a specific time but do.

What if, in order to focus on playing with him, I need to restrain myself from giving him an orgasm? If his orgasm is my goal then I need to take certain steps to earn the right to give him an orgasm. It almost seems like I’m topping myself. But I have to figure out some way to get my focus back on playing with him. Maybe it will start with a wait time.

Lion just had an orgasm last night and I’m planning on another one tonight (perhaps with a little more foreplay than just whacking his balls). If he is horny enough for tonight’s activities then he can wait six days for his next one. More importantly, for the experiment, I will wait six days. We’ll see if that improves my focus.