A Calmer, Gentler Lion
Sometimes I’m not sure if I should be pushing Lion or not. He’s been having some trouble lately. Since he’s cold, he’s been spending a lot of time under the blankets. He seems to be getting more and more sarcastic, making comments about people on TV. At certain points, he hasn’t been interested in sex. He seems less than interested in other things too. I’m not sure any of it is related, but I wonder if it’s up to me to snap him out of it. Not the cold part, of course, but the sarcasm and lack of interest in sex. Do I put my foot down? Can I whomp the sarcasm out of him?
I’m sure a lot of key holders out there are saying, “Absolutely! Punish him! Go get him!” I just don’t know. What if there are underlying causes for his behavior? “So what? Whomp him anyway! Show him who’s boss!” What if he’s upset about something? “He needs to learn to behave.” Good talk.
It still bothers me. I worry that it’s not my place to tell anybody how to behave. Lion just rolled his eyes, I can feel it. I know he wants nothing more than for me to take charge and tell him when he’s wrong. But what if he’s not wrong? What if it’s me who’s wrong? What if the people on the news are morons? What if the people camping out for a week to see the new Star Wars film are idiots? What if the people covered in body paint at the football game are dumb as a box of rocks? But, no. They may think he’s a moron for having his penis locked up. What kind of idiot would do that? Rather than punish him, I try to turn it around on him. I guess it’s not surprising that it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I do need to get out my whomping stick. Or at the very least, tell him what the problem is and if it persists, I’ll be forced to get out the whomping stick. Subtlety is sometimes lost on Lion.
It’s time to create a calmer, gentler Lion. At home, at least. I know he needs to growl at work. Maybe he needs a muzzle at home. I threatened him with a ball gag last week. Maybe it needs to be more than a threat. Poor Lion.
Same Old
Saturday night after I came, Mrs Lion locked me up again, and here in my cage I remain. We had no sexual time on Sunday. That was fine with me. For whatever reason, both my libido and interest in sensation play remain low. My interest in pleasing Mrs. Lion is as high as ever. Yesterday, there was what I believe to be an omen of our power exchange future: Mrs. Lion found my old, red collar tucked away in a drawer unopened in years. I haven’t checked with her about it, but it feels to me that wearing a collar again is in my near future.
The new, purple collar bothers me after wearing it for a while. I don’t think I ever successfully slept in one. The edge, even of a soft, nylon collar digs into my neck or jaw. I didn’t think I would ever wear a chastity device 24/7 and look at me now. I’ve learned to never say “never”. If Mrs. Lion wants me to learn to do something, I somehow learn. I’m sure she’ll keep us posted on her plans.
I’ve been tired and grumpy for days now. Part of it was unnecessary worry about my job. But that cause went away on Friday morning. I went to the doctor Friday and he has me taking a new antihistamine. Perhaps that has something to do with my mood. I’ll contact him and ask. Meantime, I feel chilly, grumpy, and tired. I need a lot more hugs right now. This is the sort of time that others pull away from writing and wait for something important to say. I don’t think I ever say anything particularly important. I do think the aggregate of my writing over the last two years is an accurate picture of lion in power-exchange land.
I still don’t feel submissive or docile. I want to, but I don’t. That doesn’t mean I am not under Mrs. Lion’s control. It does mean I have way too much input, largely because our relationship is more a partnership than Mrs. Lion’s dictatorship. Neither of us want that to change. The transfer of power moves much slowly than I expected. The transfer is occuring; gradually but at a steady pace. Often neither of us are aware of it. But every so often I find my will subsumed by my lioness. At the time I am startled and feel like fighting back. After a moment’s reflection I realize what is happening and I smile.
