Punishment (Page 144)

Starting at 1pm on Friday and ending yesterday afternoon, I had to wear a diaper. When I wet it, I had to wait at least an hour before changing to a dry one. It seemed that only a short time after changing into a dry diaper, I had to pee again. So, most of the 24 hours were spent in a wet, heavy diaper. That isn’t as bad as it sounds. Modern disposable, adult diapers have a magic way of turning the wet into a gel and keeping my body pretty dry and odor free.

I still hate wearing one, especially when wet. The pee turns into a hot, heavy blob I have to carry around. This isn’t what I intended to write about, but I figured you might want an update from inside my latest punishment. Diapers are a very effective way to punish me. It’s impossible to forget I am wearing the thing and when wet, it’s very uncomfortable. Twenty-four hours is a good minimum sentence. It’s long enough to make me sincerely regret my behavior.

I didn’t intend to write about diapers today. Another subject came to mind that I think is important. It has to do with the reality of a power exchange. The fantasy about FLR and domestic discipline is that the woman has absolute power and her husband must unquestioningly obey her every command. She has the right to punish him in any way she chooses for as long and with whatever intensity she wants. Hence the concept of the severe spanking, and for that matter, my sitting in a wet diaper.

Many of our readers are confounded by the fact that Mrs. Lion warms me up for a punishment spanking because I asked her to try this. I admit that if you asked me a year ago if I thought a warm up would be appropriate, I would have indignantly said, “No way!”.

So why the big change?

The reality of a continuous power exchange like domestic discipline, FLR, or enforced male chastity is that presumably the two people have a relationship that goes a lot further than just obedience and punishment. I’ve known people who have searched for and finally found a partner whose main attractiveness is his/her interest in completing the desired power exchange. These relationships rarely last very long. Simply put, domestic discipline isn’t substantial enough to build a life around.

I think it makes no sense for the disciplining wife to punish her husband in a way he can’t accept in the spirit in which it is given. I’m spanked as a way to encourage me to follow my rules and obey Mrs. Lion. Certainly, she can beat me with very hard swats from the start. She can go on as long as she likes. But will the outcome of this beating be a positive change in my behavior? Or, will it anger and upset me and make me resent her? If she continues this, which I acknowledge is her right, I will probably lose interest in the power exchange and ask for it to end. If she refuses to end it, I can end it anyway. I’m bigger and stronger after all.

The point is that for any of this to work, it has to be consensual. Both partners have to believe that the power exchange is a positive force. I need to be punished in ways that will make me more careful to be good. When the spanking is over or I take off the last, wet diaper, I have to want to be better. I shouldn’t look back with intense fear or anger and feel abused. The key to success s that Mrs. Lion feels that she has sent her message and that I strongly received it. Doing things I can’t stand moves the focus from learning a lesson to resentment and upset.

I was getting  more and more unhappy with our prior spanking style. I felt that Mrs. Lion wasn’t able to fully express her desire for me to change and I was unable to accept the pain those spankings provided. I tried for a long time to just suck it up and take it. It didn’t work very well. I suggested a change that might allow her to send the message in a more meaningful way.

The way I see it, the big mistake about real-life punishment is the focus some people have on the activity instead of the reason to do it. This focus causes a kind of catholic view that the punishment ritual must be performed a certain way. By definition then, a spanking with a warmup is wrong. If I am honest with Mrs. Lion and express what I believe would deter me from repeating an offense, she should consider my suggestion. Maybe she could try it and see if it works.

For example, I suggested mouth soaping as a punishment dessert when I interrupt her because a spanking and a soaping would direct my attention to the fact that I should pay more attention to my mouth. That’s what interrupted her. So, a memorable spanking followed by mouth soaping allows the punishment to fit the crime and fit inside my limits.

I think the key to correction is building an association with breaking a rule with receiving an unpleasant consequence. If the consequence has a natural relationship with the offense, like connecting speaking when I shouldn’t with a mouth soaping, the correction might be more effective.

The idea that correction almost always includes a spanking seems to be a tradition that has been going on for centuries. I don’t know why this is the case, but in my limited experience it makes some kind of subconscious connection for me. When I get “that look”, my butt starts to sting.

For someone like me who has received play spankings for a long time, I think there needs to be something more to underline that in no way was the spanking BDSM play.

Sometimes I don’t get spanked first. Wearing a diaper sends me a message when Mrs. Lion makes me do it for a day or more. And, that, after all, is the entire point of punishment. Right?