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In: Blogging

Blogging is one of the more interesting developments of the World Wide Web. Anyone with access to a computer and the Internet can publish a blog about anything at all. In some ways, it’s one step up from Facebook. Getting started is as simple as navigating to WordPress.com or Blogger.com. From there, it’s only a few clicks to becoming an online publisher. Of course, there are more technically-involving ways to blog. Our blog, for example, is independently hosted and managed by me.

The anonymity of the Internet affords a great deal of freedom to express things that would otherwise be very private. Certainly, Mrs. Lion and I would be uncomfortable sharing the intimate details of our relationship if we could be identified. For a while, I worried that we were being a little dishonest by hiding our true identities. I don’t think we are.

There is simply too much risk associated with allowing people we work with too much information about our private lives. That means people, in general, don’t really have the opportunity to share and question intimate aspects of their lives. Before the Internet, the only way to get any concrete knowledge about spanking, for example, would be to seek out and join an organization of like-minded people.

This was fairly easy to do in a big city. I lived in New York and on the back page of the “Village Voice,” an alternative newspaper, it was possible to find ads for such things as BDSM organizations. These organizations met in small, off-off-Broadway theaters and other semi-public spaces. Anonymity was treasured and people were careful not to recognize each other in public.

I joined one of these organizations and learned a lot and had a great time at parties and other events. I became proficient in many of the skills needed in BDSM and shared my knowledge at various workshops. I met like-minded people who were happy to play with me. The largest of these organizations had about a thousand members. Clearly, they weren’t going to be generally useful to people outside these major cities.

Lots of people have fantasies they would like to turn into reality. Short of joining one of these organizations, there was really no good way to do this. With the advent of the World Wide Web and Google, it was easy to just type in whatever interest you had, no matter how kinky, and discover sources of information. This was the birth of the blogosphere. Prior to this, information was available via various text-based systems. You needed a certain amount of technical knowledge to access them. I enjoyed a great deal of sharing on several of these.

Fast-forward to today. You can find blogs on absolutely any subject imaginable. They are sourced in every language on earth. The only problem with them is that there is absolutely no way to know if what they talk about is accurate. Sexually-oriented blogs tend to be expressions of their owners’ fantasies. They are often presented as fact, but really are just fiction and wishful thinking. Many of them feed off of one another. They quote each other and bolster their fantasies by writing a sort of Gestalt super-blog.

It’s interesting for me to try to understand what motivates people to write. Many bloggers are introverts who use their blogs as a way of finding some form of social contact. I think this is true of many sex bloggers. We fit into that category. We decided not to join the local BDSM organization. It had too much of a swinger flavor. We live almost 3000 miles from our homes and haven’t been able to find like-minded friends.

I am more of an extrovert than Mrs. Lion. I miss the people I had come to know who enjoyed similar things. I was very lucky to have found Mrs. Lion. When we first went out, she was a vanilla woman. She always had a very open mind and a willingness to discover new things. I stretched that to the limit. Over time I completely corrupted her. I think she’s happier since I did.

As far as I can tell, I am her only source for kinky knowledge. I don’t think she reads any of the other domestic discipline or male chastity websites. She likes her social media and her friends there are strictly vanilla folks. I wonder if her unwillingness to join the online conversation about our kink is an indication that maybe she doesn’t particularly like it. I’ve always worried that she participates because she knows it’s something I want. That makes me feel a little like I’m exploiting her.

From what I can determine reading other bloggers, it’s not unusual for the female, dominant partner to eschew reading online material about kink.  It doesn’t seem reasonable to imagine that all of the disciplinary wives are being exploited by their spank-seeking husbands. The reason could be simpler.

The simple fact is that it’s the men who ask for disciplinary or chastity activity. Because sex underlies a lot of this, the guys are driven to look for more exciting things to do as time goes by. Their partners, on the other hand, are probably more interested in evolving their disciplinary relationships with a view toward providing their partners with the boundaries they need. They aren’t driven by the sexual desire for more and more.

If you are wondering how all this ties together, I think in our case blogging moved from a simple desire to share into an opportunity for us to have a dialogue that supports our disciplinary and male chastity activities. One blogger recently wrote that he thought blogs that talked about the interest of the owner of the blog, died because the owner ran out of things to talk about. I think that’s true. Most blogs don’t last more than a few years at most.

The ones that keep going seem to be about the lives of their owners. Mrs. Lion and I don’t feel any pressure to come up with new ideas to titillate our readers. We’re satisfied sharing our lives and the trials and tribulations of integrating our kinks into a happy marriage. As it turns out, because each of us writes almost daily, the blog becomes an important communication channel for us. I think we are unique in this respect. Maybe this isn’t a blog at all. Perhaps it’s a sitcom, “Life With The Lions.” I hope we keep getting good ratings.

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In: Blogging, Health and safety, Lion's Journal

Maybe I should only post when I am horny or in trouble. After all, I am a sex blogger who also practices domestic discipline. What do I have to say when I don’t want sex and I’m not getting spanked? Would the blog be more popular if I reduced my output this way?

