I have been reviewing comments and posts over the last week or so. I thought I saw a theme, so I went back further. Sure enough there is a subtext that certainly makes me look silly. For example, Pageantry and Fanfare, Mrs. Lion’s post from earlier this week makes it abundantly clear how silly it is of me to want my key inaccessible. The ineluctable conclusion that you, dear reader, must make is that I am a kinky child with a very indulgent wife. In the dominant/submissive fantasy world, that would make her the ideal mate. How many guys want to be demeaned and objectified? I know that many do. How many women roll their eyes and sigh when they read about the lengths that my dear lioness goes to indulge my perversions? How many guys think I am the luckiest man in the world?

In many respects I am. After all, I’m living a powerful male fantasy. I can’t reasonably expect that my wife will enthusiastically embrace these things. Some women do, but most, like Mrs. Lion, don’t. She certainly provokes chuckles when she writes about the clearly insane lengths I asked her to go to secrete my cage’s key. Any rational person would immediately see that there is no real need to hide it at all. Enforced chastity is, after all, my thing. Almost two years of lockup prove I’m not going to unlock my cage without permission. So isn’t it funny that I would want the key securely locked away?

There is nothing rational about wanting enforced chastity. The same is true of the other things Mrs. Lion does for me. To many it may seem crazy, to others, funny. I agree that some of it is funny. It may be silly that I want to lose the ability to unlock myself. After all, I wouldn’t anyway. But in my toddler mind, there is a big difference between being able to sneak out the key and unlock myself and being completely unable to unlock without discovery. It’s the old “won’t” and “can’t” thing. I get a far stronger message from “can’t” and “no” than I do from “won’t” or “maybe”. It’s how I am wired.

It isn’t that talking about how funny I am isn’t appreciated. Mrs. Lion’s “Pageantry and Fanfare” post drew this high praise from Mrs. Fever, one of our longstanding readers,

“‘Like’ is not strong enough: I wish there was a ‘Love’ button for this post. Or, at the very least, a thumbs-up or fist-bump. Pageantry. *nodnodnod*”

When the laughter dies down, maybe a deeper context will seep through. Yes, my kinks are irrational and to some, funny. Do Mrs. Fever and Mrs. Lion imagine that I didn’t see the inconsistencies in my request for a more secure key lockup? Did they consider that the request was made to make it impossible for me to cheat without discovery? Could they understand that it is important for me to remove even the possibility of unseen cheating? I’m sure they could, but the inherent silliness of such a request couldn’t be met with understanding silence.

For the record, I don’t mind the toddler references at all. I think they are a fair representation of some of my non-kink behaviors. I like the characterization. It fits my fantasies on one level, and is accurate feedback on another. In fact, Mrs. Lion’s references to me as a toddler feel to me like she is embracing her role in FLM and domestic discipline. I am happy about that. I don’t mind her writing about that at all. I like that her writing often makes me chuckle. I also don’t mind reading about my wish for more security. I can laugh at myself. Mrs. Lion writes very funny stuff sometimes. She’s right. I am a toddler and it makes sense to think of me as one of the kids. Fortunately for her, I am the only one still living at home.

One of the things I find most interesting about reading blogs is the writer’s choice of content. Blogs like ours were created to share information and experiences about enforced male chastity. Most never make their first birthday. That’s not too surprising. Based on my reading, it seems that once the novelty wears off, wearing a chastity device stops being very interesting. How exciting is simply having opportunities to ejaculate scheduled? It’s very exciting to some like me, but I can understand that it has limited appeal to many. Ok, that might explain why some people quit enforced chastity, but I think the early demise of many blogs is caused by something else: the fact that you can only write so much about being locked up and waiting.

Some of the blogs that keep going focus on describing teasing and release. They are extremely explicit and delight their readers with arousing sexual writing. Others branch out. Some talk about more extensive power exchanges and end up being about dominance and submission with little-if-any mention of enforced chastity. Others talk about life surrounding their kinks. We fall into that category, I think. This sort of blog has a better chance for a longer life. Of course, the underlying kinks have to stay in place. It isn’t too interesting to read or write about a once-kinky relationship that is now vanilla. Some blogs chronicle the more tragic deterioration of a relationship. The kink rarely causes the problem. Typically the kink was tried as a way to attempt to fix a much larger problem.

I can’t claim that I had any grand purpose in mind when I started The Journal. My modest concept was to write what I know about enforced chastity and BDSM (the non-blog pages on this site) and to write a journal of my surrender. I had no idea if anyone but Mrs. Lion and I would be interested, but I wanted to write. It turned out that Mrs. Lion likes writing too. We fell into a pattern where I would journal my thoughts and feelings and Mrs. Lion would report the events supporting our activities. It evolved into us both expressing what we are feeling and what we want. This can, at times, cause problems.

Sometimes I write what I believe to be Mrs. Lion’s feelings and interest. I will claim she is getting into an activity and is becoming an enthusiastic advocate. We preview each other’s writing. When she reads those claims, she will correct me. Most of the time she will want me to publish what I wrote. Then in her daily post she will correct my mistakes. Other times, I will edit the post to more correctly represent her. Rarely, one of us will write something that is difficult for the other to read and would be too personal to go into the blog. I’m usually the one who is unhappy with a post my lioness writes. It’s not that she is wrong, but reading it can really hurt. There is never an intention to hurt. It’s a topic that is rooted in very deep feelings and the post exposes some raw nerves.

That post never makes it here. But its message is heard. Oddly, these occasional unpublished posts turn out to be some of the most valuable writing either of us does. When Mrs. Lion writes one of those posts, it points out a way that I’m doing something she doesn’t like. It isn’t a simple thing like interrupting her. It is something she gives up because I don’t like her doing it. Fortunately, there isn’t too much that falls into that category. But prior to our blog, I would never find out about any of them. Yesterday, she wrote one of those posts. She was 100 percent right. It’s something I have to change. But it is also something based in very old, deep-seated feelings. She feels badly that it hurt so much for me to read what she wrote. I don’t want things to change, but they must. I’m wrong and unfair to refuse to change. She’s resolved to get past my objections and do what she wants. I support that even if I hate it.

I don’t mean to be cryptic about this. But it’s important for you to know that there are boundaries between our public writing and our more intimate conversations. I don’t think Mrs. Lion would have even touched this subject if she knew how it would make me feel. I am glad she did. These unsaid feelings, suppressed wishes, and buried sadness can only weaken a relationship. Whatever the mechanism, if they can come out in a loving way, the relationship will grow and the love deepen further. I’m not trying to stoke your curiosity. Let’s leave it with my assurance it isn’t a major problem; just something that will make Mrs. Lion’s life better and shouldn’t hurt mine at all. In this case, I am glad to share the “why” even if I don’t want to share the “what”. I hope you understand.