By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Rules

I’ve been trying to get my mojo back. At Lion’s suggestion, I’ve been a little meaner. He asked to eat first and I told him I was pretty sure he could wait for me. He’s been working to restore parts of the blog so he’ll just disappear out of the room. I asked him if he would mind going back to the rule where he has to ask me if he can leave the room. He said he wouldn’t mind. I told him it didn’t really matter if he minded or not because the rule is now in effect.

These examples may seem like piddly little things, but I realize I need baby steps. I feel like I’ve been pretty far into the weeds lately and I need to fight my way out. Stupid little statements like “I want you to empty the dishwasher” or “Put this in the garbage for me” are important to bolstering my self esteem.

Lion is working hard toward not interrupting me. I don’t think he’s done it since Saturday. I’ve interrupted him and when I realize it I apologize. He says I’m allowed to do it. That may be true, but it’s still rude and apologizing for it is, to me, a sign I respect Lion. Just because I don’t get my butt whomped for it doesn’t make it any less of an offense. Rude is rude.

Last night Lion admitted that it might be difficult for him to wear the cage again. He’s concerned about getting up from the toilet in one of our bathrooms as well as those at work. I don’t want to rush him. When he feels he’s able to, we can go back to it. This morning he suggested a trial run. He is now locked into the plastic cage with access to the key in case he needs to extricate himself.

The cage went on easily. This is not always the case. Maybe it was the cage’s way of welcoming us back to his being locked up. It was nice to see the tip of my weenie poking out. We’ll see how long he can keep it on. The plastic cage has a tendency to rub. He worked on it the other day to smooth it out. This is a good test run. And there’s no penalty for having to remove it. (Not that there ever is if he has an emergency.)

Another rule just crossed my mind. When we watch local news, or even some national news, Lion often says “who cares?” when he sees what he considers a frivolous story. I usually tell him many people care or they wouldn’t be reporting it. Sometimes I care. Sometimes he says it and by the end of the story, he cares. I’ve tried saying it about stories I know he cares about, but it’s had no effect. So his new rule is to stop saying “who cares?” when it’s something he doesn’t care about.

Hmmm… maybe the mojo is returning. See it peeking around the corner there?

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Rules, Sex, Spanking

Thursday night Mrs. Lion snuggled and played with her weenie. I responded and she edged me once. It’s the closest we’ve come to normality since my surgery a month ago. It felt very good to me. It won’t be long before we are back to our full routine. Mrs. Lion will dust off her paddles and BDSM toys and the fun will resume. She’s told me that she is hesitant to punish me until my shoulder pain is controlled. Right now there is very little pain. She is concerned that the physical therapy (PT) will make things hurt so much that she won’t want to add to my trouble. My prior experience with PT for this shoulder, suggests that there will be pain but it will disappear within a day.

Her plan is to ease me back into male chastity and punishment for my transgressions. That’s a good idea. It may be a while before the chastity device goes on again. I need sufficient use of both arms to reliably sit to pee and adjust things during the day. I’m pretty sure that isn’t the case for domestic discipline. That will resume soon, I’m sure. I wonder if Mrs. Lion will consider non-spanking punishments when we resume. There isn’t any real reason to change. Spanking is very effective with me. But she might consider add-on’s just for the hell of it (literally).

She might not. Punishment in our house is not a BDSM activity. It has a purpose: to correct behavioral mistakes on my part. That’s it. I could see her making some punishments fit the crime like mouth soaping for interrupting. But it’s completely up to her. Spanking is sufficiently humiliating and painful to be the all-purpose correction method. I’ll stop suggesting alternates. She is perfectly capable of finding instructions on any activity she chooses.

I wonder how difficult it will be for her to get back to her routine. It took a very long time to get where we were before the surgery. As lioness 2.0, she was committed to increasing her strict enforcement of rules. Will she continue meeting that commitment? I wonder how I will react to 2.0 working toward 2.5? Of course, my reaction has nothing to do with how she proceeds. I’m just curious.

In my mind, lioness 2.o is a change in Mrs. Lion’s behavior regarding strictness, punishment, and orgasm control. 1.5 is very sensitive to my reactions and will generally allow me to cause her to be less strict and a lot less painful in her punishments. 2.0 is not interested in my objections to her spanking. She hits hard as long as she wishes. She also is much more observant of my behavior and very willing to punish for the slightest deviation from a rule. This is the point I hope she can return to in the very near future.

