If you read Lion’s post this morning, you’ve seen the results of my first attempt at the spanking technique he wrote about. I’m not sure I did it exactly as shown in the video. For one thing, Lion isn’t over my knee. We don’t seem to fit together well that way. I also think my swats were delivered more rapid fire. I didn’t pause between them. At least not between most of them. When I thought about it, I slowed down.

Lion asked if I like the new technique. To me, there doesn’t seem to be much difference. Obviously, my way is a burst of ten swats on one cheek and then ten on the other. Last night I alternated swats between cheeks. Sure, I don’t need to count to ten before moving on, but isn’t the end result the same? It’s not like I had an aha moment and decided this is the way to go from now on. I’m undecided. When I asked Lion if he preferred the new way to the old, he couldn’t answer. He said it was difficult to figure it out. Mmhmm. Exactly what I was thinking.

I have no idea how long I swatted him or even how many swats I delivered. I guess I should have kept track. My guess is it was well over five minutes. Lion got very red and I think some bruises might have formed. He said he definitely felt it. However, he did have a few thoughts on how to improve.

lion's spanked butt
This tender area was missed. The lower, center area is where he will feel it whenever he sits.

He noticed that I hit mostly on the sides. From my perspective, I was hitting on the lower part of his cheeks – his “sit spot”. Apparently I need to figure out how to spread his cheeks apart somehow so I’m hitting where I think I’m hitting. He suggested I hit across the crack. That might help, but I think spreading will help more.

The other thought he had was that I don’t announce when the beating will start. I guess he can’t tell when the warm up has ended and the “real” swats are coming. I assumed he could tell when the swats got harder and/or faster. I’ll have to figure out a way to delineate the different swats.

Lion said he thought I was using a fairly light paddle. I used the hairbrush paddle. He said it’s a mean one. For some reason it didn’t feel mean to him at the time. When I picked it, I knew it was a mean one. I almost chose a different one because the hair brush is short. I’ve been picking paddles with a longer handle lately. Maybe I should have gone with my gut.

To be fair, I’ll keep trying this new spanking technique until I figure out if I like it or hate it. I’m not committing to using one technique over the other even if I like the new way. I like to change things up to keep Lion guessing. I can’t let him know what evil tricks I have up my sleeve.

There’s more than one way to spank a lion. Over the years, we, well, I should say, Mrs. Lion, has tried different techniques. Most of these styles have been at my suggestion. This may seem odd since she is the spanker and very much in charge. Let’s say that she isn’t inclined to research the subject, and I am. She is currently using a technique developed when she was experimenting to see how much force she should use during a spanking. The idea was to train me to hold still for the full duration of a painful spanking. Her experiment was to see just how hard she could hit initially and how best to increase the force to maximize my discomfort.

Well, she learned a lot and applied it well. Out of idle curiosity, I decided to take a look on the web to see what other styles female spankers might be using. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do it. As long as a result is a thoroughly unhappy male with a very sore bottom, the spanking is successful. The art, if you can call it that, is how to build the spanking up so that the male accepts very strong swats that he will feel for days.

When Mrs. Lion takes the time to perform a thorough spanking, it hurts to sit for at least three days. Usually, she stops short of this point. What interested me when I did my “research” was that I didn’t see anyone use the technique she’s developed. That doesn’t mean the technique is incorrect. It just means that apparently, the professional and amateur spankers in the videos haven’t discovered it.

Mrs. Lion delivers 10 swats to a single spot on one cheek. Then she does the same on the other cheek. She returns to the first cheek and delivers 10 more at a slightly different location. She repeats this pattern for most of the spanking. She has recently been moving on to hitting a very hard swat on each cheek with about two or three seconds pause between each. That gives me time to absorb it and settle back. It’s an effective technique.

A traditional spanking technique. Mrs. Lion hasn’t used this one.

The video I put on this post uses a different technique. It’s fairly popular. The spanker delivers one swat to each cheek and repeats. She increases the force of the swats as the male grows able to accept harder blows. She also increases the speed she delivers the swats as the spanking progresses. This looks like a promising variation. It seems to adhere more closely to the technique advocated by the Disciplinary Wives Club. The advantage is that it allows the spanker to cover a lot of real estate right from the start. It also lets her build up more rapidly since the grouped swats tend to amplify the sensation even when they’re not very hard.

