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In: Male Chastity

For the last week or so, I’ve been trying out a new keyboard. It’s very different from any I’ve had before. Each key is much larger than typical PC keyboards. The idea is to make them easier to hit. That sounded like a great idea since I’ve lost some sensation in both hands. What I didn’t consider was that also increased the distance to reach each key. That throws off my touch typing. I’ve gotten better, but still find myself making lots of mistakes. It’s also noisy. It sounds like I am making airline reservations. I haven’t decided whether or not to keep using it.

I am also using another new piece of hardware. Well, not exactly new, just not used in years. That is my Jail Bird male chastity device. It’s amazingly comfortable. I don’t remember finding lockup being so easy in the past. There’s no pinching, and my urine stream is as good as it was when I was wild.

To be fair, I had this male chastity device adjusted several times over the years. Each time its performance improved. The most important change was reducing the cage length to just one inch. That kept the head of my penis in firm contact with the front of the cage. There was no wandering urethra and no pee spraying all over the place.

Mature Metal makes the device. The company consists of a couple. She takes the orders and correspondence, and he does the device construction. They are fairly easy to deal with, and their prices are fair. She is stuck in the 1990s and insists on getting keyholder permission before sending a new security-screw key. It’s an annoyance that she doesn’t realize that male chastity has evolved past that silliness.

I noticed that the price of the base cage has gone down a little. As I recall, it was $400 when I bought mine. Now it is $330. We added the security screw instead of a padlock. It’s worked very well for us. You can use the padlock on cages that are threaded for the screw. The lock is available on Amazon at the same price that Mature Metal charges. I’d suggest getting it from Amazon. They ship faster and for free.

My Jail Bird is the only chastity device that I’ve worn that is so comfortable I forget I’m wearing it. Its open design makes keeping clean very easy. The only maintenance I do is to give it a bath in my ultrasound cleaner once a month. That’s needed to get accumulated oil and protein off the stainless steel.

how to get the best fit

If I sound less than enthusiastic about buying a Jail Bird, it’s only because I found the silly “have her call me” stuff a waste of energy and time. On the other hand, if you get the measurements right, the device is perfect. Speaking of measurements, there are three that will make or break your comfort. The first is the base ring diameter. Most guys think that they should wear the smallest base ring they can tolerate. That’s wrong.

lion's penis in jail bird male chastity device

There is an easy way to get the perfect base ring size. Buy the set of fitting rings from Mature Metal. It was about twenty bucks. Then try them on. I suggest starting with the 1-3/4 inch size. Most men end up with that. Wear it for several days. If it hurts and irritates your skin, go up a size. If your balls escape, go down one. You are looking for a size that will contain your balls and not irritate your skin. Don’t use any lube or cream under the ring. It has to feel completely comfortable on its own. You have to be able to comfortably wear the ring without irritation.

The cage size is trickier. Most guys, including me, start out with a cage that is much longer than they need. A flaccid penis can shrink a lot during the day. The cage has to be short enough so that the tip of your penis is in firm contact with the front of the cage at all times. It turned out that a one-inch cage did that job perfectly. It’s better to err on the side of too short rather than too long. The diameter of the cage is a different story. You don’t want to compress your penis that way.

If the cage is too narrow, you will get edema–swelling from fluids trapped in your penis. If this occurs, take the device off at once! You can avoid this by accurately measuring the diameter of your cock when it’s soft. An easy way to do this is to take a piece of paper or ribbon, and loosely wrap it around the thickest part of the shaft. Mark where the ribbon just reaches around. Then measure how long it is. That’s the circumference of your penis. Divide that number by 3.1416 (pi) to get the diameter. That’s the size you should order. It’s important to get this right. It costs a lot to change later.

The last dimension is the gap. That’s the distance the cage is kept from the base ring. It’s not super important to get right and can be changed later. If it is too narrow, it will hurt to wear the device. Too wide doesn’t do any damage at all. I suggest you ask the Mature Metal folks what they suggest.

You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned security. There’s a good reason  I haven’t. If you are worried about being able to escape, you need to rethink why you want male chastity. You are wearing a male chastity device to prevent erections and masturbation. It is a forceful reminder that your penis isn’t your toy. It belongs to someone else who wants your hands off. Right?

By:
In: Male Chastity

As you can see, the Jail Bird male chastity device that was empty yesterday (“Taking Choice Away From Me“) is filled now. This is the first time in a few years that I’m no longer wild. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, Mrs. Lion rarely reads the same meaning as I intended from my posts. I think we have the same difference now.

After she locked me into the male chastity device, she said, “We’ll see if this makes you hornier.” I asked if that is why she locked me up, and she said yes. That wasn’t what I expected at all. Mrs. Lion said (“A Twist On A Twist“) that when I proposed playing with myself to help prime the pump, for the first time, she realized that she felt possessive about my penis and didn’t want anyone but her playing with it. I interpreted that to mean she wanted paws off.

