man on a leash
I thought about how I would be my keyholder. My response surprised me.

I wondered how I would handle me if I were my keyholder. Since I have decades of topping experience, I have been through most of the pitfalls of topping, including 24/7 relationships. As a caged male, my thinking has been around my experience as the bottom and I admit I haven’t considered what it would be like to be my keyholder. Before going further, let me say to Mrs. Lion that this is not my wish list of how I want you to manage me.

One of my keyholder goals is to limit the amount of time and attention I need to pay to my caged male. Lion loves rules and discipline, but both require my time as supervisor/enforcer. I want to give him that sense of being controlled without driving myself crazy. His shock collar is my favorite tool. When we are together I can use it to remind him to behave if he does anything that bothers me. He has a few rules including not itnerupting, not touching himself, acting politely, and looking out for my comfort. If I see an infraction, I hit the “NO!’ button (the +2 red button on his remote control). This gives him the sense of control without too much bother on my part.

I don’t want to have too many rules. He won’t remember all of them and I will feel pressured to enforce them. So rather than fixed rules, he is punished if he does anything that annoys me.  This way, I don’t have to bother with specific rules and he can learn on his own what will keep him out of trouble.

When it comes to keeping him locked up, I don’t give him a schedule. That wold be one more thing to discuss and remember. Instead, if I want to make a point with him, I just tell him he will wait at least another week before his penis gets out of his cage. Since he wears a Jail Bird, he can stay locked in without a hygiene break for at least two weeks if needed. Otherwise, I let him out when I feel like it. I want him to know that my toy comes out when I am in the mood and that he has nothing to say about it.

With lockup time off the table in terms of my use of it for behavior control, I depend on his shock collar and spanking for reinforcement. Lion is in full agreement with this since it fits his view of discipline. In terms of my pleasure, I expect him to make regular (daily) attempts to sexually please me. If I am not in the mood, I tell him. As his keyholder, I want him to do the work. If he fails to try on any given day, even if I don’t want sex anyway, he is punished. I want to train him to focus on me and my pleasure and not just react to rules.

I want to use his chastity to train and condition him. I don’t have fixed training goals, but rather react to his behavior and correct it as necessary to mold him to my wishes. He isn’t entirely happy with this since he likes structure, but I am happy with it and I’m in charge.

Based on my experience to date, this would be my approach to being my keyholder. I don’t necessarily want Mrs. Lion to take this too seriously. It is based on my personality and the way I prefer to top.

How would you behave as your keyholder? Want to share? Use the Contact Us page to send your ideas. I will post the best submissions as guest posts here. If you are a keyholder, how do you imagine your caged male would answer this question? Let us know.

hidden key
I’ve hidden Lion’s key. I hope I can remember where I hid it (so does he)

Last night I took my favorite toy out of its cage and played with it. I was thinking I’d only stretch it a little. I wasn’t going to edge Lion. But he moaned and I figured I’d give him a little more attention. Just a little. So I edged him and when I was done I handed him the cock ring and told him to replace it when he was soft.

I know Lion doesn’t want to know where the key is. I don’t know if this is from a temptation standpoint or a power thing. Whatever it is, this morning I hid the key in a different place. Now it’s a crap shoot whether I can remember where I hid it. And will I remember to bring it for our weekend away?

No matter how comfortable he says he his in cage, I think he thinks about sex more often now than he did when he was wild. I think it makes him a little crazy not to be able to touch himself.  He won’t admit it, but I think he’s really missing his favorite toy so he may throw a temper tantrum or two. I guess it’s just another training opportunity.

I’m not sure how long I plan to deny Lion. It would be silly of me to post a date on here where he could see it even if I had one in mind. Sometimes he can sway me by moaning, whimpering, and otherwise being pathetic. Sometimes I just laugh at him.

We’re still playing it by ear.

Yesterday, I talked about the practical changes I have had to make as a caged male. These changes, while inconvenient at times, are not very big the the overall scheme of things. I can’t get very put out about changing underwear or adapting to peeing sitting down. I think the emotional changes often are deal breakers for many males who try this lifestyle.

I think that many people see forced male chastity as one more kink in the spectrum of power exchange. Certainly it is fair to characterize it that way. However, most power exchange is limited to specific “play times” where the activities take place. Between these play sessions, life is normal for the people involved. Within defined time limits, play can be pretty extreme. However, unlike most power exchange, forced male chastity is often a full time activity. My cage (chastity device) only comes off for period hygiene, play time, and medical visits. I’m locked up almost all of the time with no end in sight.

