By:
In: Lion's Journal, Masturbation

Pretty much every guy likes to reach down and feel the merchandise when he has some privacy. I do. That’s the problem. Things aren’t going my way lately. I must be naked when home. My cage is off to Mature Metal for rethreading the security screw. So, I am cage free and wild. Mrs. Lion has a strict rule about me touching her weenie except for cleaning and peeing.

You can see where this is going. My hand has strayed down for the occasional touch. That is a serious offense and has earned me a spanking. I am very unhappy with that. I’m also not sure I won’t break that rule again by accident. If I had my cage, this topic wouldn’t even come up. I hadn’t given this particular matter much thought until now. For the last three years I have been caged almost all the time. On those rare occasions when I was wild, either we were on vacation and I was under Mrs. Lion’s direct supervision, or I had an orgasm immediately before being left unlocked.

This time it is eleven days since my last orgasm and Mrs. Lion has been teasing me unmercifully every single one of those eleven days. I don’t think I have ever been this horny. Yet, here I am uncaged, naked and alone.

To make things worse, Mrs. Lion is taking punishment seriously. She considers unauthorized touching to be a serious offense. She’s said that I’ve earned a severe spanking. The cherry on this pain sundae is that Mrs. Lion discovered my rubber paddle. This little item is made from solid, slightly flexible rubber. It’s heavy and it isn’t very large. The flex, the weight, and the small hitting zone combine to make this the most painful impact toy I have ever owned. She used it on Friday night and I could still feel the results Saturday afternoon.

When I complain about my situation, Mrs. Lion has taken to telling me that this was all my idea. She mentions my posts when I said that the two day waits I got prior to this, were too short. She also likes to remind me that I didn’t suggest how long I should wait. She doesn’t mention that she doesn’t care how long or short I think my waits should be. Currently, she finds my sexual distress very amusing. That doesn’t bode well for an orgasm in my near future. But, you can never tell what Mrs. Lion will do.

I’ve also written about my need for more severe punishments. She likes to remind me of that too. Even though I am dreading my next spanking, I know I was right to encourage her to hurt me more. Combine her new willingness to cause me maximum pain with a rule that insists I stop  doing something that is second nature to us males, and you have a perfect storm of lion agony. Until I am back in a cage or I get an orgasm, it is very likely that I will be touching her weenie. Well, I think that I will. Who knows? Maybe punishment will train me to keep my paws off. Fat chance.

 

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Masturbation, Punishment

I’ve been thinking about our flavor of domestic discipline. This practice, usually adopted by certain Christian sects, establishes male authority in the family by encouraging corporeal punishment of the wife by her husband. Behind the punishment is the premise that the wife must be blindly obedient to her husband. In practice, at least from what I’ve read, punishment is rare.

In our fledgling female led relationship, domestic discipline is a training tool for both of us. Most importantly, it requires Mrs. Lion to observe and respond to any slips in my behavior. This is a huge change for her. It also provides me with unpleasant consequences for disobedience. We need domestic discipline. At this point, without it we would lapse back into a sort of marital anarchy that generated anger and resentment. It’s hard work and we are far from consistent. Mrs. Lion is trying to improve that, but we haven;t found a way to achieve it. Maybe you have discovered the key to this.

I’ve been thinking that perhaps we should take a few minutes at dinner to review the day in terms of my behavior. I would confess even the smallest breech and Mrs. Lion would review what she observed. After dinner, Mrs. Lion can administer any needed corrections. I like this idea because it is also a chance to also tell each other what we liked about our day with each other. I am not suggesting that if there are a lot of good things, they cancel the misbehavior. I am convinced that for me to be truly happy with this, all infractions need retribution. I thrive in a consistent environment. In case you wondered, I do not like being spanked for punishment. I am not trying to provoke more swats.

On another front, Mrs. Lion told me that she felt mean when she got me hard without edging. That’s ironic. She reminisced that she used to think edging was mean. In one sense, any sexual stimulation without orgasm can be considered mean. Girls are taught not to tease boys that way. They learn to finish what the start or not start at all.

Mrs. Lion sees the distress when she edges me. She has learned to like my whimpers when the orgasm doesn’t come. Then why feel it is mean to just get me hard and keep me that way for a while? I think the answer is the same as it was for edging. Mrs. Lion knows that I expect to be edged if she starts playing with my penis. So, the reasoning goes, I will be disappointed if I don’t get edged. Well, a couple of years ago when she played with my penis I expected to ejaculate eventually. I’ve learned that isn’t going to happen very often and expect to be edged.

I don’t see why I won’t also learn that being played with just to make me hard is an expected outcome of lioness attention. Mrs. Lion crossed the classic boundary of being “mean” years ago. The idea of making me hard just cause she can is no meaner than edging me. It’s just another expression of her control.

We both have a lot to learn.

 

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Masturbation

My last post talked about male masturbation control and the question of what, if any controls the keyholder/disciplining wife should have on her solo sessions. There was a comment responding to the post that cites a classic male fantasy about masturbation control. Here’s an excerpt from the comment:

“Female masturbation is not prohibited as there is no loss of Jing (life essence). I lose no chi or jing when I orgasm. I don’t masturbate, but it wouldn’t matter if I did as it wouldn’t impact the frequency of intimacy I would have with my husband. I can have 18 orgasms and be energized. Whereas the detrimental effects of semen depletion are observable in males.”

