Changes
Lion was very good at Zapardy last night. Well, he was very cautious. He only got three questions wrong so only three zaps. There were many questions he didn’t even attempt to answer for fear of being wrong. I may have to tweak the rules a bit to encourage/force him to answer more often.
I’ve been walking in the door to some very yummy smells the past few nights. It seems Lion has his cooking drive back. Last night he made some pan roasted chicken I mentioned over the weekend. It’s somewhat difficult to make and we haven’t had it in quite some time. He’s a very good cook. (I’ve made the dish too but his always tastes better. More attention to detail I think.) I’m glad to see him cooking again. Aside from the extra work, I think he enjoys himself when he’s immersed in a recipe.
Since he had his orgasm Wednesday night, I didn’t expect him to be horny last night, but I unlocked him anyway. He said he wasn’t sure if he was horny or not. While we snuggled I fondled him and I was surprised when he got very hard. He said he wasn’t ready to be edged. I guess he was just taking the equipment out for a test drive. It’s also nice to see him get hard so easily. I love a hard weenie.
We’re getting ready for a trip next week. Lion seems to think things will change while we’re gone. The only change I’m aware of is that he’ll probably be wild. It’s just easier for both of us. I’ll still have my camping bag of tricks with me, including paddles. He’ll be punished if he’s foolish enough to break a rule. We’ll have enough toys to play if he decides he’s up for it. The only difference is the scenery. If it makes him feel better, I can make a designated punishment paddle for the camper. I mentioned doing that a few months ago. I thought it might be fun to have a paddle hanging just inside the door with lettering something to the effect of “Camper Law” or “Camper Justice”. Not that we have many visitors, but it would be a good reminder for Lion too. Sometimes he needs to be reminded.
Our Current View Of FLR
Many guys and the popular fantasies portray the HOH (Head Of Household) as an authoritarian dictator who gives orders and punishes even the smallest infraction. This is almost a BDSM scenario. I have to admit that I like this model. Mrs. Lion follows it when it comes to rules she has made, but not necessarily for practical relationship issues. I would be very unhappy if she were the HOH described on many FLR sites. I don’t do well with micro management and honey-do lists; at least for now.
It seems to me that FLR is an umbrella that covers a very wide range of behaviors covering complete control of the male’s life to a loose arrangement of behavioral rules that may or not be enforced. We’ve been at our own version of FLR, which we call FLR ( Female Led Relationship) for a fairly short time; a little over a year. Neither of us had a concrete plan on where we were going. It was an extension of our enforced chastity power exchange. For us, it is a set of rules that Mrs. Lion creates and enforces. We’ve talked about where we want to go next.
As of now, we’ve agreed that we don’t want to move to micromanagement. I doubt we ever will. The direction we agreed fits us better is for Mrs. Lion to continue making and enforcing rules as she sees fit. She will become stricter in both rule definition and punishment. She is free to assume control in any area of my life she wishes. She can determine how she wants to punish infractions. In matters where she has assumed controls, I have no control. It is true FLR. She decides what she wants me to do and enforces her will. Unlike the classic definition, she isn’t expected to run every aspect of our lives. Even so, both of us have to make changes. They’re different kinds of changes, but both are difficult.
Our progress has been uneven. Unlike enforced chastity, we have let external events interfere with our FLR. I don’t think that either of us is as comfortable with FLR as we need to be. I think that overall we have continued to improve. Over the last few weeks, Mrs. Lion has almost always administered punishment on the same day I break a rule. She has been consistently observing infractions. We are going on a vacation trip next week. This will be a significant challenge. The change from our normal routine and the usual vacation unwinding will make FLR more difficult. You can read about it all here.
Try Again
As you know, I don’t always follow through with plans. Yesterday I said we’d play Zapardy and I got involved in something and completely forgot about it. I asked my daughter a question on instant messaging and it turned into a conversation that lasted over an hour. It wasn’t until Jeopardy started and Lion said he guessed we weren’t playing that I remembered. We will play tonight. Definitely.
