Mrs. Lion and I have just returned from a weekend away. As you may recall, she wrote about her new goal of more lion play. On Saturday night I got a nice spanking. She made my cheeks rosy red, she said. I can’t really see. They felt red and hot! She followed that with some nice teasing. One thing though: after she had edged me a bit, I told her I really didn’t feel like coming. Gasp! Did he really say that? Yuppers, I did. I just didn’t feel that familiar urgency. Mrs. Lion said, “Good thing. I wasn’t going to let you come, anyway.”
I’m not sure why my horniness wasn’t up to its usual level. After my erection subsided, she had me put the ring on and she locked me back up. Sunday night we just went to bed and to sleep. So, I have been orgasm-free since last Thursday night. It’s only four days, so it isn’t inconceivable that I might not be in the mood, just out of character. I am excited by Mrs. Lion’s goal of more playing including anal stretching. She had the mini-lion casting with her when we traveled (in her travel toy bag), but we didn’t do any anal play. We were both tired so I think that may have slowed down her progress. I’m sure she will pick up where she left off.
I did ask her about her plans. We have two anal projects: one is to work me up to the huge Njoy 2.0 butt plug. The other is to get me relaxed enough to accept her hand. The second requires increasing time with thicker and thicker dildos. We have a nice collection, so she has the tools. I’m sure she will report her progress. I will also let you know from the receiver’s point of view. Funny thing, writing this has made me horny. Maybe I am in the mood after all. I wonder if Mrs. Lion is too.
At times, mostly when standing at a urinal, I ask myself why I want to be locked up? It comes up then because, unlike when I am wild, I have to take my entire package out of my pants before I can pee. You are probably thinking that this isn’t a very big deal. No, it isn’t. But at this point it is the only time in my day-to-day life I have any real awareness of my cage. It fits perfectly and I really don’t know it is there almost all the time. At night I am only aware of it if I am awake and trying to get hard. At those times, I like that it is there because it is preventing me from unauthorized sexual activity.
I decided to write about this because it is a fair question. In my fantasy I wear this cage because I have to. My keyholder, Mrs. Lion, insists that I am locked all the time. In fact, I am pretty sure she would unlock me if I asked her. So the gap between my chastity fantasy and my idea of reality is the level of control I actually have over my lockup. Mrs. Lion and I discussed this very issue. I suggested that saying I want to be locked for life is probably unrealistic. It’s not really possible to make a decision that far reaching. I said that I wanted to make it long enough that I would feel her control but not an unrealistic time. So I proposed that I must stay locked up until June of 2016. Mrs. Lion agreed. Of course, we had the usual exceptions: illness, medical visits, metal detectors, irritation, etc. for brief freedom.
So why would I imagine that I could ask for my freedom and get it? I think it may be due to my belief that Mrs. Lion may not really hold me to our deal. I don’t want to test this. That wouldn’t be fair to my lioness. This is a typical power exchange catch 22: you can’t know you have no choice unless you challenge your top, but if you challenge your top you hurt her feeling of confidence or make her think you resent her control. This comes up all the time in BDSM. The only non-destructive way to assert this control is for the top to do some activity that clearly goes past the bottom’s current wishes. We are in tricky territory again since our keyholder/top doesn’t want to force a safeword or cross a limit. However, activities like spanking are really easy to push past the bottom’s desire to be spanked. Each time control is asserted in a way like this, the bottom feels the control of the top. It’s ironic that this sort of thing is needed. After all, the top is usually performing all this stuff at the request of the bottom.
My wish to be caged is an expression of my desire that Mrs. Lion is in sexual control. As a top it can be confusing for the keyholder. After all, she is doing what her caged male wants, why would he resist? This goes back to something I mentioned in a previous post: males and females react differently to control situations. Submissive or bottoming females generally work hard to be compliant. They generally want to be “good girls”. There are exceptions, but this general case is true much of the time. Males, at least this one, want to be forced. We want to feel the power of our top/keyholder. That provides much of the comfort of control. There are many exceptions to this. But at least some of the time, we want to know that we have no choice. That is the deepest meaning of control.
Our cages represent that sort of control. We want cages that we can’t defeat. Some males want to test their chastity devices to the extreme. Usually, they end up buying a lot of devices since most can be defeated if you are determined enough. So, most of us compromise. We recognize it is possible to get out, but it is difficult and inconvenient. It takes enough time and effort for us to think better of escape. That’s good enough for most.
So, if I say I want to get out, at the time I may want that more than anything in the world. But, even though I am desperate, unless my reason is one that Mrs. Lion feels is reasonable, I need her to refuse. In fact, the more urgent my need, the more control I feel when she says no. So, the answer to the question, “Do I really want to do this?” is “It doesn’t matter, you are doing it until June 2016 at the least!”
A beautiful, charcoal-broiled steak features grill marks where the hot grill add extra browning to the meat. In similar fashion, the pressure of the cage against the head of my penis leaves its own grill marks on me. This used to happen as a result of getting a chubby inside my too-large cage. Since I am guaranteed to get at least one every day as part of my male systems exercising at night, I always had grill marks when Mrs. Lion freed me. Now, with the smaller cage, the marks are more pronounced and don’t depend on a chubby to make them. While very visible, these marks are not painful at all and are not harmful. A reasonable time out of the cage, especially if I am allowed to get hard will make them fade and eventually disappear. At first these marks disturbed me since they didn’t go away immediately. But I have learned that they are harmless and are, in fact, a badge that I was caged. So, like a fine steak, my weenie has the mark of a great chef, Mrs. Lion.
