The Pendant of Power
About a week ago my new key arrived. Lion had an additional key made that had been polished so I can wear it on a necklace. Mature Metal needed my permission, of course. There’s no telling how many caged males try to get an extra key. (Not many, I assume.) I bought a leather cord and last night we got a smaller ring than the one that came with the key to connect it. I thought the leather cord was very fitting given Lion’s years in the leather community. Today I’m wearing the “pendant of power”. That’s what I’ve decided I’ll tell people if they ask what it is. It does, after all, represent the power I have over Lion’s weenie.
Last night I also decided on the second rule of my tax day resolutions. Lion has to thank me after I punish him. If I zap him with the shock collar because he’s done something wrong, he has to thank me. If I zap him for the heck of it, he doesn’t. Whenever he receives punishment swats, he must thank me. And now I’m thinking he should even thank me when I point out an infraction if I don’t punish him at that time. I am going out of my way to punish him for doing something wrong. If he does nothing wrong then I don’t have to punish him and he doesn’t have to thank me. Sometimes he does thank me, but it’s never been a rule. And now it is.
Lion is so horny now that he can’t tell how many times I’ve edged him. Last night I even gave him a little bit more time between and he still said everything was a blur. We played the clothespin game again, where every close call was followed by the removal of one or more clothespins. And then, of course, I kept going even after the clothespins were all gone. He’s well past his scheduled date. He made another comment last night about having only two orgasms for April. We’ll see, Lion. 2.0 operates on her own schedule.
Lessons Learned, Changes, And Expectaions
Today is the traditional US tax day. It’s the last day when Americans can file their income tax returns for the previous year. For me, at least, it’s also a day to look back and take stock of how things have changed for me.
I’ve learned a few things in the past year. For one, I’ve learned that enforced chastity, once something my lioness did to make me happy, has changed into something she requires whether or not it makes me happy. While she is very gentle about expressing it, I can no longer choose to stop wearing a chastity device. That decision is absolutely hers. More significantly, she has made it clear that with or without the device, sexual activities not initiated by her are relationship-threatening sins. Jerking off is now grounds for divorce in the lions’ den.
That was a surprise because before enforced chastity, Mrs. Lion never expressed any opinion about me taking matters into my own hand. She always knew I wasn’t going to prowl and find other lionesses; so that wasn’t the issue at all. But now, in our third year of enforced chastity, any sexual use of my penis without my lioness is in the same category as cheating with another female.
My sexual behavior has changed too. This change has been evolving slowly. For one thing, I am not happy with the lack of sexual interest I feel for the first few days after I have an orgasm. Yes, Mrs. Lion can make me interested and can edge me, but it takes a while for me to develop the sense of being in heat. As a result, no matter how long my wait, I am less interested in having an orgasm than I was in the past. There is an interesting mental tug of war going on in my head when Mrs. Lion edges me. A very primal part of me wants her to keep going and let me finally come. Another part of me wants her not to let me go all the way. That way I will be horny for another day.
Along the same line, 2.0 has a very different approach to my sexual stimulation. She is no longer particularly interested in whether or not I want to orgasm or not. She likes me to be very horny and does a great job assuring that is my normal state. How long I go without release is independent of how much I want it. This is just what I hoped would happen. These changes are a big deal to me. They make me feel that her strong sexual control.
Expectations are dangerous things. Mrs. Lion avoids having any. I think she does that to avoid what she sometimes considers inevitable disappointment. I, on the other hand, have expectations. My life philosophy is that it is better to be disappointed than to miss opportunity. One of my expectations is that Mrs. Lion, over time, will begin having expectations and will work to achieve them. I’ll do anything I can to help that process along.
It is possible that one reason I am the principle source of the ideas she employs to control me is that she is concerned that her ideas won’t make me happy. She is very reluctant to take that chance. It’s my view that the least important thing about her role is risking disappointing me. Ultimately, what will make me happiest is seeing her take the leash and decide where we are going. The less my opinion is taken into account the happier I will be. I will regret saying this.
Oh, one more lesson learned: Enforced chastity and FLR are anything but simple and easy. Even knowing that, we are in no danger of giving up either.
Rules Review
I have one more day to figure out my tax day resolutions. True, it’s self-imposed and I can go past the date with no repercussions, but I’d like to at least have some sort of rules in place. I did come up with one rule yesterday. I have to hammer out the details though. The general idea is that Lion should stand when I enter the room. We’re thinking it’s just good manners. I can’t expect him to follow it until I give him specifics. But I’m hung up on coming up with another rule by my deadline.
