I’ve learned a lot from forced male chastity. It’s amazing how much power our little male sex organs wield. If you don’t believe me, consider what happens when you put one in a cage. So much can change. The caged male magically sees sex as pleasure he should provide to his keyholder. He becomes more thoughtful and considerate. His new keyholder discovers a new sexual liberation. She starts feeling freer to demand sexual satisfaction. Many also discover that they now have the ability to exercise control over their males and they find that the caged males will meekly accept orders and allow themselves to be spanked or otherwise disciplined as required by the keyholder.
What happened? Is it magic? I think it may have some magic to it. Most of us, male and female, unconsciously seem to give power to the penis and its owner. Uncaged, it demands satisfaction and puts its mate second. Now that doesn’t mean that every male selfishly takes sexual pleasure without regard for his partner. I certainly never did that. But it appears to change the keyholder. She quickly learns that her pleasure should come first every time. He bares his bottom for paddling when she wants to correct him.
In fairness, it isn’t the cage or the penis that directly cause these changes. Obviously, the male wants his keyholder to have this power. The cage is not only a symbol, but an actual device that removes sexual control from him. The woman’s side appears more complex. I asked a couple of keyholders who were actively controlling their males if they could keep controlling if he wasn’t locked up. Both women said, no without the cage they wouldn’t have the power and the males wouldn’t accept control.
Both said that they expect to keep their males locked up for the rest of their lives. That means the keyholders believed that the power exchange was controlled by the penis cage, not the agreement of their males. As a caged male, I think that if my lioness wanted to continue controlling me, but didn’t want me caged, I would agree and continue to give her the power. The other two women were sure that their power would start eroding as soon as the cages came off. I think that if I were uncaged, my lioness would start to lose interest in the power exchange and things would return to the pre-cage state. Could it be that the keyholder needs the cage more than the male?
My theory is that while the male is caged, he is totally dependent on his keyholder for sexual satisfaction. He can’t get off without her help. This puts a responsibility on our keyholders to provide sexual attention since we are defenseless in our cages. Also, the cage is a continuous reminder to me that I can not independently get sexual satisfaction and also reminds me that my keyholder has obvious power over me. We are unable to forget that we have a power exchange relationship. Both the main tool of control and the symbol is locked between our legs.
The power the cage has is almost diabolical. Not only does it transfer ownership of the penis to the keyholder, but it also constantly reminds the keyholder that she has a duty to the former owner of the penis to provide at least some activity. It’s surprising that something we could consider as a genital bondage device is actually a powerful emotional lever that changes both caged male and his keyholder. How many of us understood that when we first set out with forced male chastity.
Lion had a frenum piercing when I met him. He reminded me several times over the years that if he was ever in an accident and needed an MRI, I had to be sure to tell the nurses and doctors about the piercing. A metal piercing in his manhood would not fair well in a giant magnet.
He has since let the piercing close, but I now wonder about his cage. First, if they don’t check he could wind up in an MRI with an even bigger metal vs. magnet problem. Second, if they need to get it off without the key how much damage will they do to him in the process? Bolt cutters are very unwieldy. Saws are dangerously fast and sharp. What’s in the cage is mine and I like it intact as I’m sure he does.
Around the house I have places I can lock the spare key so in an emergency Lion can free himself and I will know if he cheats. There’s no safety net when he is out of the house. Lion seems unconcerned, but I worry about things like this.
As I have often said, most of the so-called advice to keyholders are actually male fantasies couched as “lessons.” Rather than information, it is a wish list created by males who have a rich chastity fantasy life. Those of us with experience generally roll our eyes at the elaborate jerk off fantasies that are out there. Keyholder 101 is based on our experiences actually living with forced male chastity.
Men, like women are programmed to make sex more or less important based on the availability of sexual activity. When you lock up the male’s penis, you are making it difficult-to-impossible for the male to sexually satisfy himself or find someone else other than you to do it for him. He enters a sexual desert. If you simply leave him locked up, after a while sex will become less and less important to him. This is counter productive since one of the central ideas behind forced chastity is for the keyholder to use the caged male’s need for sex as a way to control him.
So how do you keep him frustrated and crazy to have sex without actually getting him off? The answer is something that every woman has been taught is wrong: cock teasing. In most social situations it is considered wrong to arouse a male with no intention of eventually giving him an orgasm. Girls are taught that males can even be dangerous if aroused and unsatisfied. I’m not sure I would go that far, but we can certainly get cranky and hard to be around. In the case of forced chastity, the main reason to lock him up is to keep him extremely horny and frustrated and to use his intense desire to get off as part of the lifestyle.
