Yesterday, along with you, I learned that “ok” from Mrs. Lion doesn’t mean “yes,” it just means that she heard what I said. So, now my understanding of how coupons and extra days work is incorrect. That’s fair enough. Since I have the coupons and whatever redemption rules she finally settles on, I can still elect to keep them in the drawer. The question I ask myself is why it is so difficult sometimes. Take wait times; I don’t necessarily remember every date, but I have a calendar that works on my phone and computer. So, I create an appointment called “O”. If “O” is on 9/9, I see it on my phone as coming up. If Mrs. Lion adds a week, I simply update my calendar to show 9/16. Mrs. Lion can see my calendar too. Her phone should be syncing with my calendar. No memorization needed. I am happy to take on the job of remembering the next time I get to come. Trust me, I don’t need the calendar. I count the days.
I don’t think that Mrs. Lion thinks I would lie to her. I wouldn’t. I was concerned I could make a mistake about the dates. That’s why I make an entry on the calendar. As she likes to remind me, I asked to be caged, so it is fair that I do the bookkeeping since she finds that difficult. The frequency of “O” dates seems to be decreasing. That further enhances my memory. We had talked about this issue of tracking rewards and punishments. That’s why I printed the Good Lion and Naughty Lion coupons. No memory at all is needed. Write one up and stick it to the fridge. We both see them until cashed in. When I got those hard swats last week, Mrs. Lion took the coupon and tore it up. Case closed.
It’s true that a lot of caged males like elaborate rule systems and games to add interest to their chastity. I am not interested in that. I suggested the longer penalty wait time, for example, because one day just isn’t a deterrent to me. If Mrs. Lion prefers to add only a day, that’s completely up to her. She won’t have to remember the new date. I will. It will appear on her calendar. It’s my job to do the paperwork.
Sometimes it seems to me that caging me is just too much work and trouble for Mrs. Lion. She regularly writes about how difficult it is to remember dates, think of things to do , etc. Her post yesterday highlights how much trouble locking me up has become. I keep thinking that things are getting easier and that we are evolving into a sustainable way of life that, at least to date, has improved our sex life. I also thought that she liked my suggestions about coupons. Wrong on both counts.
As I wrote months ago when we started this adventure, it won’t work unless both of us get something from it. Now, seven months later, I am the only one benefiting. That makes me feel thoughtless and selfish. It makes me want to stop. I don’t want to be trouble or an inconvenience to Mrs. Lion. I want to make her life better, not harder. I’ve learned that “ok” doesn’t mean “yes.” I am learning that “yes” doesn’t mean “I want to do this.”
Mrs. Lion is right. I have been designing how my chastity will go. She noted that and said that it is up to her. She’s right, it is. However, inaction isn’t the same as making the rules. That doesn’t mean she is obligated to create a lion rule book that rivals the NFL in its excruciating detail. It does mean that there are some rules that she wants to enforce. It means that we work together to help her to handle the problem of remembering dates. For me to want to continue, I do need to feel that there is something in this for her. Otherwise, I think the cage should come off.
Sometimes Lion amuses me. First, I think he capitalizes on my poor memory. Then he tells me how the coupons should be redeemed, always careful to add “if it were me” somewhere in the conversation. Then he writes about it as if it is written in stone. What he never seems to remember is that anytime I say “ok” during these conversations it’s just an acknowledgement of what he said. He’s not running the show. I will take in all information and suggestions and form my own decision.
Now, I did initially say that if he redeemed his Orgasm of his Choice coupon, it would restart the clock. For this specified wait time I told Lion he would have a chance to earn both time off and time added. I then told him that if he earned an added day he would not be permitted to use a coupon to negate that added day. During the conversation in the car, he said if any time is added the coupons should not be allowed to be used. Then he further said if he earned time added it should be for more than one day because one day is nothing. This is why I hate making rules. They are too hard to keep track of. Days off. Days added. The party of the first part, henceforth known as…. It starts getting as complicated as lawyer gibberish. (No offense to the lawyers out there.)
Who is making the rules? It should be me. I will entertain his suggestions. In entertaining those suggestions I may say “ok”. This should be construed as an acknowledgement of hearing the suggestion. It should not be taken as an acceptance of how things are going to be done. I don’t want to keep track of a week added onto a “sentence”. Why did I pick September 9 as his next orgasm date? It’s easy to remember 9/9. Done. Why was I toying with September 30 and October 9? 9/30 and 10/9. Easy dates for me to remember. Once we start adding days and subtracting days it becomes less easy to remember. A week may be impossible. I don’t need added chores.