I was reviewing the rules that Lion has to follow at this point. I think he has more rules than he realizes:
Each work morning he has to email me before noon. I don’t think he’s ever missed, although he has come close a few times. There are exceptions to this rule, of course. If he’s stuck in a meeting or there is another type of emergency, he’s off the hook.
He has to remind me when it’s punishment day. He has forgotten that one a few times.
He has to be naked around the house except when people are coming over or he needs clothing for safety reasons. He’s been pretty good about this one. I think he only missed once in recent memory. In fact, sometimes he’s too good about it. He is allowed to wear a T shirt when he’s cold but he sometimes sees this as cheating.
If he drops food on himself he gets swats. This is to combat a messy Lion. He jokes that restaurants have to put newspaper on the floor when he comes in. And for a while we seemed to have the only table without a table cloth in a restaurant, as if they knew he’d just mess it up.
Lion is notorious for interrupting me so I instituted this rule to help break him of this habit. I let him get away with it too often still.
Just recently, I added the collar back into the dress code. He has forgotten a few times, but I have not been on the ball with this rule. He remembers before I do and self-reports.
And now the standing when I enter the room rule. When I get that hashed out it will become a real rule.
I’m not much of a stickler for good manners. I try to have good manners, but when among friends it’s easy to let things go. I was just thinking Lion should have to open doors for me, but I think that would annoy me more than anything. I can open my own damn door. So I am still on the hunt for that last rule before my deadline. [Lion — I open doors for her now, when she lets me. I went to boarding school so my manners are generally good. I did get out of the habit of standing when she comes in or when she gets up at the table. So, that rule makes sense to me.]
Where Do I Look On The Menu?
On the big menu of power exchange, where do we put enforced chastity? Is it in the appetizer section? Does it belong with the entrees under sex? How do we categorize our kink. It’s fair to say that it doesn’t really matter where it appears. It is also fair to try to understand how enforced chastity fits into a complete power exchange meal.
We do know that enforced chastity is unusual and doesn’t appear in most power exchange conversations. It’s fair to say that it is an exotic dish. It also seems that quite a few people who partake of it, make enforced chastity the first power exchange they try.
One argument that it belongs with appetizers is that many, if-n0t-most people who begin with enforced chastity, eventually move on to other, unrelated activities. In my reading, I haven’t discovered any bloggers, at least, who practice enforced chastity and nothing else. I realize that a good many people add enforced chastity to existing BDSM activities. Well, some like a selection of appetizers for the main course.
There is one thing that is unique about enforced chastity: it is the only form of bondage I know that can be safely practiced 24/7. It provides physical control of a man’s penis. That is heady stuff and explains why so few who have heard about it, try it on a long-term basis. It’s a bit like fugu, a sushi dish made from the poisonous puffer fish. If the chef isn’t skilled enough, the dish will kill the person eating it. If prepared correctly, it is a delight (so I hear).
To be palatable for a man, the device has to be comfortable. That requires a device suited for him. Any mistake in measuring or manufacture and there will be too much discomfort to wear. The serving size also has to be correct. Too much, or too long a wait for an orgasm, will turn many men off. The enforced chastity process has to be a gradual weaning from frequent orgasms to much less frequent opportunities to ejaculate. Most of the men think they can start off waiting a long time. A wise keyholder knows that to build his enthusiasm for his bondage, she has to give him release frequently in the beginning and work up to the waits long enough for him to feel her control. So, in our kinky restaurant, serving size of enforced chastity has to vary depending on whether it’s the diner’s first taste, or if he is a long-time consumer.
As time goes by, chances are good that both the caged male and his keyholder get restless with all the inactivity between releases. So, teasing and edging are added. Also, when one or both of them start to like the taste of power exchange, it makes sense to try other forms to see if they enhance their meal. Some, like us try many different dishes. Some we like and eat again. Others we reject. Mrs. Lion and I think we like FLR, so we are experimenting with the different ways it can be prepared. We both find spanking useful and tasty. We have that dish quite often.
Enough of the food metaphor. My point is that enforced chastity extends over long periods of time. It’s natural to look for things to do between orgasms. The desire for control that started enforced chastity doesn’t go away between orgasms. If anything, it grows. This is what I think motivates many of us to find other things to do in the meantime.
