Working back in the office is more distracting than working from home. I’d think it would be the other way around. I also have a more challenging time figuring out what day it is when I’m in the office. I guess I’m just backward. The other day I had a headache and was concerned I was getting a cold. It’s also interesting that I didn’t feel sick until I went back to work in the office. I was OK at home. Oh well.

I wasn’t sure Lion would want to play last night. He was snoozing when I got home. We watched a nature program, and I think he was a little distracted, but he was still getting hard. I finally asked if he wanted to come out from under the blankets. He did. I know I said I was going to start anal training, but I haven’t so far. I’ve been running some errands after work, so instead of walking in the door and snuggling in with Lion, I’ve had to take care of a few things. By the time I get the dinner dishes done, I’ve forgotten all about anal training.

Lion seemed excited enough to make it to the edge, but sometimes he’s hard to start with and fizzles out as we go. We have a theory that he needs a sort of orgasm training. I joked that I’d make him come every night like I did when we first started male chastity. I knew he probably wouldn’t be able to do that, but I did want to encourage more orgasms. With that in mind, unless I get too tired or he gets soft, I’ve been marching toward the edge.

Luckily, Lion stayed hard and started making I’m-getting-closer noises. It was taking a while, and I was sweating, but I got him there. He usually asks if he produced much cum. It wasn’t a lot, but I did get some. I assume he’ll make less if he gets more orgasms, but I’ve never been able to figure out the volume versus wait time. I want to say his wait time was seven days this time around. Does that mean if he comes in five days, he’ll have less? Not necessarily. There doesn’t seem to be a correlation. And it really doesn’t matter. While I love getting a mouthful of Lion cream filling, it’s more important to me that it feels good for him. I’ll get my yummy goodness eventually.

Tonight might just be snuggling and idly playing with my weenie, but I don’t expect much interest. I may be wrong. I encourage all interest. We are in training, after all.

W

When we started out with enforced male chastity over six years ago, we didn’t have any idea how life would change for us. Now that we are approaching our 4000th post, I guess I’ve grown more reflective. Change has a way of sneaking up on me. Something starts out as a sexy novelty, like male chastity. It feels weird and fun in a sexy way. Over time, the novelty wears off. By then, it’s become a habit. It’s just the way we are.

I’ve been required to be naked at home for so long I just don’t notice. I have learned to stand back when cooking to avoid hot fat hitting my protrucing penis.

This came home to me on Sunday morning. We were lying together in bed watching “In the Kitchen with David” on QVC. We like to see the new products and enjoy the silly demos. The show is a combination of, “I can’t believe anybody would want that!”, and “Let’s order that.” Yesterday we ended up with some delicious cinnamon bread and a couple of sliding stands for our coffee pots. By the way, I have decided to start adding information about exactly what we use to do things.

Apropos of nothing, Mrs. Lion turned to me and said,

“You forgot something, didn’t you?”

I thought for a second and nothing came to mind. I gave Mrs. Lion a blank look. She reminded me that I didn’t set up the coffeepot. One of my daily chores is to add water to the coffeepot put a new filter in and put the washed coffeepot into the coffee maker. I replied,

“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

In a very matter-of-fact voice, Mrs. Lion said,

“Yes you are. You also forgot something else. Yesterday was punishment day.”

“Oh shit.”

I asked her what was going to happen. In that same matter-of-fact tone she said you are going to be spanked. I made a vague reference to the fact that these were minor offenses. She simply said,

“You forgot punishment day.”

I didn’t say anything else. Clearly, forgetting to set up the coffee maker is a misdemeanor, but to Mrs. Lion continuing to forget punishment day on Saturday has become a more serious offense.

Cuisinart coffeemaker that grinds beans and brews coffee automatically. We use Peter’s Blend from Porto Rico Coffee in New York. They ship.

