Some bloggers number their posts. I’m not sure why. If you’re curious, this is post 5,652. That’s of no significance to me, but there you go. Anyway, I’ve noticed that almost every chastity or spanking blog was founded and is written by the person on the bottom. It is exceptionally rare to hear from a keyholder or spanker.

One notable exception, other than us, was Juile of Strict Julie Spanked (It used to be Spanks). Before she decided to switch and become a disciplined wife, she wrote about spanking her husband. Mrs. Lion is contributing, and she is my disciplining wife and keyholder. Though consistent with the trend, I started this blog.

There must be exceptions out there, but almost every couple who spanks does it at the request of the spanked spouse. The same is true for male chastity and orgasm control. The male wishing to be locked up introduces it to his partner. Similarly, the vast majority of BDSM toys are bought by bottoms. The same is true of domestic discipline and female-led marriages. The concept is almost always introduced by the partner who will be disciplined.

We started this blog to give a more balanced picture of these power exchanges. Mrs. Lion regularly tempers my ideas with her reactions. We’ve settled in to a very manageable power exchange. Orgasm control and domestic discipline are now unremarkable, routine parts of our life together. Butt-blistering spankings are administered without so much of a comment by either of us. Punishment is a fact of life for me.

The same is true of orgasm control. Mrs. Lion gives me orgasms when she decides I should have them. There is no argument or discussion. I never masturbate. That’s it. I don’t think either of us believed that this was how things would turn out when we started male chastity in 2014. Somehow, they have. We are both happy with how things are working.

I understand that some of our readers find it hard to believe this. Orgasm control and domestic discipline seem exotic. A lot of men fear the loss of sexual control. Guys who are turned on by the idea of being spanked wouldn’t consider letting their wives punish them. I get it. I felt the same way at first.

The simple fact is that I need spanking. I need it for sexual reasons. It also turns out that I need it as a reminder to do my chores. Let me put that another way. I need to know that Mrs. Lion isn’t building resentment and anger over things I may have done or said that upset her. She set a couple of simple rules that make things easier for her and for us. Not performing these things upset her. No, she isn’t boiling mad if I forget to set up the coffee, but it annoys her at 7 AM when she has to put the coffee pot together.

If she couldn’t punish me for forgetting, she would most likely stuff her feelings and go on with her day. In the past, when she’s done that, at some point, she boils over and gives me the silent treatment. A crack appears in our relationship. If I forget, she smiles and lets me know that I’m in trouble. Later, she will spank me. That helps me remember. It also resolves any feelings that Mrs. Lion might have stuffed.

Other things upset her. She hates to be interrupted and gets upset when I am a know-it-all. We’ve discussed this, and I’m on notice that doing either of those things can earn me a spanking. So far, Mrs. Lion almost never punishes me for this. When she gives me a “just because” spanking, she will sometimes tell me that it is for interrupting or annoying her. Last week, she said she might become more consistent about punishing that kind of behavior. So far, she hasn’t.

Orgasm control is more of a game. It’s fun for both of us to play with my need to get off. There’s a subtle, more serious side to this. Mrs. Lion knows that she and she alone gives me sexual pleasure. I can’t do it myself and certainly can’t let another woman do it. There’s a nice sense of security. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to worry that she has lost her libido. She knows that I still need her to find ways to get me off. She does a very good job with that.

Domestic discipline isn’t so much a dominant/submissive practice. It’s more of a construct that balances the power in our marriage. I’m as much of a leader as ever. I now have a boss who makes sure that I keep things in good order. Both orgasm control and domestic discipline are pressure-release valves in our marriage. They work well for us.

I can’t tell you how good it was to get home last night. The dog went nuts. She couldn’t run around fast enough to show me how much she missed me. I think it was on my layover, when I was talking to Lion, he put me on speaker and she looked for me when she heard my voice. But nothing compared to the chaos of actually walking through the door. Lion tried to come out of the bedroom to greet me, but decided it was better to wait for me rather than have the dog knock him over. She wouldn’t have done it on purpose. She almost knocked me over a few times in her frenzy.

I stopped and grabbed dinner for us on the way home. I didn’t think either of us would want to cook or even figure out what to eat. Burgers and fries sounded good. It wasn’t the food that mattered. It was the company. I was tired. I’d been up since 7 am, which is 4 am west coast time. Obviously, whatever time it said on our bedroom clock, my body said it was three hours later. Despite that, I managed to make it till after 11 before we went to bed. And we woke up at 7. And then we went back to sleep again. I’m still tired but it’s more of a normal tired.

Based on Lion’s post from this morning, I’m not sure if he wants an orgasm or not. Maybe he wants an orgasm, but he doesn’t want me to tell him when he’s getting it. I was going to give him an orgasm whether he wanted it or not just to “reset” the clock. I don’t think he wants that. So what do I do? If I try to arouse him and it doesn’t work, do I just give up for the day? He seemed to like the idea of being tied to the bed, but seems to want more than that. He doesn’t want wham bam thank you ma’am. I can understand that. He also said he knows he’s a chore, which I’ve told him a million times he’s not. But if I think I’m not doing wham bam thank you ma’am and he does, we’ve gotten our signals crossed again.

