Male Chastity (Page 7)

Our trip to the casino was fun. They comped us dinner (That’s what it takes to get us there–free food.). We lost more than dinner would have cost, but it was good to be out doing something together on a Saturday night. My limited vision makes outings challenging for me. Mrs. Lion leads me and keeps me from knocking people over.

Saturday was also notable for the very wonderful blowjob I got. I wish it had gone on longer, but I had a lot of fun. At one time, I got grumpy when she stopped before I could ejaculate. Now, I don’t expect a happy ending. I am glad to get whatever attention she chooses to give me. When she finished, she said, “You’ll be going to the casino with blue balls.” What a gal!

The fact that we both treat edging and teasing as normal activity shows how seamlessly male chastity has been woven into our marriage. That’s what makes it so difficult to find things to write about on this subject.

One topic that comes up in emails we receive is chastity device fitting. Most of us like to focus on the hardware. It’s exciting to find and wear penis hardware. It was this fascination that drew me into male chastity. I loved locating and trying different devices. Mrs. Lion was never enthusiastic about dealing with the hardware when she wanted access to my penis. She gamely went along and locked and unlocked me.

Many guys end up putting on and taking off their male chastity devices. Their partners just hold the keys. In a lot of marriages, the guy also has the keys and is expected to wait for permission to unlock. There’s nothing wrong with this. After all, we asked for male chastity and our wives agreed to participate. If you boil it down to its essence, male chastity is about male orgasm control.

Hardware or no hardware, male chastity is about never masturbating. It’s the only sexual activity available without finding another woman. Mrs. Lion’s first rule was that I couldn’t masturbate, ever. She was very serious about it. I don’t think she cared about the hardware. She expected me to obey that rule. Wearing a male chastity device 24/7 helped me learn to keep my hands off my cock. After over three years of being locked up that way, I learned well. Mrs. Lion didn’t care how I learned. She made it crystal clear that she considered jerking off almost as bad as cheating with another woman.

That was in 2013. I haven’t jerked off since the night she made the rule. That night, she told me to do it while she watched. I did, and that was the last time. Every ejaculation since then was produced by her–every single one. It’s been a while since I’ve been locked in a male chastity device. Mrs. Lion is unpredictable, and I could find myself in one again. It might be fun for a while. She’ll make sure I wear it until the fun wears off, and I realize once again that she owns my penis.

I have been thinking about changes in the way our kinks have evolved over the last decade. When we started this blog, most of the stuff people talked about in the male chastity sector was security. There was an endless debate about which devices could be escaped and which might let a man masturbate. The general tone was that we males were the unwilling victims of our cruel keyholders.

Over time, it seemed that more and more guys recognized that it was the male partner who asked to be locked up, not the unforgiving keyholder. Once that concept took hold, it was a small leap to realize that escape and cheating weren’t important topics. Why would you want to escape from something you asked to be locked in?

The discussion turned to more practical matters. We talked about comfort and fit. You couldn’t wear a male chastity device if it were painful. Devices had to fit correctly and comfortably. I tested many devices and reported on how they worked for me. For a device to get a good review, it had to fit properly. In my view, that meant the tip of my penis had to press firmly to the front of the device. The A-ring (cock and ball) had to be comfortable without the need for any lubricant, and the penis cage couldn’t irritate my sensitive skin.

Those standards implied that the penis cage had to be much shorter than we originally thought. Firm contact with the top of the cage is the only way to assure that the urethral opening is centered on the device. That’s critical to assure mess-free urination. Since the flaccid penis varies in length over the course of a day, the cage has to be short enough to compress it when it is in its I-just-got-out-of-cold-water “turtle” phase.

It turns out that this compression is safe and comfortable. The dimension that has to be large enough is the cage diameter. It has be the same size as the actual flaccid penis. Squeezing too much there can cause edema. Apparently, my discovery wasn’t unique. Chastity device makers began releasing much shorter cages. Holy Trainer created the Nano model, which is 1.4 inches long (read our review). Next, they released the Nub model, which is just one inch long (read our review). The Nano was too long for me, and my penis wandered away from the pee opening. The Nano fit perfectly. It also turns out that most of us can comfortably wear a base ring (cock ring) sized at 45mm (1-3/4 inches). Once we stopped worrying about escape and focused on comfort, the base ring size became less important.