I think that Lioness 2.5 is more than just a meaner 2.0. In my eyes, 2.5 will demand more obedience and will punish more severely than 2.0. This next evolution of my lioness will be comfortably in control and have considerably higher expectations of me. Sexually, she will decide what I get based purely on her own thinking. My feedback may be accepted but will have little weight.

Of course, this is all my idea. Only Mrs. Lion knows what her next step will be. I’m hoping she will share her thinking on this in the near future. I think that a part of the process of getting back to normal is to think about where we left off and where we are going. I am going to discuss this with Mrs. Lion and see how she is feeling. After all, I don’t get a vote in any of this.

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By:
In: Punishment, Rules

I’m annoyed with Lion right now. He doesn’t know it. I haven’t told him. I was trying to figure out how to ease into the first issue without it seeming like I’m attacking Lion. He goes on the defensive quickly. And now there’s another issue that has my panties in a bunch. Right now he’s writing his post so I don’t want to interrupt him, but we’ll discuss things when we’re both done writing.

The thing is, I see myself falling into old habits. I’ve been annoyed at the mountain of tasks I have to do. I knew I’d be doing the majority of the tasks while Lion recuperates, but it just seems like there’s always something that needs to be done. For example, I don’t remember us running the dishwasher so often before his surgery. I’m always emptying it. And when did we become the largest garbage generator in town. The bag is always full and I need to take it out. I’m not blaming Lion for not being able to do anything. He’s pitching in where he can. [Lion – Before the surgery, I took out the garbage almost all the time. Mrs. Lion didn’t realize that. We have always run the dishwasher daily. I think it is that poor Mrs. Lion is doing everything now, she is feeling the pressure.]

If I wasn’t annoyed by this mountain of tasks, I don’t think I would be so annoyed by the other two things, which are largely due to lack of communication. It’s a snowball effect and I understand how easy it is for things to fester inside me. I haven’t said anything about the long list of tasks because it’s not Lion’s fault. I have to get off my ass and do things rather than sit around falling asleep with him. It annoys me even more when Lion points out something that needs to be done. “Wow! That’s a lot of recycle to go out.” “If I was driving my car, I’d get it washed. I hate a dirty car.” And when I said I need to move around rather than sit with him so I stay awake he said, “You could always clean.” Apparently 2.0 is off on vacation somewhere. Any one of those statements should have warranted a notch on the bedpost for future punishment. But they didn’t. Instead, I hold it in and let it simmer.

Well, today it’s boiling over. Either 2.0 is spending Memorial Day weekend with us or 1.0 finally woke up. If he can drive his car and plan to go back to the office full time, then he can handle some punishment. He wondered when punishment would resume. Right here. Right now. It’s on.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Rules, Sex

Lion was very horny last night. Maybe not as horny as he was several nights ago when he came very quickly, but still horny. I was able to edge him a few times. I even considered leaving him horny until tonight at least. I thought better of it though. I was to ease us back into chastity and the rules. It’s not like flipping on a switch.

Ironically, Lion seems to be in less pain now that he’s using less of the narcotic. His sense of taste is returning to normal as well. I think a lot of the issues were caused by the narcotic. It seems counterintuitive that the narcotic would cause pain, but I think it might have. At any rate, Lion is on the road to recovery faster than before. He even wants to try driving when we go out later.

Tomorrow is his second post-op visit with the surgeon. We’ll see how well he’s healed and how much range of motion he’s regained. I’m assuming the real physical therapy will begin. I know they won’t be as nice to him as I’ve been. They’ll push him to move whether it hurts or not. And if there’s pain we may be right back where we were before. A poor, achy Lion who doesn’t want sex or even snuggling. That’s why I’m in no hurry to return things to normal so quickly.

I think, as was the case before surgery, not knowing how things will go is nerve wracking. Will he be in more pain? How long will the pain last? What’s the next step? Once we get the go ahead for more involved PT, we’ll find out. Until then, we’re flying blind.

I have no doubt that Lion will be back to normal for the most part in a few weeks. By that I mean driving and doing most things that require no lifting. He won’t be reaching things from the top shelf for a while, dammit. I’m shorter. I rely on him for reaching. Yes, he still has the one good arm, but I try to do things on my own. Sometimes he’s still wobbly on his feet. I’ll still be taking care of him. He’s been trying to do more on his own, but I really don’t mind helping. Do you hear that, Lion? You shouldn’t feel bad about asking for help.

I know he’s getting tired of being an “invalid” but he’s still got a way to go before he’s back to his pre-injury self.