Over the years, I’ve reviewed a few male masturbators, the industry term for devices designed to get a man off. This isn’t your daddy’s vibrator. The Amovibe Albertine actually sucks cock. No kidding, it does. The manufacturer used the technology developed for penis pumps to realistically suck a penis.

Penis pumps are devices that include an airtight container that goes over the penis and a pump to remove air. When some of the air is removed around the penis, it expands. The lower air pressure allows blood to flow into the penis and make it hard. Using a device like this regularly will enlarge the cock, usually making it thicker. The result isn’t very aesthetically pleasing, but it is larger.

Anyway, the Albertine has a small electric vacuum pump and two bullet vibrators. You insert your penis (soft or hard) into the device and start it. The vacuum pump draws the penis in while the vibrators stimulate it. That’s the theory. The device is programmed to suck and release at intervals. The intensity of sucking also changes. The Albertine comes with four vacuum modes and ten vibe modes.

The vibrator patterns are the standard ones that most modern vibrators have. I’m not terribly fond of any of them. But I’m spoiled. The vacuum settings are interesting. My favorite is a steady suck and release pattern. The intensity of the sucking is moderate but enough to draw my cock in. One of the five patterns includes a very powerful suck that drew me in with a good amount of force. It felt good. The other sucking patterns were a bit odd and not too exciting for me.

The device is reasonably priced, $72.99 USD at the time of this writing. Shipping is free. It uses a USB charger, and each charge lasts a long time. It doesn’t come with clear instructions. However, if you scroll through the images on the product webpage, you will find illustrated instructions.

use test

Good instructions would have been helpful. I went back to the Amovibe site to get ideas. I lubed my  cock and poured some into the silicone sleeve. There is a clearly marked power switch on the top of the device. I inserted my soft cock and held the power switch down for three seconds. The vibes started. I didn’t feel any suction.

I fumbled around and felt a rubber strip near the top. Pressing the top of the strip cycled through the vibe patterns. More fumbling and I realized that the suction control was at the bottom of the strip. I pressed it once, and I felt my cock being drawn in and released in a regular rhythm. It felt good, but not great. I pressed the bottom of the strip again, and a different sucking pattern started. The fourth pattern included a very powerful suck. I liked it. It pulled me in and held me for a few seconds.

I finally realized that I had to “help” the device. I pulled it a couple of inches away from my body so that each suck would move my penis in, and each release would let it slip out a bit. That worked well. The vibrations didn’t do much for me. Your experience may vary.

Of all the masturbators I’ve tried, this is the best. I’m including AutoBlow in the list of less exciting devices. The problem I had was that the sucking patterns weren’t quite right for me. I wanted a stronger, faster-sucking action. The ones provided weren’t enough to do the trick. If the device had more control over speed and vacuum, it would be perfect.

The vibrators were too general. All of my penis was stimulated. Vibes only work for me when they focus on my frenum area. General vibration is more annoying than fun. It would be great to let me use the device with suction alone.

The Albertine has great potential. It’s definitely worth the price. If a version could be made that connects to an app that allows better control, it would be perfect. As it is, I had a lot of fun trying it and plan to use it more if Mrs. Lion lets me. I may need more “practice” with it to make it orgasmic.

This device was provided to me at no charge for review.

I want to thank the guys who volunteered to be beta-readers of my new book. It isn’t done yet. I don’t seem to be attracting female readers. Are you out there? Please Contact Us if you want a free pre-pub copy for your feedback. I appreciate it.

Mrs. Lion has been working up a sweat teasing me. I wish it were easier for her. Maybe we can try a less taxing stimulation technique. I feel guilty seeing her work so hard. Maybe I can help, at least at the start–or maybe the end (LOL She’d never do that if she wanted to tease me.). I suppose she could argue that I’m not ready if I take so long. She could also argue that if I’m ready, I won’t feel guilty. I’m not sure either argument is correct.

The Magic Wand is the most reliable toy in terms of getting me off.

I’ve done some research into how a male can reduce the time to ejaculate. If you weed out the scams and uninformed crap that litters the Net, authorities seem to agree that there is no way to train me to come faster. Ironically, it is possible to train a male to take longer. We have several male masturbation toys. None of them have worked so far. Mrs. Lion hasn’t persisted with any toys other than the Magic Wand. She has had pretty consistent success with it. The only issue is that if she starts with the powerful vibrator, it desensitizes me so much that her hand or mouth doesn’t work.

We haven’t spent much time with toys. We also haven’t experimented with other techniques. One that helps build arousal is progressive edging. I experienced it in the past. I’m stimulated near orgasm about an hour before the “serious” session. Sometimes the warmup is repeated. The value of this technique, other than focusing me on getting off, tunes up the sexual hardware in my body. This sort of activity can increase semen production in many men.

One benefit of this technique is that if the Magic Wand or other masturbator is used in the warmup sessions, the waiting time before the next activity is enough to resensitize my penis for less violent stimulation. Similarly, CBT or other BDSM activities can be in the warmups but not in the final session. Mrs. Lion uses this technique when she spanks me. She allows time to elapse after the spanking before any sexual activity is started.

