thumb fits under chastity device base ring
You can see how I can get my thumb between my base ring and my body. Click the image for a clear view.

(Thursday, September 25, 2014) It’s been about five days since I cashed in my orgasm reward and there is another six days until my scheduled release on September 30. At this moment I am not feeling terribly horny. However, since tonight is a tease (or other activity) night, I may be singing a different song tomorrow.

There are times that wearing a cage is just a pain. This morning I went to pee at work and since there was another man at the urinal next to mine, I didn’t get to check to make sure I was correctly aligned inside my cage. Lately, I have been very well centered in the opening. I wasn’t this morning and ended up spraying my pants and the floor. I really hate moments like this. This hasn’t happened in several months and I thought I was over this problem after I got the shorter cage. I should be grateful I didn’t eat asparagus recently.

I’ve noticed during showers that my base ring isn’t as tight as it should be. The rule of thumb is that if you can insert more than one finger to the first joint between the base ring and your body, the base ring is too large. I can get more than that between my ring and body. The thing is that my current ring is not so big a ball can escape and I have never tried to pull my penis out from behind the ring. Even so, I have been obsessing over this ring size question for a while now.

The reason I decided to write about it is that this question about ring size is really an indirect question about chastity device security. I know I will never try to pull out. I’m in this because I asked for it (like every other caged male), so why would I try to escape?

The more I think about this, the more certain I am that my reason for desiring a cage and one that I can’t escape is that I like the helpless feeling I get from knowing I am stuck. I feel the same way about those cheap, velcro restraints. If I can untie myself, I can’t consider myself tied up. Don’t worry Mrs. Lion, the restraints you gave me on Valentine’s day are not escapable. I tried when you used them on me.

I know that every chastity device that depends on a cock and ball ring is escapable. Even a device with anti-pullout pins and a very tight base ring can be escaped with enough lube and effort. The fact that I know this makes my concern with my base ring even sillier. I do know that a smaller base ring would make pullout more difficult but not impossible. Since I have no desire to escape, why should I care if my device is a little bit less secure than it could be? I shouldn’t. It’s irrational to want to make that change. As Mrs. Lion has pointed out many times here, I am not the most rational critter in the jungle.

In a more general sense, a lot of males seek to get “secure” chastity devices. As soon as they discover there is a vulnerability, they go into action and try to plug the hole. There is a problem with this approach. The main one, aside from cost, is that the more secure the device, the less comfortable it will be. I think I can tolerate a base ring 1/8″ smaller than the one I have. But there is a good chance that the smaller ring will also chafe a bit and make full-time wearing less comfortable.

This is where I need to be a grown-up and not the toddler Mrs. Lion writes about. As long as my balls can’t escape on their own, I should be fine with my current ring. I have no discomfort and can’t get hard or otherwise get sexual pleasure while locked up. Even in my most desperate moments I have had no desire to escape and sneak a wank. So, Mrs.Lion, please note that your Lion is acting like an adult and is not going to order a smaller ring. I do want to get a smaller one, just because, but I won’t — at least for now.

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Today marks my ninth month in enforced chastity. If the widget in the right column doesn’t agree, it’s because the date calculation it uses is approximate. Since the ninth month is the end of human gestation, I thought it might be helpful to update you on progress and learning to date.

Ruined Orgasms
I’ve been trying to understand the effect that a ruined orgasm has on my level of desire. Mrs. Lion gave me an accidental one on Sunday night. I think I see a pattern emerging. Immediately after a ruined orgasm I feel frustrated but not interested in more sex. The next day I am horny again. The day after that, not so horny. I was careful to note how I felt after my last complete orgasm. The pattern is the same. So, even though I don’t get particular satisfaction from a ruined orgasm, I do get the same effects on my level of interest in getting off. So, contrary to popular reporting, at least for me, a ruined orgasm has exactly the same result as a full one, just without the pleasure a full one provides. So, in terms of effect on my increasing desire, a ruined orgasm and a bonus full one are the same.

Daily Living
Initially, I had a Chinese, stainless-steel cage. It was reasonably comfortable, but after a week or so of continuous wear, I did get irritated and red around the base ring. A day off was enough to cure it. In March, my Jail Bird arrived. From the start, this device has been comfortable to the point that I can forget it is on. Nighttime erections don’t wake me and the cage remains comfortable.

