Redefining Roles
Earlier this week I wrote about the lifelong humiliation we males suffer due to our dependency on our wives for sex and emotional support. Wouldn’t you expect women to revel in this power position? I think that many find it to be a burden.
A glaring example of this is that even though women decide when and if their mates will have sex with them, there is a frequent complaint that their men don’t initiate sex. So, we males are expected to attempt to initiate sex with the full knowledge that we will be rejected.
Think about it. I’m supposed to make sexual advances. Then, my mate decides whether to reject me, or if I am lucky, have sex with me. A very common female complaint is that their mates aren’t sexually aggressive enough. I wonder why?
Let’s look at this logically. You’re standing at a bus stop. Your bus pulls up. The driver opens the door and as you begin to step in he says, “Sorry I can’t take you today,” closes the door and drives off. You notice that no one got off at your stop.
Why did he stop if he wasn’t going to let you board? Another bus stops. You try to enter, but the driver stops you. This happens over and over. After a while, a bus driver finally lets you in. You might get tired of trying to board, only to be rejected. That’s how it feels to be a guy.
Making advances often results in rejection. This is painful because it is a very powerful reminder of where the sexual power resides. Even if the rejections are relatively infrequent, it still stings. Over time, a guy can just give up. His wife gets angry that he isn’t “interested” in her sexually. That’s how she interprets his lack of initiative. She feels rejected. Now he feels badly because she is silently angry at him.
Did she consider that he never rejected her sexually. Women assume their mates are always ready for sex. That’s not true, but it is true enough that very few guys will ever say no. I enjoy sex with Mrs. Lion even if my penis isn’t involved.
Women are programmed to attach sexual self worth to how many sexual advances they get from their partners. Very few wives want to initiate sex with their husbands, and feel hurt and angry if their husbands don’t initiate with them.
This feels like a lose/lose proposition to me. We males are going to feel badly no matter how we behave sexually. There are ways to avoid this sand trap. The least practical is to always say “yes.” It just isn’t realistic to be that well synchronized. Another difficult, but very practical alternative is to change roles. Agree that the wife will initiate sex when she is available. Doing this isn’t all that easy. But it seems fair; at least to me.
Mrs. Lion and I are in an enforced chastity relationship. By definition, she has to initiate any sex I get. She has the only key that unlocks my chastity device. But I don’t think this is as successful as I had hoped it would be. Every so often she comments about wishing I would initiate. I should. If I initiate, I’m locked away so I know I’m not having sex. So I have no reason to be disappointed. This weekend I will try again.
Maybe we are on the way to a solution that works for both of us. Mrs. Lion continues to control when and how I get sex. If she wants to ride me, she can unlock my cage and climb aboard. But while I am locked up, I can try to provide her with an orgasm. If she isn’t interested, she can let me know. I won’t feel the sting of rejection because I am providing something just for her. If she isn’t interested, I can try again a few days later.
I fly back to my lioness this evening. I can’t wait. Flying west takes two hours longer than flying east at this time of year. No point whining; it does no good and if Mrs. Lion is around, painful consequences are probable if she hears me. She’s meeting me at the airport. I can’t wait to to hold her in my arms again.
Welcome Home
Lion was gone for a week. Apparently he forgot things while he was away. Like maybe, who’s in charge. He forgot his manners. He forgot his equipment. I’m glad I’m here to remind him.
We went out to get the oil changed in Lion’s car. Then we went to lunch. During lunch, my son called. Before I answered, I told Lion who it was. He didn’t hear me. Let me say that my voice is still somewhat raspy from time to time, although it is showing signs of going back to normal, and Lion either hasn’t really been listening or he really can’t hear me. He didn’t know who was on the phone until I was off.
My son is in the army. He’s a sergeant. He knows a little bit about the ins and outs of army life. Lion has never been in the army. When I recounted my conversation, Lion asked for clarification of a few things and then told me the correct way for my son to proceed. It was the only way for things to be done. As we talked, he seemed to listen less and less to me, and more and more to himself. Then he interrupted me. I told him he earned a punishment right there for interrupting. He didn’t like that idea at all. Too bad! (We always get into heated discussions when it comes to what my son should or shouldn’t do. In the army, there is very little wiggle room. You follow orders. You have little input on how something should be done.) So when we got home and he was in his uniform, I told him to roll over and gave him a good bunch of whacks. I knew they hurt and he thanked me for them.
Later on, we went out to dinner. Along the way, we saw a sign about a restaurant that’s coming to the area. It didn’t sound familiar so I decided to look it up when we got to our restaurant. As soon as my phone was in my hand, I saw Lion wince. I checked the training collar app. What a surprise! Lion had forgotten to wear it. He’d remembered it on our previous trip out of the house. He even asked me if I had my phone that time. He wanted me to check up on him. Not this time. He was sans collar. More punishment for Lion. This is the first time I’ve ever punished him twice in one day.
When I was done with the swats, he said he thought it would be much worse. I was concerned about too many swats on an already sore butt. The intensity was the same. I just didn’t hit as many times as I would have, had this been a one punishment day. Live and learn. Next time I won’t take it so easy on him.