I suppose these preliminary activities are analogous to stretching exercises before a race. They are extended foreplay. Daily teasing doesn’t fall into this category. While it makes me hunger for release and frustrates me, twenty-four hours later, that has worn off. Yes, I’m more interested in sex because of it, but any physical benefits have expired.

A warmup is more valuable as we age, though it is great at any age. When I was younger, I went on a vacation trip with a woman. We drove from New York City to New Hampshire. She decided it would be fun to tease me for the full five hours we were on the road. She didn’t push me too close to orgasm, so I didn’t get distracted. I was ready for anything by the time we arrived. Unfortunately, all that rubbing caused my penis to swell from edema. At least that’s what I think it was. I could still have fun, but it was a little uncomfortable.

I don’t know if it is just me, but I seem to need direct penis stimulation to get my motor running. That’s what works best for this guy. Mrs. Lion knows just how to pet me. I’m suggesting that at least one warmup an hour or less before she goes for the gold. More warmup is most welcome.

I wonder what works reliably for most men. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are more and more sex toys dedicated to masturbating men. In the past, the market was limited to sleeves like the Fleshlight that claim to imitate the sensation of being inside a vagina or a mouth. They consist of a silicone sleeve that you lube up and have at it. We have a couple of those. I can’t claim we’ve adequately experimented with them since Mrs. Lion only used our Fleshlight once.

magic wand on my hard penis
The Magic Wand is the only vibrator that reliably gets me off. That’s me in the picture.

The second category is male vibrators. Women have been using vibrators forever. Vibration on the clitoris reliably produces orgasms for most women. Until very recently, the only male vibrator was a crossover from the female toybox. I’m referring to the Magic Wand. This is a potent vibrator that, when applied to the right spot on the penis, will produce an ejaculation. We have one, and Mrs. Lion has had excellent success getting me off with it.

This is how the Autoblow ai works. The position, stroke length, and speed are computer controlled.

The third category includes devices that provide friction and movement. The Autoblow simulates the sensations of oral sex; at least, that’s what the manufacturer claims. We have one and have only used it once. It felt pretty good, but I didn’t sense any oncoming orgasm. Perhaps it requires further experimentation. There are a few other products that use suction pumps to provide a more realistic oral sex experience. They are loosely based on milking machines. They consist of a hard plastic shell with a latex sleeve inside. The penis is inserted into the latex sleeve, well lubed, of course, and the suction pump pulsates and forces the penis in and out. Many years ago, I had one of these and managed to get myself off after a lot of experimentation reliably.

The Jett puts two powerful vibrators where they will do the most good.

More recently, male vibrators have come on the market. These devices rely on powerful little vibrators. They are usually sleeves that situate the vibrator just under the underside of the head, where it will do the most good. The theory behind them is that men need stronger vibration than women. One, made by the same people who make Autoblow, claims to be based on the devices used to help paralyzed man ejaculate. I’ve tried several of these devices and have had absolutely no success with them.

The whole point of male and female masturbators is to provide sensations that feel like they’re coming from a partner. Obviously, the best male masturbator is the hand. That gets boring for most guys. Since I can’t masturbate, I don’t have any recent practice. I’ve given some thought to what might work for me. There’s a vibrator from Lilo that is sleeve-shaped and contains a powerful vibrator. What makes this device unusual is that you can connect it to your cell phone via an app. The device contains several sensors that detect temperature and pressure, plus other parameters. The manufacturer’s idea was that some smart developer would create an app that used the sensors’ feedback to improve the experience intelligently.

Lelo SDK

As far as I know, nobody has built that app yet. Too bad. Just judging from the way I react when Mrs. Lion stimulates me, it’s obvious that what feels good changes in the course of stimulation. This is where an intelligent device has a chance to become amazing. Mrs. Lion has pointed out that my erection can grow harder and softer depending on my state of arousal. The pressure sensor in the Lilo measures this. Increased blood flow to the penis also would increase the temperature. There is a sensor for that as well. This ideal app would monitor these parameters and vary the intensity and speed of the vibrator, attempting to optimize pressure and temperature. If the pressure or temperature decreases, it would start changing the parameters again, trying to optimize the reaction of the penis.

It would be exciting if someone develops it. I know that Lilo has been selling their device as an SDK (Software Development Kit). I think that their device probably isn’t sufficiently complex to really do the job. I would think that aside from vibrating, it would have to inflate to increase and decrease pressure on the penis. It would also need a way to move the vibrator around to find the “sweet spot.”

It seems to me that there isn’t much information about enhancing male arousal. The assumption seems to be that stimulating the penis in some general way sufficient to get a guy to ejaculate. I think it’s time to build devices that try to optimize ejaculation. As Lilo has shown, it’s completely practical to develop sensors and device controls that would allow an app to improve male stimulation.

I’m not claiming that the same wouldn’t be helpful for women as well. It’s just that guys haven’t been seen as much of a market for sophisticated sexual toys. I also think that there is very little incentive for scientists to learn what optimizes sexual experiences. It seems to me that if someone put effort into actually creating the better sex toy, the world would indeed beat a path to that orifice.