Many women think that simply depriving him of the opportunity to get off will produce the desired result. It will for a while, but after a week or two of lockup his frustration will diminish and so will his interest in pleasing you so that you will please him. The most basic and probably most effective way to prevent this loss of interest is tease and deny.
This is the classic way to keep a man wanting. Remove his cage and directly stimulate his cock and balls. He needs to believe that you will stimulate him until he can ejaculate. Caged males aren’t stupid. We do know that we aren’t allowed to orgasm without keyholder permission and that sexual stimulation isn’t necessarily going to lead to relief. Surprisingly, even though we know all this, once we are stimulated to a point near orgasm, we lose the ability to think about anything than coming. This level of stimulation happens quickly and only a few seconds before it is too late and he will ejaculate.
Fortunately, he will give you signals when he is ready to explode. If you expect your caged male to be well behaved, he will tell you when he is ready, or maybe ask if you will let him come. In the beginning, just telling you is enough. Don’t necessarily wait for him to tell you or believe him when he does. Every male has a set of uncontrollable signals that signal he is ready to explode. You probably know your partner’s. If you don’t, masturbate him to orgasm a few times and observe what happens just before he comes. It is very likely his breathing will change and he may do other things to signal he is ready.
The actual tease is to take your time getting him excited. Prolong the time before he is ready to come. The reason for this is that you want to give his body time to build up all those nice hormones that go with sexual activity. The more aroused he is, the more important it will be to him that he get off. The art to this tease is a very slow buildup, so slow that he is moving his hips trying to get closer. When he reaches that point just before release, stop all stimulus. He will try to fuck the air, move his hips, do anything he can to go that extra second and ejaculate. Once you get over the taboo, you may find this funny. It is certainly ok to laugh at his antics.
Next, wait until he calms down a little. You don’t need to wait until he gets soft, just enough so that touching his cock won’t get him off. Rinse and repeat. Slowly stimulate him to the edge and stop. Repeat this as many times as you like. This technique can lose its effectiveness if you don’t occasionally let him squirt. When you do want to let him come, repeat the tease and deny several times before finally continuing the stimulation until he can have a nice orgasm. Always do the tease several times first. That way he learns that even after a lot of teasing he still has some chance of coming. He needs to believe this or his body will protect him by making it much harder to get him fully aroused.
If you do this tease and deny several times a week, you will keep your caged male’s attention and improve his willingness to do your bidding. Even if he knows when he will come next, he will be unable to resist your teasing, especially when he has been conditioned to expect teasing before he can finally come. Sound cruel? Maybe under some circumstances it is. But remember this is what he asked you to do. Don’t feel badly that he is so frustrated. Enjoy the obedience and entertainment that a well-teased male can provide.
Here are my somewhat immediate problems. And these are only problems in that I know as a top they shouldn’t be problems. But for me it is a constant wrestling match in my mind about how I should act (i.e. what is expected of me as a top) and what I actually want.
I don’t mind when Lion suggests things. I don’t feel pressure to do those things. I used to. But now when he says he’s horny or this is what he’d like, I consider them and decide what to do. I am more likely now to laugh at him or tease him more if he says he’s horny. Poor baby!
My sex drive is still not where Lion wants it. On the one hand, who cares? It’s not what he wants that counts. On the other hand, he thinks he’s letting me down by not pleasing me. Not true. He is being more attentive. This pleases me.
I like to give Lion orgasms. Again, this is only a problem from the point of view of me as a top. Last night as I was teasing him, I said I was thinking about making him come every night. He said he would be thrilled with that. I know male chastity involves making him wait to come but damn it I like giving him orgasms. Then I said I might see how many times I can make him orgasm in a given day. Again he perked up. We discussed giving him a time limit and if he doesn’t have an orgasm in that time frame then he doesn’t get to have one at all. I’ll probably do all of that at some point in time.
So all of this leaves me with doubts as to whether I am making progress or not. Sometimes I feel like I am and other times not so much. I know I have an inner bitch but she is usually reserved for that idiot driver in front of me who can’t seem to do the speed limit. Lion wishes I would harness some of that road rage and put it to use on him. That’s not how I’m wired.
I just think we have to find our own way. Somehow we’ll figure it out. There is no one size fits all approach.