That was a change from our prior arrangement. In the past, I was allowed to get myself hard and touch as long as I didn’t have an accident. As I understood her most recent revelation, any sexual touching by me is forbidden. I suggested that the only way she could assure that I stayed away was to lock me up again. This is when things got a little fuzzy.

Once the cage was going on, she said I was wearing it because I wanted to and because I suggested it would make me hornier. Well, it might make me hornier, but I didn’t think I was locked up because I wanted to be. This is a return to something that bothers me a lot.

the difference between consent and desire

It’s true that when we started male chastity, I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. She agreed, and an experiment began where we both tried on male chastity. She didn’t think that I would tolerate wearing a cage for long and was surprised when our experiment stretched into years. My assumption, which I wrote about, was that at some point, we changed from desire to consent. In other words, it no longer mattered if I wanted to be in a male chastity device. I was in it as long as Mrs. Lion wanted me to be. The only way I could get out was to revoke my consent. I wasn’t about to do that.

When Mrs. Lion wrote that she felt possessive, and I suggested that a cage would guard her interest in my penis, that if she locked me up again, it would be her decision, not my interest in wearing a male chastity device. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still OK about being locked up, but my preference is to be wild. This is a much bigger deal than it seems on the surface.

I think it comes down to the difficulty Mrs. Lion has with taking charge of me. She had to work very hard to get to the point where she punished me for breaking rules without worrying about my desire to be punished. Her increasing ability to do this makes me feel safer and more secure. I hope it also lets her feel more in control. I imagined that she was extending this control to sexual matters too.

I realize that it’s tricky for her to assert herself. From my perspective, I won’t feel her possession of my penis until she takes the same control she does with punishment. I may want to wear my Jail Bird right now. I would hope that as far as she is concerned, it doesn’t matter. I need to know that I will wear it as long as she wants me to. My thoughts on the matter are not solicited, just as it is when she takes out the spanking bench.

We both know that my male chastity was my idea, and I asked her to try it. At this point, well into our tenth year, I think she has to own it. If she truly feels possessive about my penis, then it seems to me that a male chastity device is the best way to protect her property.

By:
In: Sex, Male Chastity

Mrs. Lion and I frequently disconnect when it comes to interpreting what we write. For example, Yesterday, in my post “A Possible Twist On Male Chastity,” I wrote about low-energy ways to increase my sexual activity. One suggestion was new and a little radical. I offered the idea that each day I could be required to self-stimulate, but not to orgasm, to prime my sexual pump, so to speak. The second idea was to lock me up again in a chastity device. The idea behind that was to make me more sensitive to her touch since my penis wouldn’t get any contact until it was unlocked.

She put a couple of comments in my post and said that she had to think more about these ideas. Later, I asked her what she was thinking. She said, “I can lock you up if you want.” I don’t know what I expected her to say, but the message I got was that she wasn’t engaged with either idea.

Again, what did I expect? I’ve been thinking about that. I guess I wanted her to decide if she wanted to try either idea and if she did, simply tell me (or lock me) without further discussion. I would be fine if she rejected both ideas. After all, they originated in my horny mind.

Both ideas involve very limited participation on her part. One only requires occasional observation and supervision. The other is locking and unlocking a chastity device. The key, in my mind, is that she signs up and takes control. Obviously, either works for me. What never works is “If you want.”

As Mrs. Lion knows, I may want now while horny, but I will most likely hate the idea later when I have to deal with it at times that sex isn’t interesting to me. That has always happened when I wear a chastity  device. In the past, Mrs. Lion is happy to unlock me if I complain about wearing it. I hate that. The real sense of belonging comes when she refuses to let me out.

When I think about all those male chastity stories, the central premise is that the keyholder refuses to release her male. All those years that I wore a male chastity device, I knew that Mrs. Lion would release me if I told her I didn’t want to be locked up. She wasn’t a pushover. She put up with some of my grumblings, but I knew that if I were sincere, the device would come off.

Still, it worked for us. We’re in a different place now. Mrs. Lion is a strict disciplinarian who won’t end a spanking because I’m truly unhappy with it. She reminds me that is the entire point. The same thing needs to be true if we resume locking me in a male chastity device or requiring daily sexual exercise. Sexual requirements should be as consistently enforced as my other rules.

Does that mean if Mrs. Lion locks me up again, I will never be wild? No, I don’t think so. It just means that I don’t get input into when that happens. The same is true with sexual exercise. I will surely get tired of it. I will probably have times when I can’t get hard. What happens then? Out comes the spanking bench.

As I see it, the entire point of my suggestions is to get Mrs. Lion to be more assertive over my libido. She certainly doesn’t have to follow either idea. She may have one of her own. I’m fine with that. I just feel a need for her control.

new developments

I wrote the above post before Mrs. Lion wrote hers–the one posted yesterday afternoon. We had a little discussion after I read it. Mrs. Lion said that she didn’t realize how possessive she was about my penis until after reading my post. She said that in her mind, the idea of me masturbating, even a little, was definitely not what she wanted. I said that it meant I had to be locked up again full-time.