Most of us started out with off-the-shelf male chastity devices like the Holy Trainer. They are less expensive than custom-made devices. Also, it makes sense to start with a cheaper device. It gives you a chance to play with male chastity and get a sense of what sizes you might want to adjust before you order a custom device. Custom male chastity devices generally cost more than $300. They are made to your exact measurements.

The earliest custom devices were made of stainless steel. Small shops in the US and Europe make them. Generally, there is at least a one-month wait from order to delivery. They are available in a wide variety of styles. More recently, 3D-printed male chastity devices have appeared. The makers create a computer design of the device and it is then printed by a 3D-Printer. Most are designed by the seller and actually printed by a commercial 3D-printing company. I’ve tried a few of these. Most have the rough finish that the 3D printers put out. I found that finish very irritating to my penis. One company, Evotion, makes a great 3D-printed device that is further processed to a very comfortable, smooth finish (read our review). I ended up wearing my Evotion Orion for quite a while.

cage-free male chastity

After over three years of being locked in a male chastity device, Mrs. Lion stopped locking me up. By that time, the continuous lockup changed my behavior. I completely stopped masturbating. To this day, it isn’t a sexual option I ever consider. Since Mrs. Lion is my only sexual outlet, I’m permanently practicing male chastity.

The pattern of tease and denial that we established over all those years is now just routine. Sexual stimulation from Mrs. Lion doesn’t imply an orgasm for me. I don’t expect one, and she doesn’t feel obligated to get me off. She decides when I should ejaculate. It’s so routine that we never even discuss it. I’m always grateful when she gets me off.

When we started our blog, it was a lot easier to come up with posts. We had a lot to say about male chastity and how we were doing as we added it to our relationship. Predictably, things stopped being new, and we settled into our practice. When I think about it, that was amazing. Mrs. Lion and I learned to accept complete male orgasm control without so much as a comment from either of us.

In 2013 Mrs. Lion was sure that I would want to get rid of my male chastity device and go back to sex on demand. I didn’t. I’ve written a lot about why this choice worked so well for me. In the beginning, it was a way to overcome my extreme problem with initiating sex. A few years ago, it saved me when Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex. By then, we had both completely separated sex for me from sex for us. That didn’t mean we didn’t have mutually satisfying sex. We did; as much of it as Mrs. Lion allowed me. The big difference was that the decision to give me an orgasm was made based on our male chastity kink. So, when Mrs. Lion lost interest in sex, my orgasms weren’t part of the change, just how they would be delivered.

Orgasm delivery was limited to masturbating me and oral sex. For a very long time, my only outlet was Mrs. Lion’s hand. It wasn’t that she didn’t like sucking me. Most of the time, she was edging me, and that was more difficult with her mouth. When it came time for me to ejaculate, she used her hand then too. It was a habit. This went on for a very long time. Finally, I just couldn’t come by her hand. That’s when she returned to oral sex. Lately, she’s been able to jerk me off successfully. It takes time, but she can do it. It doesn’t feel as good as oral sex, but I like it.

Nowadays, she doesn’t discuss how long she wants to keep me waiting. Most of the time, she doesn’t even try to edge me. I go for almost a week before she does more than a little under-the-covers fondling. It’s either that or she goes for the gold. Once in a while, she’ll edge me. She never does it more than once before she finally gets me off. In fairness, I’m not ready for an orgasm as soon as I used to be. It takes more effort to get me there. Mrs. Lion often doesn’t have the energy.

Maybe I should expect this. We’re in our tenth year of male chastity. Sex is starting to feel forced. Mrs. Lion used to try to edge at least once every other day. For the last several months, that hasn’t been close to happening. She never mentions sex. She used to tease me about being horny all the time. Is this loss of connection the logical end of our kink? I hope not, but it looks like it is. Maybe I’ll be sorry I ever suggested it.