Bottoms can feel like black holes sucking all the energy from the top.
Bottoms can feel like black holes sucking all the energy from the top.

Massive black holes are at the center of every galaxy. They pull everything into them and disintegrate matter. Caged males, or bottoms of all kinds can also become black holes seeming to need an infinite amount of attention. It’s true that almost all males in a submissive/bottom roles like to feel the power of their tops. It’s also true that many, especially including me, like to try new things. Ask any dealer in BDSM toys; most toys are purchased by bottoms.

The obvious problem with this is that the top becomes exhausted by the constant need for more and different action. It’s easy for a top to feel trapped in the gravity of the bottom black hole. Resisting this force will often result in the bottom feeling neglected. Is there any way to find equilibrium?

The first step is for the top to experiment a bit. If the caged male wants more action, try giving it to him. He wants to play more often; try every day. It probably won’t take too long before he is too sore and tired to want to continue at that rate. Data point acquired.

He wants to do more, probably painful activities (yes, I know, that’s me). OK, give them to him. Since Lioness 2.0 has been on the scene, she has been doing just that. I wanted to play games. I got Jeopardy with very painful clothespins on my balls. Do I want to do it again? Yes! Do I want to do it every day? Please, no! Another data point.

I got turned on by a random doggy command (“Up boy, up!”). I asked for more. 2.0 requires I wear a dog collar all the time I am not in public; not for a day or week, but all the time. I want domestic discipline. I get very painful spankings for any transgression.

Does all this stop me for wanting to try other things? No it doesn’t. But it does stop me from whining or expressing a sense of urgency. I don’t feel a bit neglected if we skip some time between play sessions. I understand that if I ask to try something, I will do more than try it. Mrs. Lion will take it to the extreme and keep it there. If I say I don’t want to continue, my request falls on deaf ears.

I have a theory about this. Bottoms who act like a black hole have not yet felt the level of control they need or they have excess sexual energy that they want to express through bottoming. Realistically, it’s a combination of both. I think it is likely that the bottom himself isn’t aware of how these needs affect him. Time to go back to the lab.

Take me for example. I’ve been talking about needing to feel more control. This can translate into more activity and more severe sensation. I don’t think that solves the control issue. It’s solves another and we will get to that in a few sentences. In my mind, at least, I feel control when I am required to do something I don’t really want to do. The dog collar is a good example. It’s true that I found it hot to have to wear it, but every day until further notice is not so hot. It does, however let me know that even though I wanted this, I don’t get to decide how it is used.

I also feel control when I am disciplined. It isn’t the discipline itself that does it. It’s the consequence it represents. I am told that I must do something (or not do something) and if I fail, on purpose or accidentally, I am punished. The more restrictive my rules, the more controlled I feel. Uh oh! Black hole warning. This could end up as time-consuming micro management.

This is where the top has to be a bit creative. It isn’t the quantity of rules that matters; it’s the effect a rule has on my life. If I appear to be needing more control, then a single rule that forces me to change something I don’t want to change will have massive force on me. After a time, if that rule is lifted, again I feel the control since my lioness has the ability to make my life easier with a wave of her paw.

I have the ability to test control fairly safely as well. Rules like being naked at home and wearing my collar could be broken to test boundaries. I’m not saying I’ve done that — oh no, not me — but I am saying that if I did, my disobedience wouldn’t threaten our relationship but would give Mrs. Lion an opportunity to teach me a strong lesson. Butt sore. Lesson learned, at least for a while. Thus, we have a self-correcting system; painful for me, but self correcting.

As for sensation play, there is a different issue. A reasonable amount of it is fun and sexy. Mrs. Lion is a genius at causing pain and extreme arousal at the same time. Our house is rigged to make bondage easy. That’s important for me since I love it. The black hole situation is when sensation play becomes like a narcotic. The bottom wants more and more. This can wear a top out quickly.

The solution is intensity. If a bottom, namely me, wants more and more activity, it probably means that whatever brain chemistry (Some call it sub space. I disagree in this case. But that’s another post) is invoked by sensation play isn’t being sufficiently stimulated. Whether that is true or not, if sensation play sessions become more intense, it won’t take long for the bottom to realize that he isn’t up to so much sensation so often. The question, “Do you want to do this tomorrow too?” will probably be answered with a resounding, “No. Please, no.” Problem solved.

Every bottom is different. Individual needs, both top and bottom, will cause issues if not met. In the case of a bottom, me, the answer is rarely what I ask for, but actually the need to feel either control or sensation at a higher level. I imagine the same is true of others in my position.

figged maleMrs. Lion and I ventured out and stopped at our local supermarket. There in the produce department was a nice selection of ginger root. Cooking Chinese? Thai? Nope. Figging! Ginger root adds heat to many dishes. Properly prepared, it will provide anal entertainment. Figging has long been used as a punishment and for BDSM play.

Figging is a great example of play with improvised “toys”. In this case, purchase ginger root. Like the one in the picture [right], it has reasonably straight cylindrical parts. The root should be thick enough so you can carve it into a nice butt plug shape. It needs to be wide enough to challenge your bottom’s anus. It needs to be a very tight fit. Thicker is better in this case.

Preparation is easy. Cut the root so that you have at least one fairly straight piece at least five-inches long. If you can get a longer piece, it is better. Next trim the piece to get rid of big nubs. Now take your veggie peeler and remove the skin. Use a knife to give the end a nice rounded shape. Some people actually carve a butt plug shape. The narrower neck of that shape will help retain the ginger. The image [Left] illustrates some nice ginger carving.

If you’re wondering why you are doing this art project, wonder no more. Ginger contains essential oils that produce an intensely hot sensation when applied to sensitive areas of the body like the anus or vagina. See where we are going? When you fig your bottom, you are inserting the peeled and carved ginger where the “sun don’t shine.” The sensations produced are very intense. You may want him restrained. The procedure is simple: Insert the ginger and assure it stays where you put it. Do not use any lube. Take your time if it doesn’t go in easily, but do not use lube.

Within a short time, he will begin to feel an intense burning sensation. He isn’t really being injured. It’s the essential oils at work. The sensation will build and stay very intense for about ten minutes. Depending on the individual the sensation may become intolerable. As the top, you can decide if it needs to come out before the oils are exhausted. It depends on how much of a softie you are.

For figging, ginger improves with age. A couple of weeks in the vegetable compartment of your fridge will intensify the sensation the root will deliver. You may want to buy extra on your shopping trip to experiment with aged root and see how it compares with the fresh product.

Figging can be used as a punishment; in which case you probably won’t remove it until the effect wears off. In any case, once you try it, a trip to the produce department will never been the same.