That’s what got me reflecting. It wasn’t that I’ve earned a spanking. It was that this entire process has become a routine event. There is nothing notable about earning and delivering punishments. They are simply part of our lives. I did ask when I was going to be spanked. Mrs. Lion told me it would be today (on Sunday). That’s it. I will also get a punishment for forgetting the coffee maker. I suppose I’ll find out what that is when she decides to administer it.

In most other people’s homes, this would be a fairly notable event. How many husbands and wives routinely receive and administer punishments? No discussion is required or expected. At the proper time Mrs. Lion will tell me to get into the bedroom. I will assume the position and she will punish me. Routine. No different than making the bed or letting the dog out.

Since we have been together, I have had a rule that I’m not allowed to wear clothes while home. There are exceptions: I can wear a T-shirt if I’m cold, and if we have company, I can be dressed. This is so ingrained that it’s not even noted anymore. Only at times like yesterday morning, when I’m thinking about how things were a decade earlier, I realize that things other people might consider incredibly odd are routine parts of our lives.

We aren’t the only people doing things like this. In a recent post on another blog, the blogger noted that her husband isn’t allowed to wear clothes at home either. That blog’s been around about as long as ours.

Over the years, we’ve evolved these practices to work for us. It’s true, while being spanked maybe routine, I still think about it and I am not pleased that sitting down tomorrow will be uncomfortable. I also feel angry that I forgot such an obvious pair of chores. I’m going to work much harder to avoid making those mistakes again.

The Hanson Ferrule paddle in bloodwood. Ouch!
The Hanson Ferrule paddle. This bloodwood model is the most effective spanker she owns. If Bloodwood isn’t available, they usually have a 1/2″ Maple. Select the thickest, hardest wood for best results. They have a model with holes. Totally unnecessary. Ouch!

That last paragraph is a very good example of how something is working for us. A year ago, I would’ve been focusing on how hot it was to be spanked on my bare bottom. I might even get a little aroused thinking about it. Now, I think about how simple it would’ve been to just prepare the coffeepot and remind Mrs. Lion of punishment day. Stupid lion!

That’s not to say I’m not going to forget again. But I felt a really strong incentive to be have a better memory. I know that a spanking of Mrs. Lion’s new variety is really horrible. It’s serious enough to incentivize me to be a lot more careful about what I do. As I reflect, I realize that this is exactly the reason she does it. Domestic discipline (FLRD) is fully integrated into our marriage. It’s no joke.

I’ve learned that it takes a while to transition from novelty to an integral part of our relationship. If something we do has potential to improve our lives, we have learned to pursue it even though in the beginning it’s difficult. The best example of this is Mrs. Lion and spanking. She’s evolved from a timid, gentle spanker, to a full-fledged disciplinarian. She has told me that her focus is to effectively send her message. She’s doing a good job. She’s tried a lot of different paddles. I think she settled on one that is absolutely the most painful. She’s not worried about me having a good time anymore. She’s interested in helping me learn to do what I’m supposed to.

We are still in the very early stages of Mrs. Lion punishing me for doing things that annoy her. I can think of several times that I cut her off or changed the subject before she could finish her thought. She didn’t do more than growl a little when I did. I’m not sure why she didn’t punish me. She said she would even for the slightest thing. I guess more work is needed there.

Anyway, my Sunday reflections feel good. We’ve changed a lot over the last six years. We’ve made lifestyle changes that neither of us considered in the past. They’ve successfully helped me to change, helped Mrs. Lion express her feelings, and helped us keep the romantic fires burning. I guess in our house we use a paddle to light the Yule Log.

It’s one thing to assign a punishment, another to remember to do it

mouth soaping reminder
Mrs. Lion has forgotten to soap my mouth for two weeks. We are trying a reminder on the bathroom mirror to help her.

It seems like we publish a potpourri of unrelated, sexual, power-exchange posts. We are chronicling our travels in the somewhat murky area of sexual play and power exchange. Most recently both Mrs. Lion and I have been writing about my anal training. The initial goal is for Mrs. Lion to be able to get her entire hand up my ass. We always, at least until very recently, believed this was impossible. Over the years, Mrs. Lion has tried and has on occasion, managed to get three fingers up inside me. She has been successful getting larger dildos and, however. Anyway, that’s not what I’m writing about today.