Here’s how she handles violations by her husband:

“I bought a shock training collar used to humanely train dogs.”

“The settings go from 1-100 on the remote for the collar. I wanted to do it just as a demonstration, and set it to 1. It delivered a very aversive stimulus. It’s stopped masturbation for the last year and any intentional spills during intercourse.”

Hot stuff? I don’t want to take up too much space, but I have read very close versions of this same story on multiple blogs. If you aren’t actually under orgasm control, this story offers super masturbation fodder. But sadly, it’s just a story. How do I know?

  1. Masturbation is a self-reported “crime.” If the consequence of confession is so dire it will stop masturbation (which he can do in secret with little-to-no risk of discovery), wouldn’t the logical outcome be that he just stop telling her? The only way she could come close to discovering his naughty behavior is to masturbate him to orgasm and measure the semen output. But wait! My semen output varies widely even though I never masturbate. You get the point.
  2. Shock collars are unsafe worn around the neck. The ones intended for large dogs can indeed offer extremely uncomfortable shocks. But none on the market have 100 levels. Also, none generate an uncomfortable shock at the lowest settings. How do I know? We have a small dog collar I sometimes have to wear under my balls. I have a large dog collar we tested and found too powerful. The lowest setting on the big dog collar was barely perceptible. The difference between the 20 settings was too great to get good lion control.
  3. Semen depletion initiates a refractory period. This is the time it takes for the male to “recharge” and be able to orgasm again. It has nothing to do with semen production. The refractory period is, however, triggered when semen is depleted.  That’s why some men can have multiple ruined orgasms until they run out of semen. Many younger men have a refractory period as short as ten minutes. Senior citizens can have them as long as a week or more.
  4. If her partner’s behavior is so boorish if he is sexually sated, why the hell is she with him?

The person who posted the comment cited above (he, among others, calls himself Anonymous. It must have been a popular baby name.) added another comment after I made a brief reply:

“Let me just say that I like your blog because with all the caging, FLR, DD, etc., there always seems to be a real mutual love and caring between you and Mrs. Lion. However, I see other blogs (like the one that I cited) in which I see none of that. Kudos to you guys for showing people how all of this can be done without denigrating, disrespecting, and disregarding your partner.”

That comment was going to be my fifth point. People just can’t live 24/7 with, as he put it, “ denigrating, disrespecting, and disregarding your partner.” Maybe for play sessions the two can take on these roles. But every day, I sure doubt it. I would be surprised if a woman even wrote the various aversion masturbation training posts. I’ve never met a woman that obsessed with male masturbation. And, no one since the mid-nineteenth century has proposed that male masturbation had any systemic effects on the guys who jerk off.

In the cold light of rational, critical reading, it’s obvious how patently ridiculous these stories are. But then if you suspend disbelief…

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Masturbation

I’ve been seeing blog posts about curing males of the nasty masturbation habit. A great many of these posts are based on an earlier one that posited that when men masturbate, they lose interest in their partners and behave poorly toward them. This “disease” must be cured. At this point the posts diverge. Some suggest punishing the male severely if he masturbates. This “aversion therapy” will train him to keep his hands off his cock. The other school of thought proposes that a chastity device will make masturbation so difficult he won’t do it. In either case the end result is no more male masturbation.

Masturbation isn’t sex. That’s how I always thought about it. When interactive sex wasn’t available, I would jerk off as needed. It was just something to do when horny and no partner was around. Almost all married men masturbate during dry spells. Some masturbate habitually, sometimes several times a day. When Mrs. Lion and I weren’t having sex, I masturbated a couple of times a week.

I proposed enforced chastity. I knew that meant I wouldn’t be able to masturbate any more. The trade off for me was that Mrs. Lion would provide the sexual stimulation I craved. When I asked her to lock me up, I mentioned that I would no longer be able to jerk off. She was surprised. She had no idea I masturbated. I was surprised she didn’t know that I did. Much later, she wrote that she considered masturbation almost as serious as cheating with another woman.

Again, I was surprised. I never considered interactive sex and masturbation to be related, much less that same thing. In my mind, jerking off temporarily sated my horny thoughts. It was more biological than entertaining. But, after I thought about it, I realized that she was right. Masturbation is sex. But it isn’t interactive.

Then I started thinking about female orgasms. Our power exchange puts Mrs. Lion in charge of my sexuality. I don’t have a say in how many orgasms she can have. In our case, that’s not an issue since currently she isn’t interested in sex. But assume she loved to have orgasms, lots of them. Would it be OK if she masturbated alone to have some of them?

The “women” posting about curing the evil, male masturbation habit think so. Apparently it’s cheating for a man to jerk off, but hours of happy alone time with her vibrator is fine for his wife. I recognize that the submissive fantasies surrounding male chastity encourage women to go through dozens of batteries a day pleasuring themselves. Based on my reading, apparently a lot of real people feel the same way.

I have to disagree. While it is fine that my ability to ejaculate is controlled by Mrs. Lion, I don’t think it is acceptable for her to masturbate alone. If it is cheating for me to jerk off, why wouldn’t giving herself solitary sex be infidelity? I think it is. There’s a difference between being in charge and having no rules. There are some things that require both partners to discuss. No matter how it ends up, I think that sexual limits deserve discussion and mutual respect.