There was one problem that became increasingly annoying over time: peeing. My original JB cage was 1 3/4 inches long. The head of my penis was frequently a half inch or so from the end of the cage. As a result, peeing was a chancy activity. I could spray in any direction, and a couple of times, ended up wetting my pants. The only way to avoid this was to sit to urinate. At home this was no problem, but at work or at public events, it was an annoying inconvenience. After consulting with Mistress MM of Mature Metal, I had the cage shortened 1/2 inch to 1 1/4-inches. This modification puts the head of my penis in firm contact with the end of the cage. My urethra is generally centered in the square opening in the front of the cage. Peeing in a urinal is no problem. Peeing at home still has challenges. Unless the urethra is dead center in that opening, there can be some spray or the stream can go off to one side. Most of the time at home I pee sitting down to avoid the mess.

Another area that has been a problem for me long before I was caged, is underwear comfort. I am almost always in jeans. For some reason, when I sit a long time, like on a car trip, at the office, or flying long distances, my underwear would generally end up applying painful, pinching pressure to my balls. Over the years I have tried different brands and styles of briefs (I don’t like boxers and have tried boxer-briefs with the same issue). My cage made the problem worse. I had been wearing synthetic briefs that were, for the most part, comfortable, but would still bind and pinch. I was miserable with these after being caged. For the last seven months I had been wearing incontinence briefs. I wrote about them in my post yesterday. I’ve replaced them with a radically-different, Australian design. So far I love the change. No binding or adjusting at all. We’ll see over time if I have solved that problem.

Sex, desire, and waiting
Going into our chastity adventure, neither of us had any idea what made sense in terms of time between orgasms (waiting). Mrs. Lion has tried different intervals from one day to the current twenty-one days. I’ve done much soul searching to try to understand what I want. Mrs. Lion has been taking my cues.

In the beginning, I was certain that I didn’t want to wait more than a few days. I felt that my time on earth is limited and I didn’t want to take away something that I enjoy so much. I also had no interest in “testing” myself. After all, what sort of test is it? I can’t get myself off while caged, so will power is not involved. Now, nine months later I have a clearer idea of what may work.

In terms of my level of desire, it’s clear that one week is too short. I seem to start peaking at around ten days. Since I am on my longest wait now, I am not sure what is too long. Also, my ruined orgasm Sunday, effectively cut five days off the current 21-day waiting time. My longest wait has been fourteen days, three of which I was too sick to care at all about sex. Before that, it was ten days without an orgasm or ruined orgasm. I can say that I was tree-humping horny and desperate on the tenth day.

When I think about it, I have very mixed feelings. I hate the idea of having only 12 orgasms a year, like some caged males. I think that 52 a year is a rather big number. So now, nine months later, I still have no idea what makes sense for us. Good thing it isn’t up to me. Whatever Mrs. Lion picks will be the right number.

Mrs. Lion’s libido isn’t as strong as mine.  When we started last January, Mrs. Lion hadn’t had very much sex in years. She just wasn’t that interested. One very positive outcome of my enforced chastity is that Mrs. Lion’s libido is slowly returning. In the nine months of my lockup, she has had more orgasms than in the last five years or more. One strong argument in favor of making my lockup permanent is its ability to keep sex in the front of both of our minds.

(Continued tomorrow. Read about teasing, discipline, and other kinks)

The other day Lion said maybe his cock ring was too big. How is that possible? It’s metal. It didn’t get any bigger and he certainly hasn’t gotten smaller. He said he figures it needs to be an eighth of an inch smaller. Now an eighth of an inch is not that much. Does it really need to be smaller? Can’t he live with it? I’m thinking back to when we had the cage itself shortened. Once he got it back he thought it was too short. Finally he decided it was correct.

Last night he said he could no longer pee standing up. He wasn’t centered in the cage even though I had made sure he was centered when I put it on him Friday night. And he made it all day Saturday without issue. Suddenly it was not centered. How is that possible? Did his cock suddenly gain the ability to wiggle itself off center? I removed the screw and repositioned him to be centered. This morning he was peeing sitting down again. What the heck?

To fix the ring is a small fee and Lion has suggested getting a second one made. I assume that means having a smaller one made so we would have the original size and one that is an eighth of an inch smaller. But it would also mean not having the Jail Bird while the ring is done. Back to the Chinese cage. My first thought with the Chinese cage is that I hate putting it on him so much that I will just refuse to take it off him. This means an extended wait for him which would be fine if I could just leave him in it. But he needs to be teased every few days. Obviously the cage has to come off to accomplish that so I still have to fumble with locking him back up.

Part of me knows that Lion is never 100% satisfied. I don’t think the cage and ring will ever be perfect for him. I’m not sure why that is but it happens in the rest of our lives too. He can be happy with the way something turned out but next time he just knows he can do it better. Another part of me knows that Lion was at day five and that far into the wait time is when Grumbly Lion comes out. So is the ring really too big or is it just a reason to grumble? Is he really off center or is he looking for something to grumble about? I don’t know. It could be purely coincidental. We were both very sleep deprived and his allergies were very bad. Either one of those could cause grumbles.

