running person
Sometimes work, both home and office, make being a keyholder a stressful job.

I have a full time job. To earn extra money I took on a second job that I can work from home. Also at home is another job-housework. And Lion. From 8-4 my first job gets most of my attention. If I worked with Lion and he made as many mistakes as I have to correct in a single day his tush would be beet red. It has gotten fairly stressful. When I get home I just want to vegetate. I know my second boss needs me to put in some hours. I know I need to make dinner and take care of the house. I know we’re getting ready for a trip. I know Lion wants attention. I know I’m not sleeping very well. I know many of my fellow keyholders have similar stories.

Sometimes life is stressful. How do you find time to be keyholder? Maybe you’ve worked eight hours or more, cooked dinner, done the dishes, helped the kids with homework, gotten them to bed, and now your caged male is expecting your attention. The popular answer on some male chastity sites is that it’s your turn now. If he wants attention then he should do your bidding. Foot rub, back rub, bring you a drink, give you an orgasm. Some nights this may be the answer. Other nights you may just want to be alone. Too much human contact throughout the day.

It’s hard to find a balance. Lion says I should take all my stresses from the day and transfer it to him in the form of a spanking. I don’t feel comfortable taking out my frustrations on him. It sounds a little too much like domestic violence to me-the husband has a bad day and comes home and smacks the wife around. Except in this case Lion really is asking for it. I guess some people see that as a win-win. He wants sore buns and I have pent up energy. So far I haven’t been able to do it.

And just because I can work that second job from home, on my laptop in front of the tv, doesn’t mean I always want to do that. Many times when Lion leaves the room I will mute the tv just to get rid of the incessant rambling. Sometimes I need a little quiet so I work from my desktop pc in another room. Lion is a sensitive guy. He tends to think I’m mad at him when I say I need to be alone for a bit. This is also difficult when I need some “me” time. He feels bad because he thinks I don’t want to be with him and I feel bad because he feels bad.

The point is, being a keyholder is work. All relationships take time and effort. Once the power aspect is introduced it becomes more difficult. I am now in charge of him. He has certain expectations. How do I meet those expectations given all the other expectations put on me? You can’t do it all. At least you can’t do it all, all the time.

In some respects I’m lucky. Lion knows how hard it is to be in charge. He’s done it. But he’s a unique individual. Most caged males have not been tops. Most think they’ve done the hard part by giving themselves over to their keyholder. I can’t imagine the amount of strength it takes to give up control of a penis. It’s been their favorite toy since birth and now it’s hidden away. It’s their keyholder’s responsibility now. When will they get to come? When will they be teased? When will they be allowed out to do a full cleaning? And then there’s the whole issue of rules and punishment. Which rules? What punishment? The caged male may be stressed about these questions but the keyholder is the one who has to answer them and perform the tasks. That can add a lot of stress to an already stressful day.

The biggest responsibility you have may be to communicate this to your caged male. Let him know what you have on your plate. Let him know where they fit in the overall scheme of things. Let him know, if you know, how often you plan to give him attention. I’m not talking about a schedule necessarily. Maybe just some guidelines. Every few days, only Saturdays, when you do the dishes I’ll tease you, when you cook dinner I’ll give you an orgasm, etc. It won’t stop him from giving you the sad, puppy dog eyes, but maybe his expectations will be more realistic.

Addendum: I never meant to imply that Lion does nothing. He has a full time job. He helps out around the house. My intent was only to show that in addition to all the other things a keyholder does, she now has the added responsibility of caring for her caged male.

Many of my posts are about how much I love my Lion. And when I think of this site, more often than not, I see it as a love story. Sure it’s about playing and sex and that little cage my cock is locked up in. But for me, it’s about rediscovering my husband.

I never stopped loving Lion. We had drifted very far apart. When he approached me with the chastity idea I thought it was just another one of his games. I figured we’d do it for a while until we (read that as I) got bored and that would be the end of that. But something has happened. That piece of intertwined metal has changed our lives. I’m sure this blog has had a lot to do with it, too. I know I’ve learned a few things I never knew about him. And along the way maybe we are helping people who join us here.