No matter what technique is used, there is one common denominator: the force of the blows starts relatively gentle and increases in velocity and force as the male builds up a tolerance. This may seem counterintuitive. After all, spankings are punishment, and they are supposed to hurt. Unless he is tied down, he will not remain in position unless he is given a chance to grow accustomed to being spanked.

Mrs. Lion tried the new technique/ length last night.

This isn’t a bad thing. Even the more gentle opening swats hurt. From my experience, the value of a spanking has more to do with how long it continues than how hard any particular swats are. Once the force and speed increase, all I want is for the spanking to end. When it goes past when I think it should end, that is probably when the real punishment begins. Once Mrs. Lion gets going, I am very sorry I put myself into this position. All I can think about is how I want to avoid this in the future and how badly I wanted to end.

If there is one thing that I think Mrs. Lion could improve, it is to extend her punishment length. Time is my enemy when I am being spanked. In fact, I think time is much more of an issue than the actual paddling. From what I’ve read, other people who get spanked feel the same way. All they can think about is when it will end. When it fails to end, and I’m sure I can’t take any more, that’s when the real message begins to be sent.

I think it’s difficult for Mrs. Lion to manage spanking time. The last spanking I got was delivered while a five-minute timer was set. That was a very effective spanking. I couldn’t help but wonder when that beep would sound. Afterward, I realized that if Mrs. Lion simply stopped the timer and kept up the spanking, it would have a greater impact on me.

We’ve decided that any spanking, whether as punishment or because Mrs. Lion decides I should just get one, should always be the same intensity. I know she plans to give me a “just because” spanking soon. It might allow her to experiment with time as well as force. There is a practical limit when it comes to time. If the spanking goes on long enough, my endorphins will build up, and I won’t feel the pain matter how hard Mrs. Lion swats. Fortunately for her, that takes a long time for me to reach that point. If she keeps increasing the force and speed, it’s unlikely my endorphins will catch up.

As I write this, I realize that it’s odd that we need to discuss spanking technique. In past generations, corporal punishment technique was passed on from parent to child. Children were spanked by their parents and grandparents. They learned the techniques of affective punishment by being on the receiving end. Nobody had to discuss how to do it. Mrs. Lion’s parents did not spank her. I was never spanked either. We didn’t spank our children. We didn’t use any physical punishments with them. That means we have to discover and learn on our own. Mrs. Lion has been doing an excellent job learning.

When I first thought about being in a disciplinary marriage, I imagined Mrs. Lion would use spanking as a kind of emotional pressure release valve. I thought that instead of bottling up anger toward me, she would spank me as a way of letting me know that I upset her and getting the feeling out. That hasn’t worked the way I thought.

I don’t know what made me think that she would change a lifelong pattern of withdrawing when angry because she has a license to paddle my bottom. Talk about a male fantasy! As I wrote in my post yesterday, domestic discipline is more of a game. Catch the lion breaking a rule and paddle him. She enjoys catching me. The spanking is more of a way to keep me from breaking the rule, as well as a penalty for getting caught.

The game works almost too well. I don’t break the rules very often. I guess Mrs. Lion needs to give me more easier-to-break rules to keep the game interesting. So far, she hasn’t thought of any. Domestic discipline still isn’t helping with the more serious problem of expressing anger at me. It was unrealistic for me to think it would help, at least in the beginning. I’m happy to say that Mrs. Lion has made some progress in this area. She sometimes snarls or growls at me when I piss her off.

This is a big deal. When she expresses her anger directly, I am on notice that I did something to upset her. That helps me to learn to avoid that behavior. More importantly, she has an outlet for her feelings. She can feel safe letting me know she is angry at me. She knows I won’t run away or retaliate. I think that adds depth and security to our relationship. I hope that this feeling of safety will eventually let her add my behavioral problems to the game.

Is catching me interrupting her very different than catching me eating before she starts? Objectively it isn’t. Emotionally it is totally different. That’s the gap so difficult to close. Translating that pang of annoyance into an “I caught you!” has the benefit of reducing a difficult, “Am I being fair if I growl?” into the same reaction to discovering that I didn’t set up the coffee pot. Sure, the coffee pot situation has no emotional loading. I forgot to do a chore. I thought that if the annoying behavior is considered a similar slip, dealing with it might be more comfortable.

That doesn’t mean there is no emotional response. It also doesn’t mean that she won’t worry that maybe the annoyance isn’t my fault. That may never go away. It does mean that the rule has nothing to do with whether or not there are other mitigating factors. It’s no longer about being fair. It’s like the coffee pot. I didn’t set it up, and that means I get punished. I interrupted. Whether or not Mrs. Lion was already in a bad mood is beside the point. She caught me, and I get punished.