After Tuesday night got away from me while we were watching TV, last night I really wanted to play with Lion. I unlocked him early, as I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. I let him be wild for a little while before the festivities begin. Up till last night, we’ve been snuggling first. I play with him while we snuggle and try to gauge how ready he is for more. Last night I just started in on him with my hand. It didn’t take too long for him to respond. The other day he said he’s been needing oral or vibratory stimulation to get going. That was not the case last night.
I don’t know how many times I edged him before I gave him his orgasm. Afterwards he said he had a feeling he’d get to come last night. Really? He said it was eight days, like that was a long time. Then he said he wasn’t really sure he would have an orgasm. Me too. I didn’t really plan it. It wasn’t a ruined orgasm that I just continued. At the time, I meant to do it. I just wasn’t sure I was going to when I started.
There are some nights I know for sure I’ll take Lion all the way. Even then, I like to edge him a few times. I’m never sure if this particular time will be “the one” or if it will just be an edging. I do know, for those times at least, that the night will end with that big, silly smile on his face. Other nights I just go with the flow. I may not have a plan to do more than edging and something changes it into orgasm night. Sometimes it’s something Lion does. I can’t put my finger on it, but something says “Do it” so I do. (I can imagine Lion whispering, “Do it” next time he wants an orgasm.)
Lion’s next date is the 30th. Nope. Not a long wait at all. But remember, that’s just the next possibility. It could be a longer wait. Maybe I’ll make him wait until the 4th of July so he can have his own fireworks. We’ll have to wait and see when the mood strikes me again.
Stay The Course
Yesterday I reviewed a new (to me), inexpensive chastity device. When Mrs. Lion came home from work, she unlocked me and put me into the device I had reviewed. I was very surprised that this cage was completely comfortable. Of course I put that into my review. The thing is that when I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up the first time, I had a very different device that was wearable, but far from comfortable. Obviously, I was able to keep it on for the over-three-months it took to order and take delivery of the Jail Bird I wear now.
I’m not sure I would have kept going if it weren’t for this blog. Writing here every day has proven to be a powerful incentive to stay the course of enforced chastity. There have been a lot of opportunities to give up, at least in those early days. It took months before I became aware of the profound changes that enforced chastity wrought.
It seems crazy to claim that by wearing a device locked around my cock and balls, the very fabric of our relationship would change. When I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up, I had no idea of the effect this request would have. Truthfully, I was very surprised at how consistently Mrs. Lion functioned as my keyholder. Without a doubt, her initial behavior was a very conscious effort to make me happy by doing what I asked. To a large extent that remains a major motive for what she does now. But she and I have a much more important reason to carry on: The cage and the power exchange it represents has improved our communication and brought us much closer physically and emotionally.
As she’s become stricter I’ve learned to be very careful to obey her rules and behave the way she expects. This surprises me. She enforces her wishes with a paddle. Old fashioned spanking is her only punishment. I have always found spanking sexually arousing. I still do, but not punishment spankings. They hurt and when strongly applied, make me sincerely sorry for my breach. There’s a paradox! As she’s become more serious as a disciplinarian, I’ve learned to take her rules and wishes very seriously; even the seemingly trivial ones like not eating first or spilling food or drink on my clothes. I consciously try very hard not to incur her wrath. When we started all this, I would cheerfully break a rule and take the spanking. No more!
This is a very stressful time for me. In a lot of ways it would be much easier for me to abandon our power exchange. But the simple fact is that even if I wanted out, my lioness wouldn’t allow it. I don’t want it. I believe that if we stopped FLR and enforced chastity, we would sink back into those dark times of isolation and poor communications. Mrs. Lion isn’t as sure. But she’s made it clear that she is staying the course and that I can expect a stricter lioness. Will 2.0 completely replace the much-more-forgiving 1.0? I suspect she will.