Sometimes we make it seem that adding enforced chastity to our relationship is pretty easy. Sometimes we forget how much we struggled to incorporate it into our lives. In about three weeks we will celebrate our second chastiversary. OK, I know that is corny. But the passage of time isn’t. When we first began we agreed to review whether or not we want to continue in March 2016. It was very far away in January 2014. Now it is barely three months away. I have no plan to review being locked up. I don’t think Mrs. lion has one either. Enforced chastity is now part of our relationship and who we are. Same old…
Mind Over Matter
The days tend to blend in together around here. I can’t remember when things happen. I think it was Friday when Lion got a package in the mail. Since we couldn’t find his leather collar or his red nylon collar, he’d ordered a purple nylon collar with his name on it. He also ordered a matching tag. He wore it for a few hours Friday night. In the past he’s had to wear it whenever he is home. He’s even had to sleep in it. And I remember at least one time making him wear it to the store. At this point, he needs to get used to it again so I’m not making him wear it for very long.
Last night, Lion was difficult to arouse again. He asked if we could wait till today for his orgasm. I said we could. Then he said maybe we could try later. Also okay. After about an hour he wanted to snuggle. My hands were wandering while we snuggled and Mr. Weenie seemed to be waking up so I asked if he’d like to try again. Apparently the snuggling did it. When I got him fully aroused I was debating whether I should edge him a few times or just go for gold. Given his false starts lately, I didn’t dare push my luck. Lion said there wasn’t very much semen but that could be because I didn’t edge him. It may also be because he had a ruined orgasm the other night. I told him it didn’t mean he was broken. He disagreed. He doesn’t know why he’s having so much trouble lately. I think I might know.
First of all, he worries about things a lot. I understand he’s worried about his job, but sometimes he does it when he doesn’t have to. Second of all, he worries that he’s broken a lot. If he keeps thinking he’s broken then it stands to reason that he will be broken. Mind over matter. If you keep thinking, “I hope I’m not broken. I hope I’m not broken” then it’s easy to psych yourself out and be broken. Lion is not broken. He’s a worrywart. Stop stressing yourself out, man!
Here’s a tip that worked for me when I still cared about sex. If I was having trouble getting to the promised land (as Lion puts it), I would stop thinking “when the hell is this orgasm ever going to happen” and start thinking “this man will do anything for me and I’m so lucky to have him”. It sounds corny, but it worked. Lion just needs to think about how wonderful I am. Shouldn’t he always?
The Accidental Dominant
Here it is Sunday morning. Really, it is Saturday night now. I will be asleep when this publishes. So far my interest in sex hasn’t returned. I am still uncaged. I’m hoping the sexual sun will come out later. I wasn’t even interested in sensation play. Mrs. Lion is confident my interest will return soon. I’m hoping it will be very soon, like before we go to sleep tonight. If not, she assures me that she will try again tomorrow. Stay tuned for her post.
We spent a lot of Saturday shopping for household stuff. Later today I will be making some mushroom beef barley soup and maybe a batch of marinara sauce. It’s been about 50 degrees F and raining all day. In fact, it’s been raining all week. We are on a mountainside so we haven’t had any flooding, but travel and going outside is annoying and chilly. Hence the need to make some soup to warm us.
I appreciate Mrs. Lion’s efforts to be the dominant member of our marriage. It’s contrary to her nature to be in charge. My original expectations were unfair to say the least. I presented her the idea of enforced chastity and later FLR. She immediately agreed to both Fortunately, I asked for enforced chastity first. It took her a long time to grow into her role. She still is a bit of a softy, but she has made mammoth strides. Yesterday afternoon, for example, I interrupted her as we were walking into the supermarket. When we got home, she got out her mean wooden spoon, had me turn over, and administered a very painful spanking. I wasn’t good about it. I tried to roll over a couple of times. She made me turn over and continued. That’s progress.
I sometimes worry that I an taking advantage of Mrs. Lion’s good nature. I know that she isn’t really interested in a dominant role. She has had to struggle to handle assuming the role as keyholder and disciplinarian. I know she is doing it out of love for me. I feel selfish. It’s unlikely she will suddenly enjoy her role. At best, she accepts it. Since we are almost at the two year mark in enforced chastity, I know she isn’t going to quit as keyholder or my loving lioness. I’m very grateful for that. I’m also sure that she has sufficiently assumed her role to keep me locked up permanently. Well, she does let me out for play, doctors’ visits, and “just because”. There aren’t many nights I go to sleep with nothing locked around my penis. We both agree that is the way things should be for us. And so they are.
