By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal

A lever is a simple tool that amplifies the force applied to it. Using a lever, it is possible to lift a weight that you could never lift without it. There are also financial levers where you can vastly increase profit by increasing risk proportionately. You can reduce the time it takes to complete a task by dividing it among a group of people. That’s another form of leverage. Essentially, a lever reduces the input needed to get a desired output.

This principle is a key part of enforced chastity. The simple act of locking a chastity device on a penis provides long term occupation of the locked penis. I’ll explain. The male wants his keyholder to control him sexually. One way to do that would be to continuously supervise what his penis is doing. This could include keeping him under observation, asking him for detailed sexual status reports, or “testing” him with teasing to assure he is appropriately horny. All those activities take time.

If, on the other hand, you lock his penis in a chastity device, you need not monitor his activity. He is physically prevented from sexual arousal or orgasm. Sexual leverage. Over time he will be conditioned to only expect sexual arousal from you, whether he is locked or not. What’s more, within reason, he will love what you are doing.

There’s a dark side to sexual leverage. It can be a way to avoid providing any direct sexual pleasure while still assuring his fidelity. Some women who aren’t particularly fond of a penis, can use enforced chastity as a way of eliminating contact with one.

They can have the male lock himself in the device and then give her the key. When she decides it’s time for him to ejaculate, she can give him the key and let him jerk off. Then, she can have him lock up again. She’s managed to keep him sexually occupied without any need to even approach his cock. She can even have him service her with his mouth and hands, all the time being locked in the chastity device; the ultimate in sexual leverage.

This works well for some couples. In some cases, it’s accepted by the male because it provides him with sex that involves her on some level. It can even be an attractive choice when it is between a sexless marriage and remote control enforced chastity.

Granted, that’s an extreme example that conveys the essence of sexual leverage. In our case, Mrs. Lion certainly exercises some sexual leverage. She has to. The biggest problem with a 24/7 power exchange is the extra burden managing it puts on the dominant partner. This extra burden ends a great many of these relationships.

Enforced chastity offers the ability to manage the effort needed to sustain the power exchange. It’s possible to work out a good balance between vanilla life and the chastity kink. In our case, Mrs. Lion allows me to put the cock and ball ring on, then she locks the cage in place. She also unlocks and removes the cage and lets me work the ring off. She is always directly involved in the lock/unlock process.

Every day or so, she unlocks me and edges me. When I am due for an orgasm, she provides one. While I am locked, she enjoys getting regular lion “weather reports” on my state of arousal. The enforced chastity portion of our power exchange is balanced with our lives. We both like the daily snuggle and tease sessions. Other than those rather short periods of sexual activity, we are a normal couple. The sexual leverage of the cage provides enough stimulation for me and prevents the power exchange from overwhelming her.

There it is: sexual leverage.

By:
In: Advice for a new keyholder, Keyholder, Lion's Journal

Have you been to an amusement park and took a ride on the roller coaster? Exciting! Have you been to a theme park, like Disney World, and rode Space Mountain. It’s a roller coaster too. Which was more fun? I vote for Space Mountain. The Disney attraction if you see it in the light, is more of a kiddie coaster, but because there is a story wrapped around the ride, it is much more exciting.

The reason for this is that the amusement park ride is just hardware, Space Mountain is an experience. While waiting on line, you pass through all sorts of space stuff: a control room, countdowns, and other interesting displays. By the time you get to the actual ride you are primed for a space experience. You’ve been prepared for an exciting ride in space.

There is a strong parallel with enforced chastity. None of the fantasies are about someone simply locking the penis in a device. There is always a story. It could be the possessive wife/girlfriend who doesn’t want to take any chances her man will cheat. Or, maybe he can’t be trusted not to jerk off to pornography. There is always a reason the device is introduced. Once it is in place, she discovers other benefits like increased sexual attention to her, a willingness to do housework, etc. In some stories she also humiliates the caged male. I think you might agree that thinking about the fantasy plot line is every bit as exciting as wearing the chastity device. I would be surprised if many new keyholders realize the importance of creating a story as well as managing their caged males’ ability to orgasm.

Years ago, I attended a workshop for BDSM switches (people who assume both dominant and submissive roles). Two of the speakers were a married couple who both switched. They took turns being dominant over the other. They demonstrated how they did this. I was very impressed that as soon as one of them assumed the dominant role, their entire demeanor changed. The dominant partner became strict and autocratic. He (or she) would act as though the role was permanent. There was a story.