I said I would figure out the conditions under which the coupons can be used when I give him the next wait time. I’m thinking I will just let him use the coupons in the spirit in which they were intended. After this wait time, he can use them however he wants, regardless of whether I have added or subtracted a day. If he uses his orgasm coupon I’ll decide then if it changes his original date.
Mrs. Lion presented me with “Love Coupons” on our anniversary in August. Mrs. Lion’s love coupons offer me some very attractive opportunities. However, like any coupons you use at the grocery store, there are terms and conditions. We discussed this topic while on a drive. One coupon I received was for “the orgasm of my choice .” Redeeming it gives me the right to specify how I want to orgasm. Originally, when I got the coupons, I asked Mrs. Lion if mid-wait I could use a coupon to get an orgasm. She said that I could. I then asked if my waiting time would start over again of if the coupon represented a bonus. I favored restarting the wait time and she agreed.
Our conversation in the car started with us discussing adding or subtracting time from a wait. Mrs. Lion said that coupons would be invalid if she extended a wait. Since she would only extend my wait as a punishment, I thought that was fair. We revisited the “bonus orgasm” coupon. It bothered both of us a bit that I could essentially call the shots by using a coupon. So, we settled on a more restrictive definition: The orgasm coupon could only be used at the end of a wait to allow me to decide how I would come on the appointed day. This way, Mrs. Lion retains absolute control but I also get a nice reward when I redeem my coupon. The other coupons (reduce my wait by one day, go “wild” for a day) are fine as is.
I then did one of those suicidal things I am famous for; I said that if Mrs. Lion extended my time she make it at least a week. I had been thinking about the whole idea of extending a wait as a form of discipline. I realized that if she added a day, which was her original idea, it wouldn’t have a deterrent effect on me. Another day isn’t that hard to handle. A week or more added on is a very different thing. A week is a very long time when you are desperate for release. I will be very careful to avoid a sentence like that. Mrs. Lion commented that a week seemed too severe. I suggested that perhaps a warning for the naughty behavior might come before actually tacking on a week. Also, she can decide how important my infraction might be. She could also use a combination of penalties if she wants: spanking and an extended wait. Mrs. Lion will have to try different strategies to see which work best for her. But to me, a short addition to my wait time will not make the kind of impression I think it should.
As Mrs. Lion’s comfort level grows, she seems ready to explore new things. She knows I have always wanted discipline to be part of my experience. However, trying to introduce anything more than a few swats into something that was already very difficult for her, was asking too much. Apparently she has begun thinking about more active discipline as part of our routine. She is also considering longer waits. I could find myself with a full month soon. Poor lion. As Mrs. Lion is fond of saying, “You want this, don’t you?”
Yes I do.
Things are tightening up around the lion’s den. Mrs. Lion has also been thinking about an activity which I admit that I love to hate: spanking. When we got home from our long weekend, Mrs. Lion gave me the four hard swats called for in my Naughty Lion coupon. She used a hardwood (bloodwood) paddle with a very rough anti-skid tape applied to one side. I could feel every grain of that tape with each swat. THe next night she commented as she plugged my ass, that my cheeks were still rosy from my spanking. She said she could see the markings from the non-skid tape.
I know that Mrs. Lion has wanted to provide more lasting sensation after a spanking. I admit that I would like that too. She has had very limited success marking me (bruising). In her defense, I have to say that over the years tops who spanked me have had similar complaints. I don’t mark easily. In her post the other day, she wrote that she thought the heavy, wooden spoon would mark me. It should, but last time she used it, there were no lasting marks. Over the years I have learned that creating marks takes a special sort of swat. Many tops, including me, like to leave a “souvenir” or two on the bottoms we spank. Mrs. Lion does know exactly the right spot to swat me (green circles). She does that knowing full well I will feel it most there. I do and yelp each time she hits me. I think she likes my yelps.
When you go for a marking swat it is administered alone; that is, a long pause is taken both before and after administering it. One top warned me by saying, “I’m going to mark you now.” Markng requires an implement with a small surface area and a long enough handle to give good leverage. The large wooden spoon is a very good choice. The back of that spoon is fiendishly small. In the image of my butt (above), you can see the the areas circled in red represent the prime locations for marks. Ideally, one per cheek will assure that the spanking will be remembered long after it is done. Within that sweet spot, lower and toward the crack is most tender and most memorable locations for bruises. Using the implement a very hard swat is required for the desired result.
I know that many couples don’t include spanking in their chastity lifestyle. We do because it is something that turns me on, at least before and after the fact. During the spanking I am always sorry I asked for it. Mrs. Lion has worked hard to overcome her feelings about “hurting” me. I am very grateful that she is so successful in providing this stimulation. While not every caged male will find spanking a useful part of the enforced chastity experience, it is something worth discussing and potentially exploring. It certainly works for me.