Chastity Conditioning
The sun did come out on Sunday. On Saturday night, Mrs. Lion surprised me with oral edging. This time she restrained herself and even though I got very close, I didn’t get to come. My no-orgasm-before date is today. So, starting today odds improve that I will get to come. I’m lucky in that Mrs. Lion really enjoys giving me orgasms. That makes me a temptation each time she unlocks me. Oh yes, after the edging session on Saturday night, I was back in my cage. I can’t say that I exactly missed it, but it does feel comfortable now that it is back in place.
It may seem silly, but I starting to realize that being locked into a chastity device is a sort of sex insurance policy for me. When I’m wearing the device I know that Mrs. Lion is thinking of me sexually. What? Let me explain. As long as I am locked in the Jail Bird, we both know that I have no chance to get erect and come. I’m sure that fact crosses her mind now and then. Certainly, it must when we are together since I am naked and the cage is in plain view. I know that I’m not triggering her libido, but I am reaching her consciousness. That’s enough for her to consider my plight and take appropriate action.
On the other hand, if I am a wild lion, there is nothing to note. My penis is exposed in its natural state. On some level she knows that she has nothing to do to allow me to function normally. I have no idea if this is true or not, but in my mind if I am in the wild state, she is free to return to our old pattern of sexless friendship. I’m not saying that would really happen; in fact, I’m very sure it wouldn’t. But on a deeper, emotional level, I don’t feel as confident.
In fact, I think I have been conditioned to associate the chastity device with sex. Over the last years I have almost always had sexual attention a short time after the cage was removed. That makes sense since the cage has been on almost constantly for over two years. I’ve learned that when the cage comes off, I get aroused and get some sexual attention from my lioness. When I’m wild for any length of time (the longest being about a week when the cage was being adjusted), there is no assurance I will get any sexual attention at all. In fact, when we went camping and I was uncaged during the three and four day trips, I did get some sexual attention. But it felt different to me.
I don’t think either of us intended for me to associate being locked in a chastity device with getting sexual attention. In retrospect, it makes sense. For years before enforced chastity I had almost no sexual attention from Mrs. Lion. From the very start, when the chastity device was locked on, I got very frequent and consistent sexual stimulation from her. I’ve learned that being locked means I will get sexual attention.
Maybe one reason I want to be locked up and I’m not entirely comfortable when the device is off is at least partly based on my unconscious association with chastity and sexual attention. That could explain why I want to get the device on as soon as possible after an edging or orgasm session. I can’t say for sure. This really is subconscious.
If, in fact, I am now conditioned to wear the device for whatever subconscious reasons, is that the desired state for a male under sexual control? Is this what makes a keyholder happy? I’ve been trained away from masturbation. I don’t even think about it anymore. And now I’m trained to need to be locked in a chastity device. I know Mrs. Lion is happy I no longer want to masturbate. I wonder how she feels about my need to be locked up. I’m not sure how I feel about it.
This may pose a practical problem. There are times, like when we use our camper, when it is much easier for me to not wear the cage. The design of RV toilets makes peeing sitting down a very wet, unpleasant exercise for me. My balls end up in the toilet water. But if I am not comfortable in this state, what can we do. It’s way too much trouble to ask her to unlock me each time I want to pee. I suppose I could use a diaper which avoids the problem in the camper. When we go out, there are generally urinals or conventional toilets. Alternatively, maybe wearing a cock ring will be a suitable substitute for the cage. If it works, my vote is for the cock ring. Diapers are not my favorite fashion accessory. I have serious doubts, however, the ring will work.
Of course, I can just suck it up and go wild when required. I just don’t know.
Saturday Night’s Alright for Edging
I’m still a little surprised when Lion says he doesn’t really want to play right now. I think what happened this time around in his unemployment is that we both jumped fast forward to the worry part. Last time it took us a while to get to the doom and gloom. I think we’re both envisioning that same 6+ month wait. It may be even worse with the recruiter and hiring manager practically telling Lion they want him, but he just has to wait a week. And then another week. And, oops, another week. It’s no wonder he feels like they’re stringing him along. I’m trying to remain optimistic, but I swear, if they don’t give him some good news soon, I may have to load up my paddles and start whomping people.
On the good news side of the world, our manscaping technique seems to be working. We’re seeing less hair in most areas. As a matter of fact, the hair I do see is gray and the Bella Flash won’t remove gray hair. Those areas will continue to require shaving. This afternoon we’re due for another round of hair removal. I may have to try the Bella Flash on myself. Who wouldn’t want to have to shave less often?
Lion was wild for a little over a day. He got to pee standing up and enjoyed a vacation from the cage. I got to grab him whenever I felt like it and I didn’t have to unlock him to edge him last night. At first he didn’t seem like he would respond. Then I got him interested. I know he finds it difficult to resist my mouth, so I decided to edge him orally. As much as I wanted to make him come, I was good. I stopped just short. Very short a few times. I know he wanted to me continue. I know he thought I would at least once. Sadly, for Lion, I didn’t. And the cage went back on by bed time. No more wild Lion.
He will be unlocked later for his manscaping and more fun tonight. Even if we just snuggle, it’s nice to have easy access to Mr. Weenie. Lion likes that too.
Slumpy
Saturday was uneventful. We went shopping for food. We napped. As of 8pm Saturday night I’m still wild (no chastity device). Not exciting at all around here. Even the weather is cloudy and cold. One thing will probably change before long, I expect that Mrs. Lion will have me locked back up soon.
In her post yesterday, she mentioned that she may want to play with me in the sling. As of now, that idea isn’t very appealing to me. I just don’t feel very interested in BDSM. I realize that this doesn’t make for a very interesting post, but it is my status as of Saturday night. All this could change today. Maybe I just need more rest. I probably need to resolve the job situation before my head gets back into the game. Today is supposed to be sunny. If it is, we have some work to do on the lawn mower. Don’t we have exciting lives?
It isn’t that I don’t want sex. If I am turned on for a while, my interest in anal penetration and other uncomfortable play will probably return. No promises, but it’s possible. My feelings won’t be hurt if we don’t go there. I do hope that there will be some edging though. It might wake me from my slump. I don’t know. Stay tuned.
New Things and Old Things
We were both tired yesterday. Lion had been awake a lot on Thursday night. I just didn’t sleep well. By Friday night we were both too tired to do anything. I unlocked Lion even though we weren’t going to play. I left him wild all night. I doubt that had anything to do with his restful night, but we both feel a lot better than we did yesterday.
Lion’s assignment the other day was to check out the local community center. We’ve lived here for a long time and neither one of us has set foot in the place. I knew from the website that it had certain amenities, but, as you know, the internet can be deceiving. Lion’s old fart pass gets him access to exercise equipment, the gym, an indoor walking track, and the pool. My intent was to get Lion out of the house so he would meet people. I should have known he’d suggest we can go together. Foiled by my own evil plan.
The pool does pose an interesting problem for Lion. The cage will show. If he really does want to use the pool and I’m working, he’ll need permission to use his emergency key. Do I grant him access to that key on a day by day basis? If he emails that he’d like to go to the pool and I’m not able to answer right away, does he miss out on a day of swimming? Should there be an “exercise” clause? These are not insurmountable issues and I’m sure we’ll work them out. I’m just glad the opportunity exists for him to use the facilities, even if he does want to drag me along too.
I think Lion is about due (he’ll probably say overdue) for a stint in the sling. He hasn’t had anything up his ass in weeks. And a nice spanking might help his mood. He keeps reminiscing about when we first met. Maybe that trip down memory lane will yield a good old fashioned play session – after I learned how to spank, of course.