I’m pretty sure he won’t tell me what he wants, except that he wants me to be in charge. I guess I’ll just do what I think I should do and see if that lines up with what he wants. Yeah. That won’t end poorly. I’m going to cross my fingers and go in with a positive attitude. We’re going to have fun. I’m going to get Lion excited, he’ll make it to the edge, and he may or may not have an orgasm. It’ll be my little secret.

[Lion — I think Mrs. Lion was very tired when she read my post from yesterday (Link). I said that a businesslike jerkoff is an expected activity. I also didn’t say I would be unhappy if I got to ejaculate tonight. I think it would be very nice. Perhaps a re-read of the post is in order.]

I neglected to say that Lion had an orgasm the other night. He’d waited five days. That’s great! It wasn’t far off of my four-day goal. Maybe he’ll have another five-day wait next time. Or I could make him wait a bit longer. My goal is actually to give him more orgasms than he’s had the past few waits. Of course, in doing that, I hope I’m also increasing our communication.

Lion told me this morning that he’s not sure what I’ve been doing when I jerk him off, but he likes it a lot. I guess I’ve taken what he’s told me to heart and tried to figure out how to make it feel the way he wants it to feel. I don’t have the benefit of being able to change based on how it feels to me. In other words, if he were jerking himself off, he’d know that a certain grip either doesn’t work or isn’t working at that particular moment, and he could change it. Unless I get feedback, I don’t know what is or is not working. If I hear him purr or he tells me it feels nice, I know I’m onto something. He’s also been asking me if I can change my grip or move further up. I guess the easy answer is that I’m not sure what I’ve been doing when I jerk him off that he likes a lot.

I’m not sure if it’s quite what Lion was talking about, but I’ve been reminding him he’s getting waxed over Thanksgiving weekend. Is this the same as telling him I like a particular thing? I’m not coming right out and saying I like a hairless Lion. In my mind, I’m building anticipation. I wonder if he sees it that way. He’ll be face up or down, oiled up for a portion of it, and I’ll be running my hands all over him. I think that’s sexy. And I’ve told him I think it’s time for the full-body wax. The only hair left on him will be his head and his arms. I know he likes that a lot. He also gets an oily hand job, at least a portion of one, when it’s time to clean up. We both like that a lot. Maybe I am telling him what I like.

[Lion — Are you? Even in this post, you didn’t say that you like me to be hairless anywhere or everywhere on my body. Do you? Do you like to wax me? I know you are teasing me by saying I’m going to be waxed. That doesn’t say if you like it or not. The only way to tell me that you like something is to actually tell me. Indirect references don’t work for me.]

[Mrs. Lion — Well, I didn’t directly say it but I did say I think running my hands over your oily body is sexy. And I did directly say I like jerking you off when you’re oily. No, that’s not true. I said we both like that a lot.]

[Lion — But you still haven’t said that you like any of the other stuff you mentioned. That feels to me like you don’t.]

We had a lot of wind last night. Unfortunately, that was the only action happening. We had dinner figured out for once, but Lion said his tummy was bothering him when I got home. Mine has been doing weird things too, but I was ignoring it. The dinner plans were out the window, and Lion wasn’t hungry anyway. I wasn’t either. We watched TV and held hands-on and off. It was somewhere around 9 when Lion said maybe he’d have half a sandwich. I found something to eat too. And that was the extent of our evening.

I was maybe expecting Lion to have an orgasm four days after his last one was too presumptuous. Perhaps I should aim lower. The only thing I wanted was for Lion to have a wait time of fewer than 21 days. And more than that, I wanted him to have fun along the way. There’s no pressure for him to have one in four days. It was an overcorrection on my part.

Here’s what I think should happen, and this is just my opinion. I want Lion to want to have sex. I don’t say that in the vein of my not wanting sex for myself. Of course, Lion is a horndog most of the time. I mean, I don’t want him to worry about how I feel about giving him sex. He tends to see sex as one-sided where I get nothing out of it. He sees it as a chore for me, and that keeps him from wanting and enjoying it. I’m saying he should knock it off.

Rather than come at it from the wait time end of it, I should be coming at it from its enjoyment. Does it really matter when he has an orgasm as long as he’s having fun along the way? I don’t think so. Is it a bad thing if he has an orgasm a few days after having one? I don’t think so. Obviously, it won’t be the norm, but nothing says I can’t give him one the next time he gets near the edge. Who cares if it’s four days or seven days? If I want to make him wait seven days, even if he’s made it to the edge at day six, that’s fine too.

I already know I can’t make him 100% happy. I’ve given him orgasms when he’s wanted to wait longer. How do I know? I can’t ask him. He won’t tell me because he doesn’t want to influence me. Sometimes it would be nice to know he’s enjoying being teased and doesn’t want to come yet. I think he worries too much about influencing me. If he’s in the throes of being edged and I ask him if he wants to come, and he says he does, I can always tell him it’s too bad. I don’t want him to come yet. But if he’s really, really looking forward to coming that night, it would be nice to know. Alternately, if he really, really doesn’t want to come, it would be nice to know too. I can do with that information what I will.

All I’m asking for is a little guidance. He won’t actually be deciding anything. I don’t think it’s asking too much.