Mad Lion
Lion is horny. Desperately horny. Last night he asked if it was play with Lion night and when I said yes he was very excited. He was hard almost immediately, despite the fact that he had evil Velcro wrapped around him. I didn’t leave it on long. I had other plans for him.
A few days ago he asked to be teased more often and for longer. Well, I didn’t accommodate the more often part, but I did do it for longer. Actually maybe it wasn’t technically longer. I edged him seven times in fairly rapid succession. I got him very close. And after I let him rest a bit I sucked him. He told me I could put him out of his misery. I could, but I wouldn’t. Instead, I sucked him again. Not to the edge, but enough to get him bucking. And then after a rest, another round of sucking.
When I was finally done with him, he was very frustrated. He told me I have a wonderful mouth. And then when I tried to snuggle with him he told me he loved me, but he was mad. Poor boy. Poor frustrated boy. He has eight more days to go. I think they may be the eight longest days he’s had in a long time. I hope he’ll be on his best behavior. Now he knows I’m not afraid to add time to his wait. His next indiscretion might earn him more than a day.
Today I need to unlock him again to do some manscaping. I’m sure he’ll get a few tugs from me. Maybe some more sucking. He might even get edged a time or two before he gets locked up again. Just to add fuel to the fire.
It Was Your Idea, Wasn’t It?
(Saturday, November 8, 2014) I woke up this morning feeling massively horny. I continue with this unusual level of arousal. It is my fifth day since orgasm. That seems to be the most difficult day for me; at least so far. I haven’t had to wait more than 11 days in a row. This wait is scheduled to be 14 days. Part of this arousal is certainly due to Mrs. Lion’s vastly improved tease and denial, as well as her new attitude toward ignoring my need to come. I haven’t said anything about these feelings to her. She will probably learn about them reading my post.
Over the last few days, Mrs. Lion and I have been posting what amounts to a dialogue about her doing things that she knows are, how shall we say , uncomfortable for me. This includes making me wait longer than I might like, tease and deny, spanking, and other disciplinary activities. Her Saturday post referred to things she doesn’t like but others do. I guess that’s why we have more than one channel on our TV. People like different things. She likes reality cop shows, I like sitcoms. She likes fast food, I like french cooking. That’s part of what makes being with her so much fun. We have very different likes and dislikes.
The Journal is about my enforced male chastity, so we don’t really spend much time writing about music and sushi. Lately, we aren’t spending much time talking about sex either. What we seem to be writing about lately is power exchange in the context of our enforced chastity. Let’s face it, no matter how it manifests, every guy who is locked in a chastity device is playing with power exchange. For me, that’s what makes it so sexy and exciting. I’ve surrendered control of my favorite activity to my keyholder.
The only problem is that she hadn’t considered having that control. Based on my reading and conversations with others practicing power exchange, this isn’t very unusual. It is extremely rare to find a woman who gets turned on having control. In my many decades in the leather community (BDSM in Internet speak), I can count on two hands the number of women are are organic tops ( Def. Organic Top: a person who gets sexual pleasure out of having and using power over another).
Those of us lucky enough to have keyholders, almost always had a relationship with them prior to wanting to be locked up. It’s fair to say that, except for those lucky guys who have a relationship with an organic top , the rest of us have to “train” our keyholders in the fine art of male control. This is particularly hard for most of us, because we have no experience to draw on in our attempt to teach our keyholders their role.
What usually happens is that we play back our chastity fantasies and expect our partners to act them out. This can work for a few hours, even a weekend. But for long term enforced chastity, both the caged male and keyholder have to evolve the power exchange to work for them. Mrs. Lion and I have been at this for almost ten months now. I have been locked up full time with brief opportunities to be out of my cage. I haven’t masturbated since February. Any sexual pleasure I get has come at the hands (and other parts) of Mrs. Lion.
She has worked hard to bring a form of my fantasy to life for me. She also goes to the opera with me and occasionally accompanies me to a sushi restaurant. I couldn’t ask for a better partner. She is my soul mate (sounds corny, but it’s true) and my best friend. If she weren’t, I doubt she would put in the time and energy she does to my enforced chastity. Mrs. Lion still has almost no interest in sex for herself, so the sexual activity has been one way. The one time she teased me, locked me up, and then told me to make her come, stands out as one of our best chastity moments.
Mrs. Lion has struggled with my need for discipline. Make no mistake, over the years she has learned to be a very effective spanker. Unfortunately, she still finds it difficult to do. I think that in time, she will learn to treat it the same way she treats teasing me. She no longer feels badly that I go back in my cage desperate for release. It may even be a little funny to her. After all, I asked for it, didn’t I? Great progress! I think that she may learn to find my squirming under her paddle to be a little funny too. There is an element of humor there. I asked, even begged her to do this to me, and there I am on the bed trying to squirm away from her swats. A bit ironic, no? I think that could end up being pretty amusing for her.
