I haven’t written any fiction since March. The avalanche of rejections got to me. All those agents can’t be wrong. Can they? Some people say that if you are truly a writer, you will write no matter what. Maybe I’m not really a writer. The lack of interest in my writing suggests that I may be delusional.

The other day, I had a thought. Maybe the problem is that I’m trying to write commercial fiction that neatly fits into a genre I like to read. I’ve been told that my writing has a good voice. Maybe, just maybe, that voice had nothing to say. I like light mysteries with quirky characters. I like female protagonists. That’s what I wrote.

I got feedback from one editor.

She said that I had the wrong protagonist. She thought that if I made one of my male characters the protagonist, the manuscript would be more marketable. I hated that idea when I read it. She had a point. The market is flooded with cute, quirky female detectives. I don’t need to create a protagonist who turns me on. I need to use my voice to reflect me, not someone I’m attracted to.

Many years ago, I had a great late-night snack with a famous sci-fi author. I asked him about his approach to writing. He said, “Never get sucked into your story. Stay above it and consciously create the emotions you want your readers to feel.” Oh, yeah. Those were profound words.

Consider what you read on the Web. Most of the kinky fiction is created by people who write what arouses them. The words describe physical activities and resulting emotional reactions. The appeal is limited to the people who also get turned on by the same things. It’s not a bad formula for a narrow market, but it is self-limited by the author’s involvement in the story.

What if I write something in my voice?

What if I call on my real-life experiences to drive a male character in a plot I design to involve reader without worrying about fitting my favorite genre? What will happen if nobody wants to buy that story? That’s the scary question. So far, I’ve written stories and created characters that I like, but don’t represent me. What happens if I invest myself and reflect who I am in my protagonist? Scary.

Some people say I should self-publish my work. the problem with that is I have no clue how to let the world know the book exists. Worse, if I self-publish something and then decide to go through traditional publishing on my next work, the agents and editors will judge my marketability on how well my self-published book sold. Since I know that I can’t promote a book I publish myself, chances are very good I won’t sell more than a few hundred copies. Not a good reference on my resume.

That’s what has kept me sending my query letters to agents. I’ve decided to start writing again. This time it will be my male voice. Maybe someone will want to buy this attempt.

We had liftoff! Friday, after Mrs. Lion finished work, I showered, and I gave myself a .35 ml Trimix injection. Within ten minutes, things started happening. I was getting hard! Wow! It was a turn-on feeling my penis start to inflate. My erection wasn’t a full woody, but it was still nice. I wasn’t hard enough to fuck, but that didn’t stop Mrs. Lion. She went to work with her mouth, and within fifteen minutes, I had a nice orgasm.

It had been eleven days since my last ejaculation. This time, there wasn’t as much semen. It felt wonderful. My penis remained partially hard for about two hours. It bent easily, so there was no risk of damage, no matter how long it stayed that way. I think I am getting close to the best dose of the drug. Next time I’ll go to .40 ml. The goal is an insertion-ready boner for at least a half hour.

Mrs. Lion pointed out that even at the current level, I was OK. I disagree. Anyway, the end is near. Thanks to medical science I will be able to be ridden again. The injection didn’t hurt at all. I’ve stopped using the Inject-Ease. It’s too difficult for me to position correctly. The needle is so thin that it is painless. Trimix is an excellent way to get back into action.

We haven’t discussed how this new routine will affect our play. If I need .40 ml of Trimix per boner, I will get about twelve from the 5 ml vial. That comes out to about $10 each. Compared with the boner pills (Viagra and Cialis), which are now available as inexpensive generics, this is expensive. Teasing sessions might be too expensive to continue. We can afford a boner every week-t0-ten-days. Mrs. Lion may need to figure out how to manage sex inside this schedule.

It’s likely that my erections will last at least an hour, plenty of time for BDSM or other activities. Of course, Spankardy, Zapardy, and other games don’t require boners to play. We just have to get back to being more playful. Mrs. Lion’s shoulder has been bothering her, and that doesn’t make it easy for her to be playful.

