Lion’s latest wait was six days. We hadn’t really been doing much in those six days to make him hornier. I spanked him a few times, trying to figure out over-the-knee positions. I teased him a few times. He’s been reading a lot about spanking and that tends to get his motor running. It’s been sort of a slippery slope lately. He said he feels some pressure to perform and that may be making it more difficult to do so. He suggested he should be spanked if he couldn’t have an orgasm. Apparently, that would give him more incentive. I agreed but added the option of telling him when I didn’t want him to have an orgasm so he didn’t have a punishment hanging over his head. Now he’ll get spanked if he doesn’t have an orgasm when I want it as well as if he has one when I don’t want it.

He wasn’t sure if he was horny last night. That’s fine. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to have an orgasm. While we were both deciding our preferences, I sucked him. There was no pressure on either of us. At some point, we both decided he should have an orgasm. Afterward, he said when I asked him if he wanted one, I’d already activated the launch codes and he really, really wanted one. Good thing I was in agreement.

Later on, he started talking about comments we’ve been getting on our posts. He says I should answer them. I do appreciate them. I just don’t know what to say. Here’s a suggestion to try XYZ. Wow. That doesn’t sound like me at all. Maybe I could do X, but Y and Z are not appealing. The thought that crossed my mind is that Lion has people to talk to about what we do. They understand what he wants. They are gung-ho about it. Yes, yes. I put on a skin-tight catsuit and dig my stilettos into his scrotum for fun. That’s not me.

This morning, I was thinking I need something like AA or Al-Anon to talk to people. Hi, my name is Mrs. Lion and I spank my husband. I guess what it boils down to is that I feel like an outsider. Maybe even an imposter or a fraud. I do things to Lion but I wouldn’t consider myself one of “them”. Not that there’s anything wrong with “them”. Sometimes Lion says there’s something wrong with certain people he sees on TV. There was a group of people who throw parties for their pets. He thinks they’re weird. I usually point out that he’s in no position to call anyone else weird. I’m pretty sure the pet party people would think he’s weird for wanting to be spanked and have his orgasms controlled.

Sometimes I feel like I’m in limbo. I’m somewhere between normal and weird. But who decides what’s normal and what’s weird? You certainly can’t ask the normals or weirdos. They’ll say they’re normal and everyone else is weird. [Lion — We’re normal, of course. Those dog party people are weird! What we do hurts no one but me. It supports our marriage. Above all, it shows how much you love me. I don’t know how much it caught on, but the DWC was a kind of spanking support group. One of the things that make stuff like that fail is that most of the people who want to join are guys who want to be spanked instead of women wanting support and technique tips.]

I doubt I did what Lion expected last night. I told him I’d tease him without letting him come. However, I wasn’t clear whether that meant that I was just going to get him excited or if I was going to edge him. I also haven’t figured out what to do if he has an “unsanctioned” orgasm when I’m only trying to tease him. This last issue could have become a problem last night.

I decided to use the Magic Wand. Rather than sit on the bed cross-legged beside him, I sat on the opposite edge of the bed next to him. There was more twisting for my back, but less reaching. I was also able to do little drive-by licks and sucks along the way. It’s been a few days since we’ve played so my weenie sprang to attention when the Magic Wand hit it. Sometimes it’s hit or miss with the Magic Wand. Not last night. I was afraid Lion was going to charge right up and over the edge.

On the one hand, I’m thinking I should be happy if he has an orgasm when I’m not going for one. After all, taking away that expectation should allow him to enjoy the ride, so to speak. Without the added pressure of getting to the edge, maybe he will get there. And if he gets there, it’s only a matter of a stroke or two before he’s over the edge. Yay, right?

On the other hand, if I’ve told him I’m not going for an orgasm, he shouldn’t have one. Couldn’t his having one be equated with him deciding when he has an orgasm? That’s no good. If I spank him for not having an orgasm when I want one, shouldn’t I spank him for having one when I don’t want him to? Of course, you could argue that I’m the one driving things and I should know when he’s close. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes even Lion doesn’t know until it’s too late. But I don’t think that matters. By saying I don’t want an orgasm, I don’t want one. It shouldn’t matter how it happened.

So there! He’ll get spanked if he has one when he shouldn’t and if he doesn’t have one when he should. That’ll fix his little red wagon. More accurately, that will fix his little red butt. [Lion — Promises, promises.]

Maybe I’m a slow learner, or perhaps I let my sexual fantasies blind me to obvious reality. It’s taken me a long time to wake up to the most obvious truth about enforced male chastity. The truth is that orgasm control isn’t only about preventing me from ejaculating. It’s about surrendering control of my orgasms to Mrs. Lion. That means she decides when I get to ejaculate, not just my minimum wait between orgasms.

My mistake is an easy one to make. I always assumed that I would be happy to come anytime Mrs. Lion would let me. I learned early on that I wasn’t. When we first started, Mrs. Lion masturbated me every day. It didn’t take many days before I wanted her to give me more time between orgasms. I explained that male chastity is about making me wait and forcing me to get super horny. That’s what the fantasies are about. She accepted this concept and went from jerking me off every day to edging me every day or so. That truly frustrated me.

After over seven years of this, my ability to ejaculate in less than ten days seemed to evaporate. I couldn’t even get to the edge most times Mrs. Lion teased me. After several months of disappointing performance, I decided that maybe I have been conditioned to avoid anything approaching orgasm for at least a week. That’s when the light bulb went on. I was taking back control of my orgasms.

Since I couldn’t have an orgasm until Mrs. Lion decided to give me one, I could take control by not having one until I was ready. Orgasm control isn’t about withholding male ejaculation.  It’s about controlling it. I should be able to ejaculate whenever Mrs. Lion wants. She has always been very forgiving if I am unable to ejaculate when she decides I should. Her concept of orgasm control has always been about limiting my opportunities. If I’m not ready when she wants some semen, then no problem, she’ll try again tomorrow.

True orgasm control is for me to ejaculate when she wants. If I don’t, there should be consequences. I presented this idea to her, and she agreed that she would spank me if I don’t ejaculate during a session she says she wants to see me come. She said that she might even supervise me jerking off. Failure to orgasm gets punished. I haven’t masturbated in over seven years. I don’t want to start again now, but that isn’t my decision. It’s also not my decision when I can ejaculate. So far, we only had one session when she ordered me to come. To my surprise, I did.  I imagine my next enforced orgasm is coming very soon. Hopefully, I will obediently come for her.