We’ve been together for 17 years. Seven of them have been spent with our FLRD and orgasm control in place. As Michael (collardmichaelcom.blog) pointed out in a comment, we don’t seem to get angry at each other. It’s true we get annoyed. I growl and Mrs. Lion snarls. Since we’ve added domestic discipline to our marriage, there is less snarling and more spanking. I don’t want to give the wrong impression. I can’t remember more than two times I’ve been spanked for annoying Mrs. Lion. I expected much more frequent visits with her paddle to manage things I do that piss her off. That hasn’t happened.

It’s tempting to digress into the why-I’m-not-punished-for-pissing-her-off discussion; that belongs in a post all by itself. The simple truth is that things don’t escalate very far with us. I think we both had enough bad experiences in our lives to give us a sense of proportion. I can’t speak for Mrs. Lion, but for me, it’s pretty simple: is it worth risking the most wonderful thing in my life for some issue? I’ve never been able to answer yes to that question.

It could be that Mrs. Lion is a very easy-going, good-natured woman. Her good nature sometimes worries me because I know that there may be things going on under the surface she is reluctant to express. We’ve talked about this many times and she promises to not let things simmer. This seems to be very difficult for her. I’m not sure why. She has to know that she can’t lose me by growling at me or spanking me. I guess there’s a nagging fear under the surface that the little things will build up and I could lose her.

Some psychologists claim that couples who don’t fight have unhealthy relationships. Their theory is that there must be conflict in any relationship. If the conflict isn’t brought to the surface, it can fester and eventually destroy the couple. This sort of thinking was a very big deal in the 70s. The idea was that every feeling should be expressed, evaluated, and resolved. It didn’t matter how trivial. This is a very tiring way to live. We just don’t want to go that route.

I tend to express my feelings. I don’t think it’s a mystery how I feel about anything. This isn’t true of my lioness. However, I think she has gotten much better at letting me know when things bother her. This is probably the main reason we’ve never fought. She’s used to me growling and knows how to manage it. In her role as my disciplining wife, while she has the tools to express her feelings, she’s been slow to use them.

I don’t think she believes she really can. Even if she doesn’t, over the years we’ve worked out our own style of communication that satisfies us. We’ve both been open in our posts. They accurately reflect how we’re feeling at the time we write them. We’ve assiduously avoided any whitewashing. With us, it’s pretty much what you see is what you get.

I’m still committed to helping Mrs. Lion extend her disciplinary power. I know there are times that she just stuffs her feelings to avoid any growls or snarls. I keep hoping any snarl opportunity will convert to spanking. That would be best for me, I think. (Famous last words!)

Compared with many locked males I did quite well in the orgasm department. Mrs. Lion is going to improve her oral stats, she says.I hope so. Maybe we will hear from Team Vagina too.

We’ve closed the books on another year. 2019 with a very tough year for me. I had a lot of medical issues that ranged from kidney stones through spinal surgery, to glaucoma and three eye surgeries. Mrs. Lion took wonderful care of me through all of this. I missed 13 consecutive weeks of work because of the spinal surgery. Through all this we had a pretty active sex life. You can see the year-end statistics in the chart to the right. You might note that October was a very big month for orgasms. That was because we were celebrating Unlocktober. Mrs. Lion did her very best and managed to get me off 8 times. Despite that, my average wait time was seven days.

This year we had New Year’s Eve fireworks of our own. Mrs. Lion, in response to my comment that her spanking the day before wasn’t bad because she had me wearing panties, decided to do an encore performance. This time, I may not have seen fireworks but I certainly saw stars during my spanking. She had me wear a pair of her old panties (she had given them to me earlier in the year for my collection of women’s underwear). She adjusted her stroke to compensate for the extra protection the cloth gave me. That spanking really hurt! She told me that I was bleeding. I wasn’t surprised. The panties had a big blood spot when she was through.

Earlier in the day, she sent me email with a very sweet message:

” I guess I’m sort of proud of me too. Who knew that the person barely hitting you at first, is now whomping you and making you sorry you ever asked for it?”

I was surprised when that message came in out of the blue. This is the first time Mrs. Lion actually said that she felt good about her spanking skills. She’s absolutely right. When I get in trouble, I am sorry I ever asked her to spank me. [Mrs. Lion – It wasn’t out of the blue. Lion said he was proud of me first.]

