Sexual Disconnection
We arrived at the campground early yesterday afternoon. Aside from some new problems cropping up in our trailer, it was nice to be out again. As Mrs. Lion pointed out, we have a traveling dungeon, so my bottom and other parts will be treated to both welcome and unwelcome attention. I was late reminding Mrs. Lion that Friday is maintenance spanking day. I told her just after 9pm. Her deadline is 8:30. She reminded me that close only counts in horseshoes. So Monday, our punishment day (or sooner if she wants), I will get a disciplinary spanking. I also irritated her by interrupting a few times as well. She didn’t tell me to make note of these occasions as well. I hope she doesn’t.
While the money situation is desperate now, I have some pretty good prospects for work. In my world, hiring generally requires a “loop,” which is a series of interviews by various managers. The hiring manager was pleased, but another six interviews are needed before a decision can be reached. Getting to this point is a very good sign. The loop will be scheduled for next Wednesday. It will be grueling, but necessary.
Mrs. Lion was too tired for any play on Thursday night. I’m writing this Friday evening and the votes aren’t in on whether or not anything will happen tonight. Lately, the later in the evening it gets, the less interested I am in any sexual activity. It’s not necessarily that I’m tired, but I seem to lose interest as the evening wears on. Mrs. Lion seems to prefer waiting until 10pm. My interest of late is quite low by then. I don’t understand why she wants to wait that long or why my libido declines even when I’m not tired. It’s after nine now and we plan to go out and chat with some friends. That will certainly take it past ten when I have been turning into a sexual pumpkin.
My behavioral changes may be attributable to the financial pressure I am feeling. Mrs. Lion’s distraction and iPad game playing may have the same cause. Technically, I should be sexually available whenever Mrs. Lion wants to play with me. But male sexuality just isn’t that reliable, at least at my age and financial status. She’s been very understanding and hasn’t put any pressure on me to perform. Regardless, I feel pretty unhappy about the loss of sexual pleasure, especially when it is offered to me.
I’m hoping that when we get more rest this weekend that we can enjoy whatever sexual fun Mrs. Lion wants. I miss the activity and arousal. Here I am, a cage-free lion, with a penis that isn’t performing. I need us to feel good enough to play and enjoy one another. Feeling close with my lioness is much more important to me than anything else. I fear that the anxiety I have caused her by being out of work has pushed her deep into her shell and has affected my ability to perform. We have to fix this, job or no job. I’ll do my best to help; hopefully before ten PM.
Finally!
We both slept last night! Of course, we both want to sleep more, and might have if the dog hadn’t decided it was time to wake up. But after not sleeping well for a while, we’re finally more rested.
Today we are off on another adventure. We have a lot to do to get ready so this will be quick. Lion has been wild since Wednesday night. If I unlock him on Wednesday I usually leave him unlocked because Thursday is generally busy trying to get ready. I know I’ll be preoccupied and the last thing I want to have to remember is to unlock him. Not that he wouldn’t remind me. But in a rush it’s one more thing to do.
Lion likes to remind me he’s wild. He teases that he could get in all sorts of trouble. I like to remind him that he better not. I have paddles. I also have the cage, which he wears at my pleasure. If he gets into trouble perhaps he doesn’t deserve to wear it. That’s extreme, of course. I would only threaten that in jest.
Okay. Off to get ready for the trip. The next post will be riverside.
Whose Cage Is It Anyway?
The typical fantasy about enforced chastity is that the keyholder obtains and then locks a chastity device on her male. In real life this just doesn’t happen. Enforced chastity and orgasm control is almost always initiated by the male. Sometimes the couple selects and orders the chastity device together. More often, the guy orders it. In a lot of cases, the guy is responsible for locking and unlocking and removing the device. The keyholder retains the key and gives it to him when she wants him to take it off. In other cases, like ours, Mrs. Lion removes and puts on my cage. She lets me remove and replace the base ring, but I never touch the cage. This may seem like an unimportant distinction, but I think it can make a big difference.
If the male is the one who puts on, takes off, and stores the device, there is a tacit sense of ownership. He may be obeying orders to put it on or remove it, but it remains in his possession. That doesn’t automatically mean that he believes he is in control of his chastity, but it is an assumption it is easy to make. The other side of this is that the keyholder doesn’t demonstrate ownership of the chastity device. She may unconditionally own his orgasms and arousals, but she is indirectly saying that the cage is a device he can use to support his orgasm control.