We’ll have to figure out how we can restore our more playful lifestyle. I’m happy that sex is no longer a problem.

Thursday night didn’t turn out as Mrs. Lion predicted. By the time she finished work, she was tired. After resting for a while, she prepared dinner. She commented that it was too late to start sex once we finished. Instead, we watched “80 For Brady.” It’s a combo sports story, chick flick. We both liked it, except that it was about the Patriots winning. We both want them to lose. Nevertheless, it’s a cute story with good acting.

Our readers in other countries are taking advantage of our translations. I’m happy to see that. I wish I knew how good the machine translations are. Hopefully, it makes our site more fun for non-English readers. I’m definitely getting horny. Maybe this weekend, if Mrs. Lion gets more sleep, we can have some fun.

pumping for pleasure

my penis in vacuum penis pump
That’s my cock pulled into an erection by the penis pump

I started my penis vacuum exercise again. I have a cool electric penis pump that does a good, safe job of expanding the spongy tissue that creates erections. As we age, that tissue loses elasticity and makes getting good erections more difficult. When saw the doctor a week ago, my blood pressure was quite low. This is a very good thing in terms of health but not wonderful when it comes to erections. The penis is inflated by blood pumped into it during arousal. If blood pressure is low, inflation is not as good.

Naturally, I want to present Mrs. Lion with a nice, hard cock to suck on. The vacuum pump is supposed to help. I can’t think of any objective way to discover if it actually works. Erections depend on many factors, not just the condition of the erectile tissue. I’m operating on the theory that every little bit helps.

Mrs. Lion wrote about the stress she feels due to issues with her son (“Play With The Lion“). She does her best to hide her feelings, but it is obvious that she is worried. I don’t want to add more pressure because I’m horny. I’ll be fine if I have to wait. I want her to feel good. That has to be the first priority.

The weekend wasn’t very good for either of us. I spent most of it in bed. Mrs. Lion was also tired and out of sorts. She completed the necessary chores and rested as much as she could. I think our weight loss program is affecting us.  We also changed some meds that may be responsible for some of this. Needless to say, sex wasn’t even mentioned. We’re both up and about now. I’m not sure that means we will be frisky tonight.

A few weeks ago, Mrs. Lion ordered pizzas from John’s Pizza on Bleecker Street in Greenwich Village, New York. I lived in the Village for many years. John’s is arguably the best pizza in a city famous for that yummy treat.  I used to love going to John’s at least once a week. There were always lines out into the street waiting to get in. It was worth the wait. When we moved to the Pacific Northwest, I was sure that I would never taste John’s pizza again.

Mrs. Lion is famous for her web searches. She discovered that John’s pizza is being offered by Goldbelly. This company sends treats from all over the country. We’ve bought food from them before. Mrs. Lion ordered four pies. They arrived frozen with dry ice. We had one last night. It was wonderful. Well, pretty wonderful. My sense of taste has diminished. I think that is a (temporary?) side effect of my new med. Still, it was great. John’s makes the best crust.

I’m something of a pizza snob. I’ve visited the pizzeria that invented pizza in Naples. The pies are made in a wood-fired oven that’s over a hundred years old. Their crust is softer and chewier than the New York pies. I’ve eaten at Uno’s in Chicago many times. They make the best deep-dish pizza I have ever had. Goldbelly’s version is supposed to be from Uno’s but doesn’t taste as good. If you go to Uno’s, try their salad. It’s something special. We have a small restaurant chain here in the Seattle area that makes authentic Neopolitan pizza. They are certified by some sort of Neopolitan organization that assures the product is authentic. It is!

I suppose it makes a strange sort of sense to talk about food today. I’m substituting things I like that go into my mouth while I’m waiting to put something Mrs. Lion likes into her mouth. Sex and food are both sensual experiences. The one I like best isn’t fattening.