In a way, I am a bit surprised we have kept it up this long. There are times I truly hate enforced chastity. And there are times that Mrs. Lion finds all this too much for her. But she has never even suggested that she wants to stop. When I complain about being so horny and being locked up, she generally looks straight at me and says, “This was your idea, wasn’t it?”
Don’t Think. Just Do.
When Lion and I first started playing I thought perhaps I would have a better understanding of why he wanted what he wanted if he did it to me. He refused because he was sure I’d then want to be a bottom and he wanted to be the bottom. Since I didn’t really want to be tied up or spanked in the first place I let it go. But I still wonder if I would understand him better if I had had the same experiences. However, if sushi and opera are any indication, experiencing it would not make me understand the appeal at all anyway.
At one point he did try electrical stimulation on me. I don’t remember exactly where he put the needles, in the area of the labia but it could have been near the clitoris. In any case, it had no effect. I remember feeling a tingling and then some stabbing pain but no excitement or pleasure. At the time he was somewhat annoyed it didn’t work. The other day when I reminded him of it he said it doesn’t work for everyone. Other than an errant nipple pinch while he was falling asleep and the occasional love tap on the behind, that is the extent of my being on the receiving end of play. I don’t have a need like Lion does to be tied up and spanked, but I do wonder if I’m missing something.
On the other hand, there are millions of people who watch American Idol or Dancing with the Stars. I don’t understand that either. Figure skating. I don’t get it. Am I just perpetually in the dark about things that give others pleasure? Possibly. So perhaps Lion is correct when he says that I just need to do unto him what he wants me to do. Don’t think. Just do.
I need to get meaner or, as he calls it, more strict. I need to understand that he’s asking for it. I am only doing what he wants. What other catch phrases can I use as my mantra? This will hurt me more than it hurts you. No. Maybe not that one.
Do Unto OthersAs They Want You To Do
Thursday night Mrs. Lion did an incredible tease and deny. In her post yesterday, she wrote that she brought me to the edge five times. I couldn’t tell you. I was so caught up in the sensations that I have no idea how long or how many. It felt great and it left me longing for that happy ending that wasn’t going to come. She knows exactly where to rub me to maximize the sensation and she has learned how far to go. The first time or two, she didn’t push me to the very brink of orgasm. But as she continued, she brought me closer and closer. All I could do was groan when she stopped. When she started stimulating me again, it felt like my eyes were rolling back in my head. I was completely consumed by the sensation. She wrote that she only waited a few seconds after each stop. That made a big difference to me. It was like I stayed on the edge of orgasm the entire time. I really wanted to come!
She also wrote that maybe she is “mean” because she was easily able to tease me and deny me. I don’t think of that as mean. She didn’t humiliate me or make me feel small. She was strict. That’s exactly what I asked of her. I’m very happy she has learned to feel good about denying me. Don’t tell her, but I would like to be teased more frequently and for longer. I love this new approach of hers. The golden rule may apply to most things in life, but not to power exchange. I don’t want her doing to me what she would want me to do to her. Not at all! I think she is beginning to realize that on a gut level.
It’s true that she isn’t as strict about discipline. I think it’s because she thinks about how it would make her feel if I treated her the way I want her to treat me. So, it seems natural that she would have trouble “hurting” me because she knows how it would make her feel if I did that to her. I got this insight when we were talking the other night. She expressed that if I edged her, she would be angry and upset. She found it very hard to believe that I like it. Maybe that talk got her thinking about the fact that my feelings about things and hers can be very different, even opposite.
Spanking is a tougher nut to crack. For one thing, I hate it when I am being punished. No endorphin high to make it feel good to me. She knows I hate it. Why, then, would I want her to do it and even do it more and harder? It’s not as irrational as it seems. I want to feel her control. I know that discipline will be very unpleasant — It’s supposed to be. But knowing that I am subject to it and remembering how it made me feel controlled, even owned, is a big turn on to me. It’s how this lion is wired. Even though she doesn’t think so, I see her evolving. She hits harder and gives more swats. Just as with edging, she sees that I am not learning to hate her or think her mean.
The bottom line is that both of us have to learn to live in our roles. We each have growing pains. True, mine are more physically painful, but hers strain her in different ways. I think we love each other more than before we started, if that’s even possible. It just takes patience and effort, and a good swatting arm.
