Poor Lion
Lion asked if I’d be writing a “poor Lion” post for today. He didn’t get his scheduled orgasm last night. And I decided every night should be maintenance spanking night, except punishment nights. We both need more practice with spanking. I guess that qualifies as a “poor Lion” event.
Actually, he didn’t seem all that horny so I decided he’ll have to wait until he’s a little more desperate. He asked if he had to wait until the next scheduled date. He doesn’t know when that is anyway, but I told him we’d take it a day at a time. I’ll know when he’s ready. It may be today. It may be a week from now. If I can’t even get him to the point of edging him then he can’t be very horny anyway and, therefore, does not deserve a “poor Lion” label. That’s for when I’ve frustrated him beyond any limit he ever wanted to cross and a gentle breeze will push him over the top. Nope. He’s nowhere near that now.
He may very well be frustrated that he’s not so horny, but that’s another matter. We need to regroup and get back to that point. We’ve lapsed into a mini play-coma lately. It’s gotten routine and boring. Last night, a while after his maintenance swats, I had him roll over and gave him some play swats. Tonight, I’ve alluded to the fact that he may be in his collar with his hands restrained to it. If we can find his collar. We haven’t used it in a while and we’re not exactly sure where it is. Not to worry. If we don’t find it, I have other ideas.
Chastity Theater
Mrs. Lion discovered that my recent lack of libido was due to nothing more complex than boredom. I think she was right. Bored with what? Being locked up? Edged? Given orgasms? The answer is no to all the above. Again, as my lioness correctly diagnosed, bored with the process.
We had fallen into a pattern of unlocking the device, stimulating me by hand or orally and then locking me up again. Sometimes there were some painful clothespins in the process and on occasion my balls were tied up. There’s nothing to complain about at all. But then last weekend, Mrs. Lion took me down to our dungeon and put me in the sling. She figged me and got me off. I was hard almost before I got into the sling.
Let’s face it, enforced chastity like most power exchanges is more theater than reality. Don’t believe me? Well, I’m locked in a device that would be very hard to escape and if I did, Mrs. Lion would find out and there would be terrible consequences. That’s theater. The fact is that I carry a key to the device and can get out any time. Yes, she will discover it if I use that key. But will the world end? No, not at all. She may punish me severely, but that’s theater too. She has absolutely no worry that I will have sex or masturbate without her. But enforced chastity wouldn’t be “enforced” without physical restraint.
The same is true about other power exchanges. The fantasy and my belief in them is what makes them work. Yes, a spanking from Mrs. Lion really hurts…a lot. But she is only spanking me because she knows that’s what I want. I accept it in the belief that she is wielding her power over me. That’s what makes it exciting.
My point is that in order for any of this to really work, we both have to play roles. We understand the underlying reality, but we choose to suspend belief in that and instead, believe the power exchange. It’s not what she does, but how she plays her role that keeps things exciting.
Some keyholders and caged males will argue that the FLR and enforced chastity is real. It isn’t role playing. I disagree. The power exchange is real in terms of who locks what up and who makes decisions. But the power exchange is consensual. The caged male can decide to stop any or all of it and that is what has to happen. Doing so may have real world consequences in terms of the relationship, but the power exchange is truly consensual.
The better the keyholder understands the importance of the theater, the more effectively she will play her role. For example, there is a big difference between, “You broke a rule. Turn over for your spanking.” and instead at dinner,
“You know you did XXX wrong, don’t you?”
“Yes, Maam.”
“Do you know what will happen after dinner?”
“You will spank me?”
“Yes. You’ve been naughty.”
The conversation can be more elaborate, but you get the point. It’s the dialogue that serves the power exchange as much as the painful spanking. Effective top/bottom dialogue has a magic way of converting routine play into strongly anticipated events.
In the case of power exchange, words are at least as strong as actions. It’s fine for the caged male or disciplined husband to forget that this is theater. But when his keyholder / disciplining wife forgets, things don’t go as well.
Prioritizing
As I’m working today, I’m trying to prioritize things. Which stack of papers needs to be dealt with first. Which stack can wait till tomorrow. And I realized that along with prioritizing things at work, I need to prioritize things at home. We’ve lapsed into a sort of a slump again. With winter coming and the dark commute, it’s easy to be fooled that it’s later than it is. By 8 o’clock I’m thinking it’s time for bed. I need to put playing first again.
This morning, Lion said he woke up hard. Yay! I said we’ll have to see if Mr. Weenie wants to come out and play tonight. Then, as I was thinking about it getting dark early, I had a funny thought. Well, I think it’s funny. Lion may not think so. I was thinking we should play earlier in the evening – sort of an early bird special, which I thought I might tease Lion about because he’s older than I am. Anyway, I thought it was amusing. I could even make up some coupons for early bird specials.
There is really nothing that keeps us from playing earlier. We’ve just developed a rhythm of dinner, tv, play, sleep, rinse and repeat. But, like all rhythms, they can become old quickly. Sometimes you need to spice things up. I’m not talking about adding different play. We’re fairly spicy as it is. I mean playing at 7 instead of 9. Maybe a no-TV night. Maybe a mid-week dungeon visit. Just a change thrown in to keep things more interesting.
Not Horny? Wait Longer!
Yesterday I felt regular twinges of desire; nothing specific, but interest nonetheless. I realize that tomorrow is my scheduled orgasm date. I suspect I will be up to the challenge. The only question is how enthusiastically I will react. On Sunday, Mark left this comment:
I think you need to lock lion up for a month with no orgasm. maybe some t&d. but he gets to cum too often.
Mrs. Lion indirectly referenced it yesterday in her post. Mark brings up a fairly common misapprehension about enforced chastity. Unless you’ve actually done it, you probably think that the more time spent unable to orgasm, the more desperate the need to cum. Therefore, if waiting a week doesn’t produce the required amount of desire, waiting longer will increase desire. That is absolutely untrue, at least for me. Even with daily teasing, after a point my interest will fade.
It turns out that we males are more sexually complex than we think. Before enforced chastity I always assumed that the longer I go without an orgasm the more I will want one. It didn’t take long once I was locked up for me to find out that all those years I was wrong. As I’ve written before, my desire follows a predictable pattern. My interest in orgasm declines as time goes by. Regular teasing by my lioness keeps the flame alive, but it can’t prevent it from getting down to a flicker eventually.
I also learned that despite the wait times, teasing, and other stuff, my interest can fade for no apparent reason. I’ve always thought it was a biological cycle. I think it might be. What surprised me on Sunday is that this cycle can be interrupted; not by teasing but by another activity that I find very arousing. In my case it was being tied into the sling and then figged. Just thinking about the proceedings made me ready to get hard as soon as Mrs. Lion touched my penis. So, to some degree Mrs. Lion was right. I was bored by our routine. I didn’t realize it, but she did.
The prescription for my loss of interest was a bit of S/M. Kinky lion.