In the future, I have two choices. I can not tell him about any conversation with my son, or I can stop him before he gets started on the I-know-what’s-best train of thought. Maybe I can ward off the interruption that way. I guess Lion has two choices, too. He can interrupt me or not interrupt me.
Remembering the training collar is another matter. For now, he’s decided to wear it all the time except when peeing or showering. That way he can’t possibly forget it. As long as it’s not in my way, I don’t mind that tactic. As for the rule, he still only has to wear it when we’re out.
Mrs. Lion’s Hobby (NSFW)
One key activity that many males in enforced chastity enjoy is tease and deny. In my case that means Mrs. Lion masturbates me just enough to get me on the edge of ejaculation and stops. This is an extreme form of what we used to call cock teasing. Mrs. Lion does this almost every day. Her hand is amazing. She knows just how to rub me the right way. It shouldn’t be surprising that after she’s done this several times, I’m desperate for her to let me come. She doesn’t. After I calm down, I put on the base ring and Mrs. Lion locks the cage around her weenie.
In a typical week, I get edged at least 30 times. Mrs. Lion’s hand is quite busy. When she decides to take me out of my misery, she almost always uses her hand for that too. That’s her hand at work in the image (right). She says she likes doing this. Everyone needs a hobby.
I never imagined that my sex life would be more than 99% masturbation. It never occurred to me that masturbation would never include my hand. After more than three years my sexual fantasies always end up with Mrs. Lion giving me a hand job. The fantasy may include spanking, oral sex, even intercourse, but invariably it ends up with Mrs. Lion finishing me off with her hand. My semen typically ends up being fed to me when she is done.
In the beginning of our relationship, sex followed this pattern. Mrs. Lion would tease me and get me hard. She would mount me cowgirl-style. She would ride for a while, then she would move over my mouth and I would continue with my tongue. When she had enough orgasms, she would dismount and masturbate me to orgasm. At least half the time, she would feed me the result. We were both very happy with that pattern.
During the dark days when we avoided sex with one another, I would masturbate between one and three times a week. About once a month I would signal that I wanted sex. I almost never came out and asked for it. I would scooch over to her in bed. She knew that was my signal. She would sit up and jerk me off. Occasionally, she would give me oral release.
I don’t feel badly about this. My fantasy started the hand job pattern 15 years ago. I love how it feels when Mrs. Lion jerks me off. I love her pussy and mouth too. My very first sexual experience with another person was a hand job. I went to an all-boys prep school, so I didn’t have the opportunity to interact with girls until my first year at college. My date was as inexperienced as I. We were both horny. After a long period of clumsy petting, we got naked. She shyly touched my penis (it was mine then). I showed her how I masturbate. She took over. I learned how to use my finger to please her. Over time we became very good with our hands. Eventually, we used our mouths too. We never fucked.
Here I am many years later with my sex life primarily masturbation. Mrs. Lion has learned to be a consummate expert at massaging her weenie. She always sees my appreciation of her work. I am occasionally fed the result.
Computers Make It Easy
This morning we had our first weigh-in. Now we have a starting point by which to judge all weigh-ins. My first thought was to go with a pound a week loss. It seems to be a rational start. Lion thinks it should be a pound a week, but have it average over a month. I told him the other day that if he loses two pounds in one week, that extra pound cannot be transferred to the next week. To me, that would be averaging a weight loss. I realize that we’ll each have our ups and downs. Maybe one week we’ll lose those two pounds and then stay steady for a week or two before going up or down again. So the compromise we came up with is that Lion has to at least maintain his weight from one week to the next. If he gains, he loses, in the form of punishment.
I was going to make a table showing each of our weights as of the Saturday morning weigh-in. The date, Lion’s name and weight, and my name and weight. It will be easy to see our progress. But no. Lion had to make a spreadsheet, because, I guess, if it’s on the computer, it’s much easier than simple pen and paper near the scale where it’s readily available for all to see. That’s okay. I’ll still make my table and keep it near the scale. He can have his spreadsheet. To each his own.
Lion’s other caveat is that I should lose weight more quickly because I’m just starting out and he started losing weight a while ago. Like my twenty pounds, as of today, don’t count as previous weight loss. It doesn’t really matter. I’m going to concentrate on my one pound a week, and hope it’s more. Lion can concentrate on his. And we’ll meet back on Saturday morning to see how we’ve done. Obviously my weigh loss is important “only” for my health. Lion’s is important for his health and his butt.
Lion doesn’t want to exercise right away because he’s older and worried about heart attack and stroke. He said he’ll just start walking more. I didn’t expect either of us to go out and run a marathon next weekend. Walking is exercise. We do have a treadmill. Since we’ve been largely sedentary for so long, we need to ease our way back into this. Walking works perfectly for that. We can go as slow or as fast as we need to. There’s no reason either of us has to press 200 pounds right away. If that’s a goal we set, we’ll get there eventually. Baby steps. Just like enforced chastity and FLR.
