Turn On Your Filters
I’m still waiting to hear about my dream job. I was warned that I wouldn’t get any news this week. Other candidates are going through the interview process and I won’t hear anything until they have their chance to impress. Waiting is not my favorite activity. That’s an odd admission from someone who has to wait for each and every orgasm. Of course, that waiting is very different. I know what the outcome will be, just not when I will get it. I should be more confident about the job prospect too. The hiring company is very large and has Byzantine processes. The hiring manager has gone out of his way to assure that I know he is interested. I won’t feel good about the job until I get an offer. The ordeal isn’t done then. There are at least two background checks before I can start. Oh well.
Mrs. Lion has been great about trying to help me feel better. She hasn’t been demanding and has gone out of her way to help me feel less lonely and anxious. I’m grateful for her love and understanding. My ability to sleep has been suffering too. I’m up a few times a night. While trying to get back to sleep, I work to think about topics that will put me in a positive frame of mind.
The other night my thoughts turned to things I read online. Of course it’s impossible to know if what I’m reading is real or fiction, or perhaps a combination of both. For the record, I like both kinds of blogs. The thing is that situations presented in some, particularly in the areas of domestic discipline and female led relationships can set up unrealistic expectations for people who are inexperienced.
So, at 4 AM, I compiled a list of post content that might suggest I am reading fantasy:
- Is there an elaborate spanking ritual? Can you imagine such a ritual going on for years and years in your house? I can’t.
- Are other family members or neighbors involved in the FLR dynamic? Would your kids really be bossing around your husband? Are you that close to your neighbors?
- Has full-time help been hired who also dominates the male? Really?
- Is the male treated as an object? That’s a big fantasy, but try living that one for very long.
- Has the male not had an orgasm in a year or more? OK, this is something that a few people really do. Reading about this extreme, long-term denial is a flag, but not an absolute indicator of fantasy.
- Has the chastity device remained in place for months on end? This is a health risk. Even long term denial practitioners take the device off now and then.
I may have come up with a few more, but that’s all I remembered in the morning. My point isn’t that it’s wrong to express fantasies in a blog. No, not at all. I enjoy reading them. The only risk is that if readers judge their own lives in the context of unrealistic fantasy. When we first began this blog, I was indignant about the blogs that presented fantasy as fact. I guess I’ve mellowed. Some of these ongoing fantasies are like sexual soap operas. It’s fun to see what new inventions arrive in each installment. I admit it. I read them. Sometimes they even turn me on.
Of course I can be completely wrong. Perhaps what I see as inconceivable is actually fact for the people writing those blogs. Maybe your adult kid becomes a junior dominatrix who orders her dad around. Maybe elaborate BDSM rituals are daily activities. I don’t know. I do know that I don’t have any expectation that our lives will ever be like the ones I read about in those blogs.
That’s Not How We Work
I never meant that Lion should have dinner ready for me every night when I get home. I do love it when he does, but it’s not an assignment or requirement. I also don’t think I said I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to be home all day. I was only trying to say that I would love it. It gets old for me too eventually. Lion and I are very different. He likes to go to work and have contact with people. I can do without it. I have enough conversations with the dog and parrots to hold me for quite a while. Lion gets stir crazy, even when he’s home for a whole day on a weekend when I’m home too.
Lion mentioned wanting pho for lunch yesterday so I suggested it for dinner tonight. It kills two birds with one stone. Lion gets out of the house and neither of us has to cook. As he said in his post today, he’s all out of laundry. He wonders what he’ll occupy himself with. I could make a list for him, but that seems rude. There’s plenty to do, but I wouldn’t want him to tell me to do any of it if I was home. I do much better when it’s my idea. Like if we’ve talked about defrosting the freezer for weeks and then suddenly I get the bright idea to do it. Yes, we agreed it needed to be done, but I’m doing it on my terms. That way he’s pleasantly surprised when he gets home and I tell him it’s done. Check one item of the list. Plus, why should he get stuck doing all the things we’ve both been ignoring? That’s not fair.
I know this sort of flies in the face of FLR. Shouldn’t I be able to tell him to get things done? I should make a honey-do list for him. 2.0 should be standing there on the weekends, cracking her whip, making sure the chores get done. Nope. Not going to happen. There’s nothing stopping me from asking if Lion could do a certain project during the day, but I am not going to demand he do things. That’s not me. That’s not how we work.