This may seem like nit picking, but I don’t think it is. For a lot of guys, just wearing a chastity device that they can’t remove is very hot. It affects me that way. It’s bondage that can be in place 24/7. It forcibly prevents me from arousal or sexual activity. I have no say in it. The cage is implacable. That’s hot. The keyholder may not see it that way at all. She may wholeheartedly adopt orgasm control, but she may not find the chastity device particularly exciting. To her, it may just be a tool to keep her male honest. Or, she might think of it as something he wants to do. She accepts the control of his sexuality, but doesn’t strongly associate that control with the chastity device. She expects her male to keep hands and other things off, device or not.
That brings me to the most important point: If you were the keyholder, how would you feel about controlling a guy who requires an escape-proof cage in order for him to stay chaste? I know I wouldn’t like it a bit. Since enforced chastity is a power exchange, the person who has the power doesn’t usually want a new career policing the submissive. Mrs. Lion expects me to be obedient; especially in terms of enforced chastity. Caged or not, I know that I can’t arouse myself or get off. She owns my penis and my sexuality. Locked or not, that’s true.
For us the cage is important; not because it assures I won’t masturbate, but because it is an unmistakable symbol that she owns my sexuality. The fact that the cage prevents me from taking any sexual action reminds her that she needs to stay aware of my needs and provide the stimulation she feels is appropriate. As long as I am locked up, she knows I absolutely depend on her. That knowledge helps her sustain the effort she needs to put in. I like to be locked up. The bondage aspect turns me on. The cage also reminds me that I have to ask for any sexual release. It also reminds me of our FLM and that I need to ask for pretty much everything. I truly like the bondage aspect. It is very arousing for me to feel helpless. That’s why I love it when Mrs. Lion ties me to the bed.
I’m currently wild (uncaged). Mrs. Lion has unlocked me for the trip we are beginning today. She does it because it is awkward and messy for me to pee (even sitting) in the RV. She also likes the easier access on vacation. I don’t miss the cage right now, but by the middle of next week when we return I will be more than ready to return to it. The cage is clearly hers. I don’t put it on or take it off. She maintains custody when it is off. I do clean it and I put on and take off the base ring, at least for now. If she is willing, I would like her to handle that too.
Good News, Bad News
Lion’s interviews went very well yesterday. Actually there were two and a half interviews. He’s excited about the first job and conflicted about the second. The second job is more difficult, with a department no one likes, and several people have already walked off the job. Forewarned is forearmed, but does he really want the hassle? Still, it is a job and he needs one desperately. Needless to say, his mind was elsewhere when I tried to play with him. He always feels so bad when he’s not in the mood for play. He apologizes and asks if it’s ok that we not play. Of course it is. I know he loves when I touch him, whether he gets excited or not. If he tells me he doesn’t want me touching him at all is when we’ll have a problem. Unless, of course, it’s because he doesn’t feel well.
We were both pretty exhausted last night. Neither of us has been sleeping well. About an hour after we went to bed we were awake again. Lion’s allergies were bothering him, along with my snoring. Yes, I snore. I think if people were honest, they’d admit that everyone snores now and then. When I first slept over, Lion snored so loudly he rattled the windows. And I still wanted to be with him. Anyway, when he tells me he can’t sleep because of my snoring I try not to snore. The only way not to snore is not to fall asleep soundly. As a result, neither of us slept well again. When the alarm went off I got up to make breakfast. Lion didn’t eat with me. He asked what was for breakfast, decided it wasn’t exciting, and went back to sleep. I got ready as quietly as I could, kissed his shoulder so I wouldn’t disturb him and went to work. I wish I could have stayed home to sleep. I feel like a zombie. I know eventually I will be so tired I have no choice but to pass out. I’m hoping that happens tonight. I also hope Lion gets the rest he needs. And finally, I hope he gets some good news on the job front.
I suppose I could be a bitch about things and not let lack of sleep and the job hunt interfere with our sex life. I could demand he be ready for me when I decide to play. I think it would be a little different if I wanted the orgasms. It wouldn’t matter if he was horny or not. He could just service me. But I’m not. It’s a little difficult to demand he get hard. The truth is, life intrudes all the time. Whether it’s illness or money or work or kids, life will find a way to sap your fun. The trick is to balance it out. Given the amount and severity of our financial issues right now, I think we’ve been doing a great job of maintaining any sort of sex life.