What I’m writing about is the importance to me, at least, of consistent activities that stretch me, so to speak (see what I did there?). The objective isn’t so much to inflict discomfort or make me feel small and humiliated. It’s too change me in ways that surprise and sometimes delight Mrs. Lion. Since she isn’t very interested in sex for herself, her creativity has to move in the direction of things she can train me to do. I think the concept of being trained is very exciting. I love that she does it.

The other night she wondered aloud, “What happens after I finally get my hand up your ass?”

I had no answer. I certainly wasn’t going to suggest she go for two hands, then two hands and a foot, etc. I know people do things like that, but I think one hand halfway to the elbow is probably sufficient demonstration of intimate domination for me. Actually, I do have an answer for her. I know a couple who have been doing advanced anal play for decades. To my knowledge, they never went past getting one hand into his butt.

Instead, on an almost-daily basis she would get that hand up inside him. After some practice, it didn’t take very long. It was a sort of intimate, emotional, sexual experience for them both. There was something they could do almost any time they were alone. I could see us doing this too. It’s almost a sort of sexual hand shake. Well, maybe not. What it is though, is an intimate connection. It’s also a highly emotional message sent to me about my role, at least my sexual role, in our relationship.

In fact, maybe being fisted is a foundational piece of the sort of need I have. I want to feel Mrs. Lion’s control. I really love it when she trains me. Correction: I love it when I think about it. The actual training is frequently quite uncomfortable. One reason we have a domestic discipline component to our relationship is that it gives Mrs. Lion the ability to do more than just try to please me with these activities. She also has a serious route to disciplining me and training me to improve my respectful love of her. On that subject, ever since Mrs. Lion agreed to punish even minor emotional infractions, apparently I haven’t committed one. How about that? I’m sure my streak won’t last much longer.

More and more of our belongings turn up as Mrs. Lion excavates the dozens of cartons we packed for our move. We still haven’t found my shock collar. It’s a toy that we haven’t used in a long time but we both mention it now and then. I suspect Mrs. Lion wants to give it some use once she finds it.

Sometimes it feels that our progress is almost glacial. It moves very, very slowly. Then, out of the blue, we both begin to feel more motivated and stuff starts happening again. The bottom line is that it’s way too easy for each of us to get wrapped up in all the other stuff we have to do. It feels like taking the time for other activities, like fisting, takes too much of the day away from what we really need to get going. The fact is that’s absolutely wrong. A fisting session, for example, takes less than 15 minutes. Either of us, or should I say both of us, can spare that at a most any point when we are together.

It’s much more about resolve than it is scheduling. And that gets me back to the whole concept of training. Mrs. Lion knows the training requires consistent effort. It has to be a front-of-mind activity. Our usual play, on the other hand, can easily recede into the background. We both regret it when that happens. For example, I’ve been owed a mouth-soaping for two weeks now. Mrs. Lion will mention it and then forget to do it. She thought it might be a good idea to put a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror. I had a similar idea and I printed a picture of a woman soaping a man. I taped this to the bathroom mirror. Perhaps this reminder will help.

Maybe the same is true about all the other stuff we talk about and manage to forget to actually do. I haven’t worn that spiky jockstrap since I first tried it on. Again, reminder is needed. Maybe we need to sit down and have a little meeting and then ask our electronic personal assistant (Alexa) to remind her of various activities at appropriate times during the week.

I don’t think it’s a matter of getting priorities rearranged. I think it’s more about being reminded appropriately. I have been doing some other minding, but I don’t like to because it feels like I’m topping from the bottom. I guess we’ll have a meeting and talk about all this and see if we can’t figure out a solution that works for her. I guarantee it will work for me. I don’t get a choice in these things.