(Monday, May 12 2014) Time for another look into our mailbag.

Dear Journal,

I’ve been reading about male chastity for a long time. It’s hot to think about. I’ve been married five years and my wife and I are very normal. We haven’t done anything kinky. I don’t know what she will think if I ask her to lock me up and take charge of my sex life. I want this so much!

Needs to be caged

Dear Needs,

Almost all of us had exactly the same concern. I spent months thinking about being locked up before I finally got up the nerve to have the chastity talk. During that time I read all I could find that was written by real couples who successfully got into forced male chastity. Most of what I found, particularly on the forums for chastity, were single males writing completely unrealistic fantasies. This lack of real information is why I decided to share here.

There is no simple answer to your question. My approach was to simplify what I was asking. In the first conversation you just have to explain what it is you want; in this case, to have your penis locked up and have her hold the key. The inevitable question from her will be, “Why?” The answer to this can be kept simple. Something like, “Because I want you to decide when I get sexual release, and I want you to know that I can’t masturbate or even get an erection without your permission.”

Undoubtedly there will be many more questions. Many women will ask for time to think about it. That’s a good sign. You’ve waited this long, you can wait a bit longer. I suggest you show her this site. Ask her to read the section for prospective keyholders: How To Cage Your Man. This should answer many of her questions.

If you are lucky, she will agree to try locking you up. Shop for a chastity device with her. When you get it, put it on and give her the key. Now the hard part. You will be tempted to come up with all sorts of ideas on what she should do now that you are caged. Resist them. She has done her reading. Just stay quietly in your cage and let her decide what’s next.

Dear Journal,

I’ve been caged for a few weeks now. My wife seems to enjoy controlling my sex life. She has unlocked me and given me an orgasm at least twice a week. I know I should be grateful for this, but one reason I wanted to be locked up was to make a dream come true; not being allowed to come for at least a year. I told her about this several times, but she wouldn’t agree to such a long term lockup. What can I do?

Don’t make me come again

Don’t make me come,

Many men fantasize about long term chastity. Very few actually do it. When you gave your wife the keys to your cage, you surrendered control of your sexuality. As Mrs. Lion has graphically shown me, this can be long term teasing and ruined orgasms or being made to come every day. The point is that she is the boss. In a sense, your wish to not come for a long time is an expression of you wanting to control how she tops you.

You may want to ask yourself whether you wanted to be locked up at all? Did you want her in charge of your sexuality, or did you want her to  help you give up sex for a year? Maybe you asked for the wrong thing.