I have a self-imposed two and a half months to lose weight. My daughter is graduating from high school and I’m tired of looking fat in pictures. I know losing some weight is no guarantee I won’t still look fat, but maybe I’ll look a little better. Still, I’m less than motivated for the task.

As Lion said in his post, he’s trying to get in better shape. His initial statement to me was that he’ll have a Lion tamer at home and a Lion trainer at the gym. However, at the very end of his post he seems to suggest that he wants me to monitor his progress. The thought crossed my mind last night that I should contact his trainer and ask her to send me progress reports. She could chalk it up to my being either a concerned wife or a controlling wife. “What a bitch! She wants to know everything this poor guy does.” Poor guy indeed.

On the plus side, if Lion gets into shape I could tell him to drop and give me twenty push ups as a punishment. That might be interesting. To me at least. Not so much to him. Or when I make him stand in the corner he might have to hold something heavy. There could be endless possibilities.

I’d settle for Lion being in better shape and feeling better. We both need that. I’m not sure I really want to crack the whip on his exercise program. We’ll have to see how it goes. If he starts slacking I may need to step in but it’s too soon to tell right now.

Rosie the Riveter
I bet Rosie the Riveter had a strong whomping arm.

So many of my posts seem to be about getting back on track. I’m horrible with consistency. In this case, we’re both at fault. We were doing well with eating better and now we’ve just reverted to old habits. Carbs are our downfall. It seems everything good is loaded with carbs. And carbs are what we need to cut way back on right now.

We were largely successful when we went on our low carb diet the first time. What we noticed right off the bat was that Lion stopped nodding off so much. He’d had a habit of falling asleep after dinner. We think our high carb diet had a lot to do with that. I’ve noticed if I eat a lot of carbs at work, I’ll be face down on my desk after lunch. Obviously all this napping and tiredness have an effect on sex.

This time around, we’re doing it mostly because we’ve seen the scale inch its way back up and our clothes fit a little more snugly. We have been more tired lately but I wouldn’t necessarily attribute that to carbs. And our sex life hasn’t suffered because of either of us needing naps. We just want to be around longer for each other. And it will be much nicer to reach the top of the stairs without being out of breath. And I may not be as achy if my body isn’t trying to lug around excess weight.

I’ve made a big effort to be more consistent with play and punishment for Lion. Now it’s time to make an even bigger effort to lose weight and get back into shape. I’ve warned Lion, though, that if I start lifting weights I may have more stamina in my whomping arm. Harder and longer punishments mean a greater possibility of bruises. At the very least, redder cheeks and a Lion who needs to find a more comfortable position to sit. I think it’s a chance he’s willing to take. [Lion — I can’t wait!]

Lion escaped punishment this morning by losing weight. I gained about what he lost, thus proving that weight isn’t really ever lost so much as it’s passed from one person to another. I also think that I’ve been eating more since he’s gotten home than I did while he was away. And I was eating salads versus “regular” food which won’t help with weight loss. In short, Lion is sabotaging me. I’m kidding. He’s not doing anything on purpose. But he is quick to tell me when I have a snack since that adds extra calories, even if it is a banana. What I really need to do is exercise more than just making more trips up and down the stairs at work.

On Thursday, Lion worked from home while his car was being repaired. Since he was home, I thought it would be the perfect time for him to wear the new cage. That way, if he needed to get out of it in a hurry, he could. We both forgot before I left the house, so he asked in an email if he could remove the Jail Bird himself. It was the first time he’s ever removed it. He said it was a bit difficult. Good! That’s one thing I don’t want it to be user-friendly; at least for him.

When I removed the new cage last night, he had similar sore spots as the first time he wore it for a few hours. He’d smoothed out the texture on most of the ring, but he must have missed a few spots. He asked to be wild last night to let it heal. Of course, I said yes. This morning he says he thinks he could wear the Jail Bird. He’s still sore, so I’m letting him remain wild. I also relieved him of wearing the training collar so it wouldn’t irritate the area either. Don’t worry. I’ll be keeping a close eye on him.

It will be interesting to see if Lion’s good behavior holds even though he’s not wearing the training collar. I don’t usually zap him while we’re out, since he seems to mind his manners. Will he be a brat without the collar? We have a lot of chores to do this weekend. That’s plenty of opportunities for him to slip up. I know he’ll try to be a good boy. Let’s see if he makes it.

This morning we had our first weigh-in. Now we have a starting point by which to judge all weigh-ins. My first thought was to go with a pound a week loss. It seems to be a rational start. Lion thinks it should be a pound a week, but have it average over a month. I told him the other day that if he loses two pounds in one week, that extra pound cannot be transferred to the next week. To me, that would be averaging a weight loss. I realize that we’ll each have our ups and downs. Maybe one week we’ll lose those two pounds and then stay steady for a week or two before going up or down again. So the compromise we came up with is that Lion has to at least maintain his weight from one week to the next. If he gains, he loses, in the form of punishment.

I was going to make a table showing each of our weights as of the Saturday morning weigh-in. The date, Lion’s name and weight, and my name and weight. It will be easy to see our progress. But no. Lion had to make a spreadsheet, because, I guess, if it’s on the computer, it’s much easier than simple pen and paper near the scale where it’s readily available for all to see. That’s okay. I’ll still make my table and keep it near the scale. He can have his spreadsheet. To each his own.

Lion’s other caveat is that I should lose weight more quickly because I’m just starting out and he started losing weight a while ago. Like my twenty pounds, as of today, don’t count as previous weight loss. It doesn’t really matter. I’m going to concentrate on my one pound a week, and hope it’s more. Lion can concentrate on his. And we’ll meet back on Saturday morning to see how we’ve done. Obviously my weigh loss is important “only” for my health. Lion’s is important for his health and his butt.

Lion doesn’t want to exercise right away because he’s older and worried about heart attack and stroke. He said he’ll just start walking more. I didn’t expect either of us to go out and run a marathon next weekend. Walking is exercise. We do have a treadmill. Since we’ve been largely sedentary for so long, we need to ease our way back into this. Walking works perfectly for that. We can go as slow or as fast as we need to. There’s no reason either of us has to press 200 pounds right away. If that’s a goal we set, we’ll get there eventually. Baby steps. Just like enforced chastity and FLR.