Even more importantly, this is no longer something I can ask her to stop. Both enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) belong to her. On this first day of 2020, I’m surprised that sexual control and corporal punishment have gone from something I wanted because it was hot to think about to a part of my marriage. Yes, I did want this not to be under my control. Before someone says, “Be Careful What You Wish for,” I’m not a bit disappointed. As Willy Wonka said at the end of the original Willy Wonka movie with Gene Wilder, “Do you know what happened to the little boy who got everything he wanted? He lived happily ever after!”

That’s me. Well, that’s me right now. Last night, bent over the side of the bed being paddled with Mrs. Lion’s very painful ferule paddle, I was anything but happy. We’ll see if I remember to remind Mrs. Lion on Saturday that it’s punishment day. I better; otherwise I expect I’ll have to endure a 10 minute spanking. The one last night was five minutes long.

If you haven’t already figured it out, I’m writing this on New Year’s Day. I write my posts the day before they publish. My posts are released at 5 AM my local time (PST). I’m not getting get up at 3 AM to write. I’m sound asleep when they go out. This creates a rather confusing situation. Mrs. Lion writes her posts the day they are published. You hear about what happened the night before. Then I come along the next day with my perspective on the same night that Mrs. Lion wrote about. That’s one of the hazards of daily posting. When I don’t write about what happened to me, everything works perfectly. When I do, I’m a day behind.

Speaking of behind, mine still hurts from last night (New Year’s Eve). In fact, it hurts more now than it did then. Last night, before midnight, Mrs. Lion attempted to give me an orgasm. She used her Magic Wand. It automatically turns itself off after about 20 minutes. You can turn it on again, of course. She applied it to my penis until it turned itself off, and then turned it on again. She kept trying. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get there. I commented that I’m really broken. She gave me that look and said I’m not.

Coming up later this year will be two reviews: I’ll be reviewing the Evotion chastity device and I will be doing a rundown on the latest male sex machines. The Lion test labs will be busy. I got an email a bit ago from a chastity device maker. They were discussing having me review their device. They said that they liked the idea because I had a sex-friendly blog. How does the maker of chastity devices, which prevents sex, think a sex-friendly blog is a good place for a review? I’m just kidding. We all know that caged males are always horny. I’m very sex friendly, especially when locked up.

Speaking of locked up, I wonder if Mrs. Lion is going to mark the new year by snapping the lock shut on one of my devices. There certainly is an incentive: my lack of sexual responsiveness may be a way of my body asking for captivity again. I don’t know. I know that I do consider having a chastity device on my penis as a sexy thing. Maybe it’s time to return to the cage. It’s a little embarrassing to do it, but I’ll ask Mrs. Lion. I’m sure she will oblige me. She’s ever so nice that way. She’s not so nice about unlocking me if I want to get out.

My life is a little bit like a roach motel; it’s easy to get in, but impossible to get out. It’s a good thing I like it so much.

Every marriage develops little things that one partner does that annoys the other. One of my pet peeves is that very often Mrs. Lion doesn’t acknowledge that she heard something I said. Case in point: On the way home this afternoon from a doctor visit, I mentioned that I was feeling pretty horny. Mrs. Lion silently continued driving, eyes on the road.

Did she hear me? Will she think I’m being pushy if I repeat myself? Finally after spending entirely too much time thinking about this, I asked her she heard me when I told her that I was feeling horny. She said she did.

Oh good, she heard what I said.

Of course that left me with lots of unanswered questions I didn’t feel I should ask. Is she glad that I am horny? Is she looking forward to teasing me? Is she annoyed I brought up the topic of sex? I don’t know. A while ago she mentioned that she liked it when I told her my sexual weather report in one of my daily emails. I began doing it. I never got a reaction.

I guess she finds it useful information. I have no idea how she processes it. I find it a bit uncomfortable to just throw a vulnerable, self-revealing comment up in the air and watch it land with a plop. As I think about it, I realize this is a pattern with her. If I don’t see her making any moves toward me while were in bed watching TV, I will ask her if she’d like to snuggle. The most enthusiastic reply I’ve ever gotten is, “okay.”