I always get a smile out of reading “reviews” of chastity devices by males who have been locked up all of an hour or two. Some even write reviews without putting it on. Any of us who have been caged for more than a week or two have learned that being in forced chastity requires some changes in our day-to-day lives.
The most significant for me turned out to be underpants. For years I wore Ex Officio briefs. I love these. They are made of a breathable, synthetic blend that wicks moisture away from the body, never smells, and can be hand washed and air dried overnight. Once caged, I discovered that these briefs offered no visual protection for my cage and the rather slippery nature of the fabric allowed them to bind up uncomfortably around my balls. I had noticed this problem before. Once on a long flight to Europe, they made me miserable in the sticky airline seat. I immediately felt the problem with my cage.
I also worried that the cage might cause drips after peeing to get to my outer pants and make an embarrassing wet spot. I realized that I need both absorbancy and padding. After a lot of research I found Wearever Mens Incontenence Briefs. If you ignore the word “incontinence” you will find that these look like ordinary cotton underpants. They are very comfortable and the padding (absorbent layer) provides good camouflage for any cage-shaped bumps that might appear. I really like them. I have worn them in semi-public, at the doctor’s office where that was all I had on. No one noticed. I’ve found that with the cage I actually drip less than when I am wild. Go figure! However, the padding improves the look under clothes and feels very comfortable. The cotton-like fabric doesn’t slip around like my Ex Officio’s, so I am way more comfortable sitting.
Another important change I’ve had to make is with peeing. Before I got the shortened Jail Bird cage, my urethra would end up anywhere but where it needed to be for me to have a nice, clean stream. As a result, I ended up soaking my pants a couple of times at work and had to go home to change. After this happened a couple of times I realized I had to pee sitting down. I had no idea this would involve a learning curve, but in fact, in the beginning I couldn’t manage to fully empty my bladder. After a few days my body learned to pee sitting and I was back to normal.
I really sympathize with women. Having to sit on a toilet in a public bathroom is an adventure at best and disgusting most of the time. I actually cut down on drinking water and other beverages to avoid those public bathroom trips. My shortened cage has solved this problem. I can now pee standing up. Of course, it isn’t as simple as it is when I am wild. I have to take my cock and balls out since the Jail Bird presses my penis down against my balls. I have to aim the entire package and pull my balls back to avoid soaking them. It took a bit of practice, but now I have no trouble at all.
The other adjustment I needed to make was managing my balls. That may sound silly, but the base ring of my cage keeps my balls front and center. When I am wild, they are able to move into the background and stay out of the way. The base ring forces them forward, directly under my penis. I have to “adjust” myself more now to assure that I don’t end up sitting on them or otherwise pinching or hurting myself. Sound horrible? It’s not. Just one more thing to learn.
My point is that being caged isn’t as simple as buying a device, putting it on, and giving the key away. Guys that imagine this is the case will get ugly surprises as the challenges of being caged surface. A lot of the stuff I like has to do with me surrendering control and getting disciplined, teased, and played with. I didn’t imagine I would need new underpants, had to learn to pee again, keep my balls out of the way, and deal with those grill marks. Now that it is nearly six months of full time forced chastity, I think most of the adjustments are behind me and I can just enjoy the ride.
(Friday, July 18 2014) Last night, as she wrote in her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion surprised me with a nice orgasm. I had no idea she was going to make me come. She was edging me and out of the blue asked if I wanted to come. I really thought it was a trick question and she would say, “Too bad, you can’t.” Bur no, she just went ahead and gave me a nice orgasm. What a treat! She had me eat the result, of course, but luckily there wasn’t much. She asked me if I did that on purpose. I laughed and said, “I wish!”
That was a nice surprise. Later in her post, she warned me that she was going to be much more active with the stuff I love to hate: spanking, anal penetration, and cock and ball torture. She said that these were the lazy days of summer and she hasn’t felt much like being that active. I share her sense of the season. I haven’t felt any particular yearning to have things up my ass. My horniness has also been lower than usual. I don’t know why. Maybe my lowered interest is sensed by Mrs Lion, or maybe the lack of activity temporarily lulls me. I don’t know.
I do know that the shock collar was out this morning. I expect that Mrs. Lion will have me wear it this weekend. She may even use it. I’ll let you know. The new, shortened cage is still very comfortable. My original irritation was probably due to some urine getting between my penis and scrotum. That can easily happen with my Jail Bird if I drip a bit and don’t wait long enough to let it all hit the toilet (I know, more information than you need). In any case, the shorter cage is dong everything it should and the base ring is just the right size. I don’t think it is much smaller than the one that got lost. It’s fine. I am comfortable day and night.
In reading the various male chastity forums, I keep seeing references to discomfort caused by base rings. The forum denizens, advise males to use various lubes to deal with this problem. I completely disagree. If a base ring is causing irritation, remove the cage and let it heal. Consider getting a larger ring or changing the entire device. Plastic (like CB6000, etc.) rings tend to cause more irritation than stainless steel. Silicone can be comfortable, but likes to stick and then when finally moved, irritate. Whatever the cause, don’t just put lube on. Skin likes to be dry most of the time. Find another chastity device or get a larger ring. Just my experience.
Another weekend about to start with Mrs. Lion making plans for me. It is exciting to know something is coming. Stay tuned.