Sometimes I’m not exactly sure what went wrong. Maybe it was because I didn’t check out Lion’s buns or ask how they felt. Maybe it was because I didn’t pull out a butt plug. When I came back from my shower and got under the covers, Lion said he wanted dessert. It’s true, I could have asked if he wanted any other kind of attention. Instead, I just assumed he didn’t. We held hands and then he fell asleep.

He’ll be the first to say if he falls asleep, I automatically remove the possibility of sex. It’s not absolutely true, but there have been times that I was ready to do something when he was sleeping and when he woke up I wasn’t in the mood. He also says I can wake him since he doesn’t usually realize he’s fallen asleep. The problem with that is I think if he’s asleep he must be tired. Waking him won’t help anyone. Of course, there are other times when I think he must be well rested after a nap so we can play then. Sometimes he wants to and other times he says it’s too late.

We may not communicate well at times, but boy do I know he wants to be waxed! He’s mentioned it several times including last night when he asked if I had any idea when I could wax him. Unbeknownst to him, I already had the pantry ready and was planning on telling him we’d do it today. Way to steal my thunder, Lion. Sheesh! At this point, the wax has been melting for about an hour. I estimate it will be ready by 3. Depending on how I feel as I get going, I may or may not be able to do the whole Lion in one shot. I usually do the front on one day and the back in another. Since it’s Sunday, there really isn’t another day until next weekend. However, Lion tends not to be very furry on the backside. That means I can either ignore it till next time or I can polish it off quickly. In either case, the most important parts will be done today.

As I wax him, I usually give him some weenie attention. As I oil him up or clean him off, we have some fun. Today, it will also be a gauge as to how horny he might be for later on. A very excited Lion at waxing time doesn’t always translate to a very excited Lion at night, but there’s a good chance it will. If nothing else, I’ll know if he’s open to the challenge.

I am a creature of habit. Not that I don’t go with the flow, but if the flow is interrupted too much I get thrown off. This mess with our computers at work and coworkers getting COVID and now we have to pick up our camper that’s been happily residing at the repair shop for months is getting to me. Oh, and it’s the end of the year which is traditionally not my favorite anyway. I’ve been on the phone more the past week than I’ve been in the entire year. I hate the phone. I feel like everything needs to be done by yesterday. So when Lion asked if I was doing a post, well, let’s just say it was more fuel for the fire.

I don’t know if that’s part of the reason I didn’t follow through as much with Lion last night. I was playing with him under the blankets and it didn’t seem like he was in the mood. At a certain point, I had to move because watching TV over my shoulder hurts my neck. From my point of view, Lion wasn’t in the mood, although I didn’t actually ask. I assumed, which definitely makes an ass of me. I think it was more than an hour later, Lion asked if I just wasn’t in the mood. Huh? I thought he was the one not in the mood. He said he doesn’t normally get hard when I play with him under the blankets. He got hard on Monday night. Is my memory that short? Do I really not realize that he doesn’t get hard under the blankets? I thought he did. At least a little. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

We’ve had the discussion recently that maybe all I have to do is “insist” that he get hard and he’ll probably respond. I don’t know if it was cold in the bedroom. I came out of the shower and snuggled under the covers with him. I don’t remember if he said he was cold. I don’t remember any conversation about coming out from under the blankets. I just assumed he wasn’t interested because he didn’t even seem to be attempting to get hard. I don’t remember any purring from him. Work must really be frying my brain.

Tonight I’ll turn off work at five and pay more attention to Lion. Unless he verbalizes that he’s not in the mood, I’ll do my best to get him hard and to the edge. I think we’re at day 17. He should be coming up on orgasm time, but he can’t have one until I edge him for a day or so. And he can’t get to the edge until I figure out what the hell I’m doing.

Lion got my new computer all set up. I’m using the same keyboard and mouse though, so all typos will be the same. I have two monitors at work and it was a little difficult working from home with only one monitor. Now I have the same setup, although Lion tells me I have things backwards. He likes the left screen to have X whereas I have Y. That’s the good thing about him having his computer and me having my computer. We can set them up however we want.

We weren’t as full after last night’s dinner. We had leftover turkey and fixings, and I swear we had the same amount of food on our plates, but we managed to do a bit more than roll into bed. Lion said he was frisky but he didn’t want to come out from under the covers. Once I got him out, he said he wasn’t sure how far he’d get. I don’t normally care how far he gets. I mean, I want to get him to the edge, but as long as it feels good, it’s fine. The thing I wonder about last night is, did he just want to snuggle? And, if so, why not say that? I don’t think I’ve ever put any real pressure on him to perform. I may tease him a bit, but it’s just me being silly.

For example, sometimes I snap my fingers at his penis and say, “Up, boy. You can do it.” I don’t have any expectation that he’ll get hard. I always do this in the very beginning before I’ve even tried to get him hard. It’s not done as a jab to his not being able to get hard at any point. He may tell me how mean I am when I spank him, but I’m not really mean to him. I’m actually very nice to him and I think he’ll agree. [Lion — I do agree.]

My point in bringing this up is that, even though we talk about fitting together like hand and glove and being close, we still have room for improvement. First and foremost, we need to communicate better. We do a pretty good job, but we can always do better. Maybe that can be our shared New Year’s resolution.

This morning, I was working on one project and Lion was working on another. He called me over to ask me something, I answered and walked away. I heard him say something along the lines of “you’re never around when I want you.” I growled that I was trying to do something and he’s not the only person in the house. However… he was talking to the dog. My first renewed foray into growling at him and he was talking to the dog. Yeah. That sounds about right.

Apparently I need to count to ten before I growl. I’ve growled at Lion before, both in the moment and after a little while. Neither one feels particularly comfortable to me yet. And I have to figure out how to come back to the subject down the road without giving him the dreaded “we have to talk”. My daughter is studying to be a psychologist (she jokes it’s to diagnose the family) and she’s learned that the “when you do X, it makes me feel Y” used on so many TV sitcoms is real. It’s much better than “you always/never do X”. Lion is very sensitive to criticism. Generally, he’ll say he’s a horrible person for doing whatever I’ve pointed out. Maybe it depends on how I approach it. I don’t believe I bare my teeth and jump up and down in front of him accusingly, but maybe that’s what he feels. I’m famous for reading tones into emails and texts that don’t exist.

We were watching “The Good Doctor” the other night and one of the characters was quarantined with his wife because he’s had cancer and going to work would put him at too much risk. He’s able to have meetings online and be involved that way. His wife keeps bursting into the room and asking him questions or running the blender loudly while he’s in meetings. Then she goes out without realizing that if she’s exposed to the virus, she can expose him. She’s basically driving him crazy and he yells at her. It was interesting to watch the TV show with a couple go through that in a non-sitcom setting.

It wasn’t meant to be funny. It was actually showing what some people are dealing with being stuck home together during the quarantine. By the end of the episode, of course, they’ve solved their problems. And we both realized how lucky we are that we don’t have that problem.

Lion is very considerate when I’m working from home, as I am when he works from home. He asks if the TV will bother me. I don’t usually make a lot of noise anyway, but I’m used to having music on and people on the phone or talking loudly around me. The only issue I have when I work from home is that the damn dog needs to go out all the time and I’m the only one who can let her out. Lion can try, but she usually won’t go out for him if I’m home. Silly dog.

Now that I’m following Lion’s suggestion of growling rather than spanking (I know he said I can do either, but I like the growling better. Baby steps.), I have to work on how I’m going to accomplish it. If this morning is any indication, I think I’m willing to do it. I just have to make sure he’s talking to me and not the dog when I growl.