Locking Lion away has somehow freed him. He now seems willing to attempt initiating sex. At least some forms of sex. Before it was all about him. I would have to make the first move-unless you count the first move as wriggling closer to me and announcing he was horny-and he was the only one who got attention. Now he’s fingering me on a Sunday afternoon. Forget any progress I may have made, that’s the real progress!

Part of me wonders, if the cage came off, would things go right back to the way they were, losing everything we’ve learned? I don’t want to take a chance. This is too important.

I never stopped loving Lion, but I’m really enjoying falling in love with him all over again.

rainy day
Snuggling naked in bed on a rainy day is a warm cozy feeling.

(Sunday, May 25 2014) In the midst of doing chores on Sunday, we decided to snuggle up in bed and watch some TV shows we recorded. It’s amazing how we sleep together naked every night, but somehow wrapped in his arms on a chilly, lazy Sunday made me feel closer to him than ever. And, as often happens, I can’t keep my hands off of him.

Lion was locked up and the key was way over there and it was warm under the blankets. So poor Lion was trapped. That didn’t keep me from teasing him. And eventually he started fingering me. I can’t tell you the last time I had an orgasm in the middle of the afternoon. As I was calming down I decided that night I  wanted another orgasm. I was going to ride my Lion and I wanted him to come inside me.

Later, after I removed his cage so he could take a shower and clean it, I decided that I wasn’t really in the mood for an orgasm myself. But I still wanted Lion to come inside me. Why would I want him to come inside me when I don’t want to come? Aside from the fact that it feels good, it’s been a long time since he’s done it. I wanted to please him, but even more than that, it’s like he has given me a gift. Part of him is inside me. And it makes me feel even closer to him.

It’s interesting that the cage, which is a barrier between us, has actually brought us closer. Maybe we should have invested in it sooner.

Lion has shown a lot of patience waiting for me to try things with him.
Lion has shown a lot of patience waiting for me to try things with him. I hope it doesn’t run out any time soon.

The biggest flaw I have, and there are many, is that I’m inconsistent. Sure I talk a good game. I’ll do this. I’ll do that. I have to do this. I have to do that. Sometimes I actually do what I say I’m going to do and other times not so much. Last night was a not so much time. After all my talk about having Lion use a dildo on me I just wasn’t in the mood. I wasn’t really in the mood to do anything at all. But then I decided to edge him. Afterwards he said he was surprised I edged him. When I asked why he said because he had read my post and expected a different scenario.

Lion gives me way too much credit for making big changes. When we were in the grocery store it just so happened that I realized that he dropped the corn and, oh by the way, here’s my remote control zapper. I’m not consciously waiting for him to commit an infraction so I can correct him. It was just a happy accident. It was just as likely that I would see him drop the corn, shake my head at him, forget I even had the remote control, and walk away.

Actually neither one of us has a great memory. We can remember most important things. We can remember some really unimportant things. We are fairly good at the irrelevant things on Jeopardy. But Lion forgets that he has used a dildo on me in the past. Not for long and I don’t remember why we started or stopped. He never knew, much like I never knew that he masturbated a few times a week, that I have used a dildo by myself before I gave up on sex. Lionesses have needs too and if he couldn’t initiate I was going to take matters into my own hands. It did the trick but I discovered that the only thing worse than not having Lion initiate was not having Lion involved at all. So my eureka moment of having him use a dildo on me was not a new idea at all.

In a sense, I feel a certain amount of pressure to live up to what Lion wants. It may sound ridiculous to categorize his need for me to be pleasured as pressure, but consider this. For so long, I’ve done what he wants, according to his needs. Partially because I didn’t really care about sex and partially because tops do for bottoms. I don’t know if my libido will ever be strong enough to do everything he wants me to do. So I’m talking a good game. The mechanics of having an orgasm have never gone away. The desire was what went away. While I’ll certainly get enjoyment out of Lion’s efforts, it’s still work for me. I need to make sure that a good portion of my talk matches up with my actions.

I know Lion’s appreciative of everything I’m doing. I appreciate his patience. I just hope it doesn’t run out any time soon.