Tonight, after our dinner outing, I’ll unlock Lion and we’ll see about playing. If he’s not in the mood, we can cuddle again like we did last night. I’m not sure how horny a bored Lion can be. I guess I’ll find out later.
Blue Monday
Our weekend was great. I doubt that most people would find what we did very exciting. We shopped, had lunch at Arby’s and worked on our lawn tractor. Oh yes, Mrs. Lion gave me an orgasm on Sunday night. Yesterday was different. Mrs. Lion went off to work and I had a day alone. She finds it hard to believe that I don’t like that. If I weren’t around, I think she would be a hermit. She finds endless things to do with her computer from Facebook to various online games. I am almost immediately bored with what I find online. I do enjoy reading other FLR and enforced chastity blogs. But that doesn’t eat up too much time.
So I began my Monday by rewatching some episodes of “Mozart in the Jungle” and then did the laundry. I’m yawning writing about it. The highlight of my day was a trip to Safeway supermarket to refill a prescridsption and buy some veggies for dinner. Last night’s culinary triumph was meatloaf, corn on the cob, and sauteed green beans. Are you yawning too? My libido is low since I did come on Sunday night.
I did get a couple of calls from head hunters who were touting jobs that required skills I don’t have. These people do searches on various job sites and do keyword searches. So if my resume has the word “financial” in it, they call me about a financial manager job. They don’t even take the time to skim my resume. I’m not a financial manager. I don’t know SAP and I am not interested in junior jobs paying half what I typically earn; at least not yet. Job hunting is tiring.
One other side effect of all this spare time is that I reflect in detail on recent events. Yesterday I realized that I have been consistently breaking one of Mrs. Lion’s rules. I haven’t been thanking her for spanking me. I don’t feel very thankful, but it is a rule. I will do better. She, on the other hand, has been on the ball. Sunday night when she spanked me, she said something new. After she finished, she said, “Interrupting me annoys me. When I’m annoyed, your butt is sore.” It was.
During my “me” time yesterday, I realized that her statement is pure FLR. She is making me sure that I understand that any time I cause her any grief, the pain will be mine. I may have asked for rules and punishment, but she has made practical use of my request. My lioness is asserting herself. That’s great. I’m proud of her.
Perhaps today will be more interesting. I’m out of laundry so I hope something comes up.
Going For Gold
Lion and I have this “witty” repartee whenever we see a Viagra commercial. The commercial says to ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. Then Lion says his heart is healthy enough and I say it’s too bad he can’t have any sex since he’s locked away. Hey, I warned you it was “witty”. It’s just an example of the silliness that goes on at our house.
We spent yesterday trying to work on our lawn tractor. According to one of our thermometers that sits in direct sunlight, it was 101 degrees. We were melting into the pavement. I’d like to say that if we still lived in NY we would be used to more heat, but I think we’d be hiding indoors there too. We’ve just become more accustomed to the Northwest’s cooler temperatures. We retreated into the air conditioned house and relaxed.
Lion got himself into trouble for interrupting me. Twice. I really, really hate that. So he got his butt swatted. Hard. And it wasn’t even punishment night. He doesn’t like getting punished. He doesn’t like when I remind him that he asked for it. He actually argued a little about it last night. He gave in quickly though. He knows he asked for punishment. He just doesn’t like it when it happens.
The other day, Lion said he was sure he would have an orgasm. I was getting him closer and closer to one and then I stopped. I told him it wasn’t his night. Last night was. Lately he’s been questioning me when I give him an orgasm. “Why did you do that?” he’ll ask. It makes me wonder if he really wants one. I know he likes to wait. I also know he likes to have orgasms. This time I didn’t edge him. I just went for the gold. He asked why there was no lead up. I said there must have been. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come. I did start out slow and build from there. I just didn’t edge him first. Sometimes you just can’t please a Lion. I know he was happy to come. It’s just odd to me that he questions things afterwards. (Not that he needs to stop doing it.)
I was also thinking last night that we haven’t played Zapardy in a while. Sometime this week I’ll have him strap on the shock collar for some fun. Since he’s home all day, I told him it would be cheating if he watched Jeopardy earlier in the day from our east coast feed so he’d know the answers. He promised he won’t. Last time we played he only got zapped twice. Let’s see if he can beat that.