When she took charge, he was told he had been naughty and needed a spanking; which, of course, she pulled down his pants and administered. Until I saw that, I hadn’t really put the pieces together. Her words to him were hot, to me at least. They were way more arousing than the actual spanking.

Having a story isn’t about elaborate role playing. It isn’t about the keyholder becoming someone else; someone she doesn’t want to become. It’s about introducing just enough story to add heat. A simple technique is to add a “reason” for what you are doing. For example, reminding him that you think it is “cute” or “funny” he can’t get hard. Or that it is fun for you that he gets so frustrated. Your story is that you are enjoying his situation.

If you need inspiration, read some of the extensive chastity fiction that is peanut-buttered all over the Web. The key to a good story is that you, the keyholder, is inserting yourself into his situation. You are providing him with deeper reasons why his penis is in a cage. You don’t have to be silly or extreme, just do enough to get him to react. Every guy is different, but I’m willing to bet it will be easy to find a few simple things that will provide an extremely hot story for his lockup.

By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal

The sun did come out on Sunday. On Saturday night, Mrs. Lion surprised me with oral edging. This time she restrained herself and even though I got very close, I didn’t get to come. My no-orgasm-before date is today.  So, starting today odds improve that I will get to come. I’m lucky in that Mrs. Lion really enjoys giving me orgasms. That makes me a temptation each time she unlocks me. Oh yes, after the edging session on Saturday night, I was back in my cage.  I can’t say that I exactly missed it, but it does feel comfortable now that it is back in place.

It may seem silly, but I starting to realize that being locked into a chastity device is a sort of sex insurance policy for me. When I’m wearing the device I know that Mrs. Lion is thinking of me sexually. What? Let me explain. As long as I am locked in the Jail Bird, we both know that I have no chance to get erect and come. I’m sure that fact crosses her mind now and then. Certainly, it must when we are together since I am naked and the cage is in plain view. I know that I’m not triggering her libido, but I am reaching her consciousness. That’s enough for her to consider my plight and take appropriate action.

On the other hand, if I am a wild lion, there is nothing to note. My penis is exposed in its natural state. On some level she knows that she has nothing to do to allow me to function normally. I have no idea if this is true or not, but in my mind if I am in the wild state, she is free to return to our old pattern of sexless friendship. I’m not saying that would really happen; in fact, I’m very sure it wouldn’t. But on a deeper, emotional level, I don’t feel as confident.

In fact, I think I have been conditioned to associate the chastity device with sex. Over the last years I have almost always had sexual attention a short time after the cage was removed. That makes sense since the cage has been on almost constantly for over two years. I’ve learned that when the cage comes off, I get aroused and get some sexual attention from my lioness. When I’m wild for any length of time (the longest being about a week when the cage was being adjusted), there is no assurance I will get any sexual attention at all. In fact, when we went camping and I was uncaged during the three and four day trips, I did get some sexual attention. But it felt different to me.

I don’t think either of us intended for me to associate being locked in a chastity device with getting sexual attention. In retrospect, it makes sense. For years before enforced chastity I had almost no sexual attention from Mrs. Lion. From the very start, when the chastity device was locked on, I got very frequent and consistent sexual stimulation from her. I’ve learned that being locked means I will get sexual attention.

Maybe one reason I want to be locked up and I’m not entirely comfortable when the device is off is at least partly based on my unconscious association with chastity and sexual attention. That could explain why I want to get the device on as soon as possible after an edging or orgasm session. I can’t say for sure. This really is subconscious.

If, in fact, I am now conditioned to wear the device for whatever subconscious reasons, is that the desired state for a male under sexual control? Is this what makes a keyholder happy? I’ve been trained away from masturbation. I don’t even think about it anymore. And now I’m trained to need to be locked in a chastity device. I know Mrs. Lion is happy I no longer want to masturbate. I wonder how she feels about my need to be locked up. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

This may pose a practical problem. There are times, like when we use our camper, when it is much easier for me to not wear the cage. The design of RV toilets makes peeing sitting down a very wet, unpleasant exercise for me. My balls end up in the toilet water. But if I am not comfortable in this state, what can we do. It’s way too much trouble to ask her to unlock me each time I want to pee. I suppose I could use a diaper which avoids the problem in the camper. When we go out, there are generally urinals or conventional toilets. Alternatively, maybe wearing a cock ring will be a suitable substitute for the cage. If it works, my vote is for the cock ring. Diapers are not my favorite fashion accessory. I have serious doubts, however, the ring will work.