That permanence can play some interesting games with my head. If Mrs. Lion chooses, I can remain in my cage with no break for as long as she wishes. When I’m locked up I can’t have sex, or even get an erection. It’s completely within her power to deny me another orgasm for the rest of my life. I know that isn’t very likely. Fortunately, Mrs. Lion really likes to make me orgasm, but it is within her power and our agreement for her to withhold any sexual expression at all for as long as she likes.

What if I’m horny? I know that thought occurs to all of us. The answer to that question is that I will remain horny until I get tired of it. Moreover, Mrs. Lion can attach “strings” to allowing me to get hard or orgasm. If I don’t want to take the “deal”, she can just let me remain in my cage. Being male, I know that my frustration will only grow over time. This is especially true if she takes me out for teasing and then locks me up without satisfaction. That activity is guaranteed to keep my attention sharply focused on my cock and its need to orgasm.

In many power exchange scenarios, the top must do something to encourage the bottom to obey. In my case, all Mrs. Lion has to do is leave me alone. My hormones supply the encouragement. Typically the bottom is the passive partner, receiving orders, obeying, being disciplined. Now I can be made the active member. If I want a chance to orgasm, I have to do things to please my top to induce her to let me out and let me orgasm. She doesn’t have to do anything at all.

I don’t know about other males, but perhaps due to my extensive experience with power exchange (on the top side), I am painfully aware that the top now has the easier job. She doesn’t have to do a thing to make me endure more and more frustration. I am powerless to cheat or otherwise deal with my sexual needs. That stainless steel cage may not be completely escape proof, but it is a sufficient deterrent to guarantee I am sexually powerless. I’m not used to being powerless. I don’t always like the feeling.

What is truly different in this case is that it makes no difference how I feel about my sexual needs and frustration. I’m locked in and that isn’t going to change. I’m already in my chastity cage. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to do a thing to keep me there.

The only “rebellion” possible for a caged male is to somehow lose interest in sex. If I don’t care about getting off, then all I have to deal with is the physical inconvenience of being in the device. Well, that sounds easy. I can gain the upper hand, or at least parity, by losing interest in sex. Unfortunately, nature has made it impossible for me to do that, especially with regular teasing. What would stop me from physically taking over during a teasing session? Theoretically, nothing would unless Mrs. Lion restrains my hands. We have a convenient eye bolt in the back of the headboard she can use for that purpose. Currently, she doesn’t restrain me. I think she should.

One of the things that attracts me to being caged is that irrevocable loss of control. That’s why I don’t like knowing where Mrs. Lion keeps my key (I know where it is, sweetie). I don’t like knowing I can overpower her and masturbate when uncaged. She and I both know that I won’t do that or use her key, but it removes some of the reality of her power by making it possible for me. We do have a spare key which I keep. It is in a metal container sealed with a numbered tamper-resistant seal. If I use that key, she will know and presumably can restrain me, then give me appropriate punishment.

In my case the emotional reward of being caged is the feeling of absolute loss of sexual control. So even though I would never (I think) take her key or jerk off when she has me unlocked, I would much rather know that I can’t do that. I’m drawn to the loss of power. I want that loss to be as real as possible. This includes not trusting me when I can get myself off.

I guess that’s what makes this a kink. I could easily practice unforced chastity by simply waiting for Mrs. Lion to get me off even though I have full access to my cock. I would probably be pretty good at it. But what really turns me on is that once I give away that access, I can’t take it back. I think this is what is so difficult for Mrs. Lion to understand. I am sexually aroused by knowing I can’t get aroused  without her agreement. Every part of our forced chastity activity that gives me the opportunity to get around that loss of power also takes some of the fun out of it for me. What about you? How do you think of this?

tightrope walker
Balancing between making things work and giving Lion what he wants is a real tightrope act.

I’ve said it before. I love to make Lion come. The problem is that Lion would like to be denied. He wants me to make him wait. I’m not sure why he wants to wait. I’m not sure why he wants a lot of what he wants. My job is to make sure he gets it. Or doesn’t get it, in this case. So why is it a problem?

For years I didn’t give Lion the sexual attention he needed. Once I agreed to cage him, he actually got more sex as opposed to the denial he may have expected. When I didn’t touch him for two days last week I was trying to build up anticipation (and ejaculate). But I saw how easy it would be to lapse into my previous inertia. I don’t want to lose any progress I’ve made.

I still don’t see it as a bonus that Lion will be more attentive to my sexual needs. My libido has not rebounded as much as we’d hoped. I guess I need to make that a higher priority.

Somehow I have to find the right balance. Between making Lion wait too little and too much. Between being too hands on (and needing to give him the orgasm I want him to have) and being too hands off (and allowing inertia to creep in).