Most of the time I try to fill in the blanks myself. But it isn’t very rewarding. Another example is my new Cherry Keeper male chastity device. I didn’t learn how she felt about it until I read her comment in the post she wrote the other day. Even though I’ve mentioned this several times, she still hasn’t told me how she feels about having me locked in a chastity device.

These blanks even occur with discipline. When she spanks me, she very frequently says nothing at all. She doesn’t mention why she’s doing it or how she feels about the offense. Some of the time, she will ask me to tell her what I did to earn the spanking. I do. No reaction from her. The spankings themselves are delivered silently with no expressions of feeling.

I suppose they don’t have to be dialogues or, more correctly, monologues. I think that more verbal feedback would be a big help to me. I find myself more and more reluctant to say how I feel. The silence often makes me feel that her responses to me are chores; mechanical activities she knows I want or expect.

When this extends to her teasing sessions, I start feeling badly and emotionally disconnect. Maybe I’m odd, but I need more than penis stimulation to truly get into feeling aroused. Yes, eventually I will get to the edge and beyond even if she remains silent. In a lot of ways it almost feels like I’m doing it myself.

I’ve often mentioned that it’s a lot of fun for me to anticipate future activities, whether a spanking or teasing. Occasionally, Mrs. Lion will email me a hint of what’s to come. Much more frequently, she’ll tell you what she’s planning and when I read her post I have something to look forward to.

I think this communication needs to be much more direct between us. I don’t have any idea how to improve the situation. I’m just hoping that somehow our communications will be two-way instead of what we are doing now.

[Mrs. Lion — As I explained to Lion in the car, when he said he was horny I was fighting a battle with the cruise control. I do like to hear when he’s horny. Often, I’ll say I’m sure I can make it worse later on. I did tell him how I felt about the Cherry Keeper – both versions. I usually ask or tell Lion why he’s being punished and when he says it hurts I tell him he shouldn’t do X again if he doesn’t want it to hurt. And we’ve always been mostly silent, both of us, during any kind of sex. But I understand the need for more communication. I think we’ve been lacking in that department for some time now.]

This blog is generally limited in terms of what you expect to read. It’s about power and sex; more specifically female power and domination. I’m very lucky that our relationship is rich and Mrs. Lion is so generous in her efforts to make me happy. I am very grateful.

Sometimes it’s easy to overlook just how rare this gift is. Sexual domination isn’t the least bit organic for Mrs. Lion. It’s probably 180 degrees from her natural inclinations. But she adopted her role because she knows it makes me happy. I worry that her loss of libido is caused by how far she’s drifted from her sexual compass. Is the price of pleasing me the loss of her own sexual pleasure?

This is one of those “what if” questions. They’re impossible to answer. But I still wonder. What if I were sexually aggressive and initiated sexual activity? Would Mrs. Lion still want sex? We’ll never know. Even if I suddenly changed and became the sexually aggressive macho male, I don’t know if she would be different. I wonder about that.

Before I met her and my master/slave relationship was over, I thought about what would be next for me. Did I want another male-dominant power exchange? I was unhappy with the way that relationship deteriorated. I realized that I wanted peace. I wanted a warm. loving relationship. I imagined comfort, security, and lots of shared love. Sex and power weren’t even on my list of desired attributes.

Even now, while I really love our power exchange, the top of my wish list is still love and warmth. I imagine that Mrs. Lion had a similar set of desires. Ironically, our relationship began with sex as the reason we got together. I don’t think either of us believed that the other stuff was attainable. We were both horny and were looking for some fun.

Love quietly crept into our hearts. After some time, we aren’t exactly sure when, we realized we wanted to be together all the time. We had very little information about one another. We didn’t know what sort of music each liked; probably a good thing. We have nothing in common there. The same is true of a lot of superficial stuff that couples normally share before they even consider love.

That may be why we are so different yet completely devoted to one another. We went from sex to love. Then, Mrs. Lion learned I love opera, theater, and veggies with my dinner. I discovered she likes fast food, contemporary rock, and puzzles. Our interests don’t overlap. Over the years, we’ve acquired appreciation for some of each other’s interests. We know we are very different from one another. We don’t care.

I never believed that there is some organic, inexplicable force that binds some people to one another. Mrs. Lion and I are an example that this force exists. Moreover, it transcends any superficial interests, including sex. Even though it was sex that brought us together, it no longer takes priority in terms of us. All I know is that we belong together. Boy am I glad I found her!