Of course, I can just suck it up and go wild when required. I just don’t know.

By:
In: Femdom, Keyholder, Lion's Journal

We get a lot of questions from new keyholders about how to build the enforced chastity power exchange. I think there are a few assumptions people make that may get in the way of their attempt to get going.

In the BDSM world, it looks like the dominant partner does anything he/she wants to the helpless bottom. In fact, the bottom/submissive is the one controlling the scene. It all starts with negotiations when the bottom informs the top about activities that are not acceptable (limits). Then, the bottom goes on to explain what he hopes will be done to him.  When the scene begins, the top can choose activities from what the bottom will allow. If things get too intense, the bottom uses a safeword and activity stops. The bottom retains ultimate control.

Of course there are variations on this, but you get the idea. Enforced male chastity starts in a similar way. In our case, I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. I then explained how I thought it should go. I said that I thought she would make me wait until I was desperate for an orgasm and then give me one.

Right from the start she decided to do something different. She reasoned that if she was in charge, then she could turn the tables and give me an orgasm every day. So she did. I didn’t like it. For one thing, I wasn’t used to coming that often and it didn’t feel very good. For another, I had a very different idea of what I signed up to do.

Mrs. Lion was both right and wrong. She was right that I surrendered control of my sexuality and she absolutely had the right to jerk me off three times a day if she wanted. She was wrong in expecting me to be able to handle it right from the start.

Power exchanges start off with an agreement to surrender power to another. That agreement is a sort of contract. It bestows rights on the top, or keyholder in my case. What it doesn’t do is change my physical or emotional dynamic. Yes, my wish was coming true, but I was unprepared to manage the ramifications. It’s like that commercial where a man finds a dusty lamp, rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie offers to grant a wish. The man wishes for a million bucks and the genie produces a million male deer.

The keyholder is a genie. She can grant her partner’s wish for sexual surrender. She can be like the genie in the commercial and make him regret not being more specific, or she can use her new power to condition him to do what she wants.

For example, if Mrs. Lion wanted me to come every day, I would need conditioning to be able to physically manage it and emotionally understand it to be a valid expression of the power she was given. Perhaps if she started making me come every three days, then after a while, every other day, finally every day, I would have been able to manage daily ejaculations.

The same is true with making the caged male wait longer for a chance to come. In the beginning if you unlock him and give him sex at about the same frequency he had before being locked up, he will almost certainly object to this. His fantasy, after all, is to wait a long time to come. You’re in charge. Ignore it. Instead, very gradually increase his wait. You are conditioning him.

This process, along with a comfortable chastity device is almost guaranteed to keep things going. If you grant him his wish, he will be unprepared for the feelings enforced chastity bring up. He needs time to get used to your control before you actually use your new power. If the device isn’t comfortable, look for one that is, but don’t stop the orgasm control. He has to understand that the device isn’t why he only comes when allowed. Your power does not need hardware to be enforced.

Once chastity and your power are established, you can really be a genie. For example, I mentioned that I had read about men being made to wear diapers. Diaper wearing was not something Mrs. Lion had any particular interest in making me do, but we tried because I asked. When she had me wear them, I complained because they were hot to wear to bed. So she stopped making me wear them overnight and pretty much stopped making me wear them at all. I also mentioned maybe panties would be something she could make me wear. So I wore them for a day or so. I told her that they did nothing for me. She told me she felt the same way. So they remain in the drawer.

She expressed an interest in pegging me. When 2.0 emerged, she decided to start preparing me for a real pegging by our fucking machine. So, almost every night something goes up my ass to get me used to the intrusion. I am being conditioned to get pegged. More importantly, her authority is reinforced by the fact that I may have started her on the path to pegging, but it has been made abundantly clear that I can not stop when it gets uncomfortable or not as interesting as I imagined.

Each time that I get a “wish” granted and then learn that maybe it wasn’t as good an idea as I first thought, is a new opportunity to increase Mrs. Lion’s control. I think that too many guys convince their keyholders that topping from the bottom means she is granting their wishes. It’s not. Each request is a new opportunity to be the genie who gave the guy a million bucks; the four-footed kind.