She wasn’t so sure. She said that if given the two choices of me stimulating myself or me being caged, then wearing a male chastity device was the only choice. I agreed but also said that if she realized that she wanted exclusive sexual possession of her weenie, the only practical way to do that was to keep me in a male chastity device full-time. She seemed a little doubtful about that. She was thinking that there was no danger of me playing with it if she didn’t want me to. Up until right now, I’ve been permitted to fondle and get hard. It’s something I’ve always done now and then. Even if I agree not to do it, I know I will. It’s almost an unconscious habit.

If Mrs. Lion wants to feel that she has full sexual posession, then she has to guard access in a way that realistically assures her of her ownership. There’s only one way to do that. Then, she is faced with the practical issue of getting access when she wants it. Getting me in and out of a male chastity device has been annoying her since we started. I can’t do it for her. I just can’t see well enough.

That means she has to decide what’s going to work for us both. Wearing a male chastity device is inconvenient for me. It’s pretty comfortable, but I have to deal with the little pinches and adjustments a cage requires. Still, it may be worth the trouble for us both.

I certainly feel her sexual control if she locks me up and makes it clear that I have no say on if or when I can be wild again. It is a constant reminder of her ownership of my penis if I can’t unlock on my own. The key for me is removal of choice. The advantage for her is that she can better feel her possession of my penis.

That’s a new concept for both of us. I never imagined that she felt possessive. I always thought that she liked knowing that all of my orgasms were produced by her. I didn’t think she cared whether or not I got myself hard. Apparently, she didn’t know she cared, either. Logically, if she wants exclusive possession, not only my orgasms but also my erections belong to her. Controlling them requires a male chastity device. I can’t get hard if I’m wearing one.

I’m not thrilled about being locked up again, but I do see the value of it. Now that Mrs. Lion is consciously aware that she wants full ownership, I wonder if seeing me locked in my cage will give her pleasure.

[Mrs. Lion — I still think this issue is not black and white. Given choice A (Lion masturbates but not to orgasm) or choice B (he’s locked in the cage again), I choose B. I don’t want him masturbating. However, I told him a while ago that I don’t mind him touching himself even if he gets hard. If he can manage not to masturbate, and he’s maintained that up to now, he doesn’t need to be locked up. Call that choice C. For the purposes of the proposed experiment, there is no choice C. If there’s no choice C, and I don’t want him to masturbate (which I don’t) then I’m left with choice B. If/when the experiment is over, choice C is back in play.]

By:
In: Sex, Male Chastity

Yesterday, I asked (indirectly) whether Mrs. Lion would lock me up again (“Will She Lock Me Up In A Male Chastity Device Again?“). She didn’t answer. I know that she finds the hardware inconvenient to handle. When I’m wild (unlocked), access is easy. All she has to do is call me, and I’m in position, ready for fun. With a male chastity device, she has to unlock it and have me remove the base ring. She doesn’t like doing that. I think she worries about hurting my balls.

I don’t need a male chastity device locked on me to prevent masturbation. I doubt I could get myself off if I wanted to. She trained jerking off out of me a long time ago. The only real benefits of locking me up are that I can’t get an erection or touch my penis. I admit that I do some touching during the day or in the evening. A male chastity device makes that impossible.

Mrs. Lion has never been that interested in whether or not I play with her weenie so long as I don’t ejaculate. I never get close to the edge when I fondle. I wonder if I would be more responsive if I had been wearing the male chastity device. Deprived of stimulation, my penis might be more responsive to her. Or, maybe I would be less responsive because the lack of stimulation lowered my interest in getting off.

There’s something appealing about a complete hands-off policy. Ten years ago, I wouldn’t believe that I could be trained to stop masturbating. It was a normal part of my week. But I am trained not to do it. I’m in my tenth year of not jerking off. Ten years. Wow.

OK, a male chastity device and a strict no-jerking-off rule changed my behavior. Can the male chastity device and another strict rule keep my hands off except to pee or shower? Would that rule make any sense to Mrs. Lion?

Mrs. Lion never engaged in sexual touching. [Mrs. Lion — Never? Ever? I wouldn’t say that. It’s been a long time, and it was probably never as often as Lion did it, but I wouldn’t say never.] She has never had any interest in masturbating or self-stimulation. Come to think of it, most of the women I’ve been intimate with never played with themselves. I wonder if because Mrs. Lion never does any personal sexual touching, she doesn’t imagine I do either.

On the flip side of this conversation, is it useful to require me to play with myself but not ejaculate? You could argue that it would keep the penis in working order, ready for attention from my lioness. Do you see where this is going?

I like sexual control. Wearing a male chastity device is sexual control. So is required self-stimulation. Both ideas appeal to me. It’s daily sexual engagement without requiring Mrs. Lion to do more work beyond making and enforcing the rule. How’s that for a twist on male chastity? [Mrs. Lion — He just wants permission to play with himself. On the other hand, if he primes the pump…. This requires more thought.]