A great deal of what you read about enforced chastity talks about the transition into this new sexual state. Most of the attention is focused on devices, security, comfort, need to ejaculate, etc. It’s like much of the stuff you read online. The most words are written by people who have just discovered or tried whatever they are writing about.
Months ago, I stopped thinking about how my cage fits and whether or not I can pull out. In place of that stuff, I am thinking more and more about how enforced chastity affects our relationship. Mrs. Lion’s sexual motor isn’t running yet. Everything she writes is about my sexual frustration and satisfaction. Where is her pleasure? In the excitement of my fantasy coming true, it was easier to avoid asking that question. But as enforced chastity becomes our way of life, I can’t keep pushing that into the background.
It’s not just me. I think it is many of us. Mrs. Lion’s life hasn’t changed all that much. Well, it has in terms of her spending a lot more time thinking, writing, and doing things involving my chastity. She plans activities that she knows I want (if not like). She gives and gives, and gives. She gets exactly as much sex as she wants. She always did. I do my best to take care of her and give her everything she wants. I did that before getting caged. We had a happy marriage. We still do but with more work for Mrs. Lion. That makes me feel guilty.
This feeling isn’t provoked by anything Mrs. Lion has said or done. It’s there because I don’t feel that I am doing anything in return for all this extra attention. The problem with guilt is that it can cause behavior changes that are pretty destructive. One classic change is that the guilty party withdraws to avoid feeling more guilt. This is incredibly destructive. It’s like throwing gifts away because you feel badly that you don’t have one to return that is of equal value.
Another behavior is to reciprocate with unwelcome gifts of your own. Consider the very stereotypical scenario where a guy is caged and then puts all his sexual energy into getting his keyholder off all the time. That’s great if she wants that. But does she? Many times people won’t be honest about sexual things. She might be feeling guilty that you are guilty about not getting her off enough, so she goes along. This happens a lot.
Dealing with this, I think, requires a lot of communication. I have to be brave enough to keep asking Mrs. Lion if she feels she is doing too much. I need her to be honest when she answers. If she ends up agreeing that she is giving too much then we have to work together to see if there are ways to make both of us happy. If not, then I have to be prepared to give up some or all of my enforced chastity fantasy.
The reason I feel guilt is that Mrs. Lion means more to me than anything in the world. There is nothing I wouldn’t give up or change to make her happy. This has nothing at all to do with her authority as my keyholder and even less to do with my cage. It is all about where she stands in my life. She comes first. She always has and she always will.
Lion is able to work from home today. His office is near a mall so making his way past the Black Friday shoppers would have been impossible. I am lucky enough to have four days off. It’s nice to have a long weekend with Lion.
On Wednesday he almost missed his window for contacting me. As you may recall, he must send some sort of message to me each workday before noon. The other day my email came at 11:50. Very close! While I was waiting I made a decision. I know he’s been very busy at work. He would have a valid reason for not finding time to email me. But I decided that if he missed the deadline he should still receive a punishment. However, his swats would not have been as hard as usual.
I thought it was important to maintain some sort of punishment even if he has a good excuse. Of course, I didn’t need to do it since my pet followed instructions. But now he knows there will be consequences even with a valid excuse. And I’m proud of myself for this. Usually I look for any excuse not to follow through on a punishment. Maybe I am evolving.
I cooked the Thanksgiving dinner. I generally do feasts. As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, she invited a coworker to dinner. I think that’s great. We had plenty of food and it was fun to sit down to a huge dinner. We had turkey, stuffing of course, a potato dish which is a “layer cake” of mashed white potatoes and mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, and biscuits. We had several kinds of pie available for desert. Way too much food. But that’s fine. I love Thanksgiving leftovers. If you celebrate this holiday, I hope you shared a feast with people you care for.
One thing we did yesterday was to clean the house and rearrange the living room. I know, not a chastity activity, but one that brought us both real satisfaction. Wednesday night was my orgasm night and the memory lingers tauntingly at the edge of my mind. It was wonderful. As Mrs. Lion said yesterday, it’s wonderful being married to your best friend. She takes wonderful care of me and indulges my kinky nature.
What more could an old lion ask! I am very happy that she is now very much her own lioness. She has learned to not give me a vote in what happens sexually. That’s not entirely true. I don’t get a vote, but she listens to me. If, for example, it is orgasm night and I am just tired and grumpy. I can ask to postpone and I am very sure she will. She may not move it to the next day. She might just move it to my next scheduled orgasm date. That’s a risk I have to accept.
Orgasms, by the way, are becoming a bit less important to me. It’s true that I get massively horny and desperate for them. But I am starting to enjoy the teasing and being horny nearly as much as finally squirting. Don’t get the idea that I will ever not want one. But I am having more fun between orgasms. Progress?
Lion and I worked our buns off to get the house and dinner ready tonight. Yesterday I invited one of my coworkers to share our Thanksgiving dinner since her plans had fallen through. The house was not ready for a guest. Between us we got the house clean. I’m thankful we work so well together.
I don’t have enough space here nor words to describe how thankful I am to have Lion in my life. Not just because he agreed to a last minute guest. He does so much for me. It’s true, I have made some big changes to make his chastity fantasy come true. But he puts up with me. That’s a much harder job.
I’m thankful that I married my best friend. I’m thankful we get along so well. And we really would do anything for each other. Having been in a much different marriage before, I can tell you that I’d much rather have Lion’s kinkiness than be fighting all the time. I prefer beating his sexy buns to walking on eggshells.
I’m sure we’ll both be too tired to play tonight. He even said earlier that he was glad last night was orgasm night. But tomorrow night we’ll be back in action. Maybe a nice spanking with some edging.