I do know I need to do some manscaping today and he’ll definitely be getting attention above and beyond the shaver. I’m hoping that cures some of the grumbling.

grilled steak
A beautiful grilled steak has marks where the hot grill contacted the meat. It’s a sign of a delicious meal ahead. My grill marks are imprinted by the bars of my cage. Click this image for a color view of mine.

A beautiful, charcoal-broiled steak features grill marks where the hot grill add extra browning to the meat. In similar fashion, the pressure of the cage against the head of my penis leaves its own grill marks on me. This used to happen as a result of getting a chubby inside my too-large cage. Since I am guaranteed to get at least one every day as part of my male systems exercising at night, I always had grill marks when Mrs. Lion freed me. Now, with the smaller cage, the marks are more pronounced and don’t depend on a chubby to make them. While very visible, these marks are not painful at all and are not harmful. A reasonable time out of the cage, especially if I am allowed to get hard will make them fade and eventually disappear. At first these marks disturbed me since they didn’t go away immediately. But I have learned that they are harmless and are, in fact, a badge that I was caged. So, like a fine steak, my weenie has the mark of a great chef, Mrs. Lion.

I always get a smile out of reading “reviews” of chastity devices by males who have been locked up all of an hour or two. Some even write reviews without putting it on. Any of us who have been caged for more than a week or two have learned that being in forced chastity requires some changes in our day-to-day lives.

The most significant for me turned out to be underpants. For years I wore Ex Officio briefs. I love these. They are made of a breathable, synthetic blend that wicks moisture away from the body, never smells, and can be hand washed and air dried overnight. Once caged, I discovered that these briefs offered no visual protection for my cage and the rather slippery nature of the fabric allowed them to bind up uncomfortably around my balls. I had noticed this problem before. Once on a long flight to Europe, they made me miserable in the sticky airline seat. I immediately felt the problem with my cage.

I also worried that the cage might cause drips after peeing to get to my outer pants and make an embarrassing wet spot. I realized that I need both absorbancy and padding. After a lot of research I found Wearever Mens Incontenence Briefs. If you ignore the word “incontinence” you will find that these look like ordinary cotton underpants. They are very comfortable and the padding (absorbent layer) provides good camouflage for any cage-shaped bumps that might appear. I really like them. I have worn them in semi-public, at the doctor’s office where that was all I had on. No one noticed. I’ve found that with the cage I actually drip less than when I am wild. Go figure! However, the padding improves the look under clothes and feels very comfortable. The cotton-like fabric doesn’t slip around like my Ex Officio’s, so I am way more comfortable sitting.

Another important change I’ve had to make is with peeing. Before I got the shortened Jail Bird cage, my urethra would end up anywhere but where it needed to be for me to have a nice, clean stream. As a result, I ended up soaking my pants a couple of times at work and had to go home to change. After this happened a couple of times I realized I had to pee sitting down. I had no idea this would involve a learning curve, but in fact, in the beginning I couldn’t manage to fully empty my bladder. After a few days my body learned to pee sitting and I was back to normal.

I really sympathize with women. Having to sit on a toilet in a public bathroom is an adventure at best and disgusting most of the time. I actually cut down on drinking water and other beverages to avoid those public bathroom trips. My shortened cage has solved this problem. I can now pee standing up. Of course, it isn’t as simple as it is when I am wild. I have to take my cock and balls out since the Jail Bird presses my penis down against my balls. I have to aim the entire package and pull my balls back to avoid soaking them. It took a bit of practice, but now I have no trouble at all.

The other adjustment I needed to make was managing my balls. That may sound silly, but the base ring of my cage keeps my balls front and center. When I am wild, they are able to move into the background and stay out of the way. The base ring forces them forward, directly under my penis. I have to “adjust” myself more now to assure that I don’t end up sitting on them or otherwise pinching or hurting myself. Sound horrible? It’s not. Just one more thing to learn.

My point is that being caged isn’t as simple as buying a device, putting it on, and giving the key away. Guys that imagine this is the case will get ugly surprises as the challenges of being caged surface. A lot of the stuff I like has to do with me surrendering control and getting disciplined, teased, and played with. I didn’t imagine I would need new underpants, had to learn to pee again, keep my balls out of the way, and deal with those grill marks. Now that it is nearly six months of full time forced chastity, I think most of the adjustments are behind me and I can just enjoy the ride.