It’s as simple as that. The way I see it, the punishment isn’t a consequence of upsetting her. Ideally, it should be. But that is just asking for too much all at once. The penalty is a consequence of a specific rule I broke. It is absolutely no different than eating first. There may be a reason why I ate first. My vision isn’t good, and I can’t tell if she started. That doesn’t matter. I can always ask. The same is true of interrupting, for example. It doesn’t matter that I thought Mrs. Lion completed her thought. I could have waited a bit more to make sure she had. The rule was broken. It doesn’t matter why. That’s the entire point of our game. We agreed that consistency works best.

The other strong argument for consistently punishing behavioral issues like interrupting is that I need to be spanked regularly. Punishment for an iffy interruption is going to benefit me even if it isn’t technically justified. It’s a flag on the play, and the ruling on the field stands.

A lot of people misunderstand what it means to have a disciplinary relationship. The people who fantasize about being in the disciplined role imagine that they are managed strictly like small children. The main reason for this is that being spanked is the primary sexual attraction of this arrangement. I certainly imagined myself that way before we started.

The big problem with the fantasies is that they’re about an activity, spanking. If you want to be spanked, ask your partner to spank you. You’d be surprised how many men and women can be convinced to wield a paddle. “Oh, no,” you say. You want to feel the authority of your partner and get spanked because you earned a punishment. That’s what I wanted.

The problem with making the fantasy real is similar to getting a partner to lock you into a chastity device. Until you ask for it, your partner has absolutely no idea why she would want to do such a thing. Male chastity is easier. It doesn’t require much work and doesn’t inflict pain. Adding female control is another matter entirely.

How many women independently think about controlling their partners? Not many, I assure you. Even less consider punishing their mates like children. It’s true that many wives, including Mrs. Lion, refer to their husbands as their oldest kid. But that doesn’t mean they actually want to treat their husbands like children. Marriage is not easier for a wife who has the added burden of managing a grown toddler.

you can make it happen

Don’t give up on having a disciplinary relationship. Recognize that the reality isn’t going to be like the fantasy. We’ve been in our disciplinary marriage for over three years now. We’ve been married fifteen. We’ve been successful because Mrs. Lion wisely realized that taking over control of me is a full-time job that she doesn’t want. That made sense to me. I didn’t want that either. When I thought about it, I realized that what I really wanted was a set of rules that Mrs. Lion established. Failure to follow them results in a spanking.

This is the model most disciplinary relationships follow. It isn’t complicated. In the beginning, we discussed possible rules, and Mrs. Lion came up with a few simple ones, like waiting for her to eat first. She got very good at spotting infractions and made sure I get spanked if I break a rule. Over time she’s learned to be an effective spanker. She also gets out of practice. When she’s on her game, I dread being spanked. When she’s a bit lax, I don’t worry about getting into position.

I’ve asked her to expand my rules to include things I do that annoy her. She’s resisted enforcing them. Since she’s in charge, it’s her decision what she chooses to implement. My behavior has improved, and I don’t earn spankings often. We’ve decided that I can get “just because” spankings when I haven’t broken a specific rule in a while. These are the same as punishment spankings. We haven’t done this yet, but when Mrs. Lion announces I have one coming, I’m sure I will dread it.

like a lamb to slaughter

This brings up an interesting question: Even though I want spankings, why would I meekly expose my bare bottom when I know I will be howling in pain? It seems counter-intuitive. The reason is embarrassingly simple. I’m turned on thinking about being spanked. My sexual reaction to the idea of spanking marches me willingly to the gallows. Stupid lion! I’m sure this amuses Mrs. Lion.

My sexual connection to spanking also drives me to encourage her to become a more effective spanker. Even though I know that I will hate the experience, I want her to push me further. Foolish lion! I know I will be sorry as I bend over the spanking pillow to receive a paddling. It doesn’t matter. I want an authentic experience.

That’s the key to understanding what I want. I’m asking for authentic adult spankings. I want them associated with behavioral offenses that Mrs. Lion catches. If I manage to avoid breaking any rules for more than a week or two, then I want a spanking as a reminder of why I need to continue to behave well. Mrs. Lion is in charge in the sense that she can make any rules she wishes, and she can punish me for any reason she feels I need correction. She doesn’t have to run my life or start a new career as a lion tamer.