I have a full time job. To earn extra money I took on a second job that I can work from home. Also at home is another job-housework. And Lion. From 8-4 my first job gets most of my attention. If I worked with Lion and he made as many mistakes as I have to correct in a single day his tush would be beet red. It has gotten fairly stressful. When I get home I just want to vegetate. I know my second boss needs me to put in some hours. I know I need to make dinner and take care of the house. I know we’re getting ready for a trip. I know Lion wants attention. I know I’m not sleeping very well. I know many of my fellow keyholders have similar stories.
Sometimes life is stressful. How do you find time to be keyholder? Maybe you’ve worked eight hours or more, cooked dinner, done the dishes, helped the kids with homework, gotten them to bed, and now your caged male is expecting your attention. The popular answer on some male chastity sites is that it’s your turn now. If he wants attention then he should do your bidding. Foot rub, back rub, bring you a drink, give you an orgasm. Some nights this may be the answer. Other nights you may just want to be alone. Too much human contact throughout the day.
It’s hard to find a balance. Lion says I should take all my stresses from the day and transfer it to him in the form of a spanking. I don’t feel comfortable taking out my frustrations on him. It sounds a little too much like domestic violence to me-the husband has a bad day and comes home and smacks the wife around. Except in this case Lion really is asking for it. I guess some people see that as a win-win. He wants sore buns and I have pent up energy. So far I haven’t been able to do it.
And just because I can work that second job from home, on my laptop in front of the tv, doesn’t mean I always want to do that. Many times when Lion leaves the room I will mute the tv just to get rid of the incessant rambling. Sometimes I need a little quiet so I work from my desktop pc in another room. Lion is a sensitive guy. He tends to think I’m mad at him when I say I need to be alone for a bit. This is also difficult when I need some “me” time. He feels bad because he thinks I don’t want to be with him and I feel bad because he feels bad.
The point is, being a keyholder is work. All relationships take time and effort. Once the power aspect is introduced it becomes more difficult. I am now in charge of him. He has certain expectations. How do I meet those expectations given all the other expectations put on me? You can’t do it all. At least you can’t do it all, all the time.
In some respects I’m lucky. Lion knows how hard it is to be in charge. He’s done it. But he’s a unique individual. Most caged males have not been tops. Most think they’ve done the hard part by giving themselves over to their keyholder. I can’t imagine the amount of strength it takes to give up control of a penis. It’s been their favorite toy since birth and now it’s hidden away. It’s their keyholder’s responsibility now. When will they get to come? When will they be teased? When will they be allowed out to do a full cleaning? And then there’s the whole issue of rules and punishment. Which rules? What punishment? The caged male may be stressed about these questions but the keyholder is the one who has to answer them and perform the tasks. That can add a lot of stress to an already stressful day.
The biggest responsibility you have may be to communicate this to your caged male. Let him know what you have on your plate. Let him know where they fit in the overall scheme of things. Let him know, if you know, how often you plan to give him attention. I’m not talking about a schedule necessarily. Maybe just some guidelines. Every few days, only Saturdays, when you do the dishes I’ll tease you, when you cook dinner I’ll give you an orgasm, etc. It won’t stop him from giving you the sad, puppy dog eyes, but maybe his expectations will be more realistic.
Addendum: I never meant to imply that Lion does nothing. He has a full time job. He helps out around the house. My intent was only to show that in addition to all the other things a keyholder does, she now has the added responsibility of caring for her caged male.