That’s a serious question. My life isn’t all that interesting right now. A couple of years ago I learned I had cervical spinal stenosis. Disks in my neck were constricting my spine. One small “whiplash” incident could make me a quadriplegic. I was rushed into surgery to fix it.

beware of Jean-Christophe A. Leveque, MD

The surgeon refused to tell us about the recovery from this operation. Because opening up the spinal canal would allow a sudden flow of spinal fluid, my spinal cord would be shocked, much the way it feels when a clothespin is removed from a sensitive spot. It hurts more coming off than it does going on.

This sudden flow created problems for me. My balance was impaired. Right after the surgery, I could hardly move. I couldn’t even pee. I needed a catheter. I could only stand with help. It took a long time for me to learn to get around with a walker. Mrs. Lion and I had no idea this would happen.

The surgeon is a lying bastard. Despite direct questions from both of us, he covered up the seriousness of the surgery. He works at Virginia Mason Hospital in Seattle. His last name is Leveque (Go ahead and try to sue me, you fuck!) If you are referred to him, run like a thief.

Now, two years later, I’m still impaired. Walking can be difficult for me. My balance is better, but not perfect. Literally, at the same time, I developed Glaucoma. Before it was under control I lost most of my peripheral vision. I haven’t tried driving since this happened.

None of this is intended to garner your sympathy. I have no need for that. It’s just to let you know that my ability to experience the world has constricted substantially. Fortunately, most of me works quite well.

Mrs. Lion and I have adapted and our male chastity and domestic discipline have continued unabated. We share our adventures with you. Every single sexual experience since February 2014 has been faithfully reported here. A sex researcher could have a field day with our blog.

Four sexless days

Yesterday is the fourth day since my last orgasm. Even though Mrs. Lion asks me if I am “interested in anything” every day, I have politely demurred. This isn’t deprivation, just lack of interest. I’ve been following my rules and doing my chores, so no spankings either.

Even if I made a slip, I’m not sure Mrs. Lion would punish me. My mood is too dark. I rarely remember my dreams. In the last few days, I’ve had a couple that I haven’t forgotten. Both had me doing “normal” things.

In one, I was driving through the countryside on a two-lane road. My vision was perfect and I loved driving. In my dream, I was surprised that I wasn’t on a road-racing track. I loved my times on the track. The other had me walking with Mrs. Lion through the geyser fields at Yellowstone National Park. We had done that about a decade ago.

Both dreams were rated “G”. I think they underline the contrast between my life just a couple of years ago and now. No wonder I’m sad. I decided to share this because it might give you some perspective on why, after nearly 5,000 posts, I’m having second thoughts. I know my interest in sex will return. My vision won’t.

Once I’m horny again, I will probably try to push aside the sadness in favor of our tried-and-true fun. It gets harder to push aside. Maybe I shouldn’t write until I succeed.

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In: Blogging, Lion's Journal

A recent post by Drew (Drew Duality) struck a chord with me. He wrote about a blogger who became a friend. There was just one problem: he only knew this man by his online name and contact information. Drew’s friend suddenly dropped off the Net. He didn’t respond to messages. Is he alive? Did he get hit by the coronavirus? There was no way to find out.

I have been thinking about this sort of thing for a while. What if something happens to Mrs. Lion and me? None of the people who know us here would have any way of discovering the issue. Did our Internet provider cut us off? Are we sick or worse? If I am the one struck down, will Mrs. Lion be able to manage the blog? I do all the technical stuff now. Will she even think about it? I suppose the same is true if something happened to her. I’m not sure I would be capable of letting you know.

it’s just the Internet

It’s too easy to simply decide that the Internet isn’t real and anybody who knows us there even considers us real people. To a large extent that’s probably true. Most of our readers don’t engage with us as people. We are a source of information and entertainment. If we go away, there are other blogs to read. Some of our readers have made us part of their lives. We love that. I think we owe them a way to know what happened if we suddenly disappear.

Mrs. Lion and I aren’t very social lions. She has some friends from work and prior jobs. I tend to lose contact with people. I was trying to come up with three references in case I find a new job. I’m having trouble doing it. That realization and Drew’s post is a wakeup call for me.

Drew’s solution is to provide social media contact information to people who know his real name and situation. That’s a great thought. My only social media outlet is Twitter (@TheCagedLion). I don’t trust Facebook. I don’t really communicate with folks on Twitter. I should. I have become way too isolated.

My original thought about letting people know if my world ends was to write a postdated post (future publication date). The idea being that I could keep changing the publication date. If anything happened to me/us, eventually the post would publish. It could give real names and other data so that people who cared would be able to figure out what happened to us.

I like Drew’s idea better. All I have to do is find a couple of bloggers who would be willing to become real-life friends. I hope I can do that. I also think I can keep the friendships alive and not withdraw into my comfortable isolation. I don’t think we are antisocial. We are both shy when it comes to people we don’t know well. It’s time that I get over this. I care about you. While our relationship may be one-way, it’s still real. I would like to think that you might want to know what happened if one dark night we are abducted by Republicans.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Blogging

Since this is our 4000th post I guess I can do some reminiscing.  I never thought we’d still be at it this long. As I remember, I didn’t even know about the blog in the beginning. I think Lion got a comment that needed a woman’s touch so that’s when he invited me to post. 

[Lion — Actually, I started the blog with a female writer who turned out to be not what we needed. I asked Mrs. Lion if she would take over. I was very happy when she agreed. This would make our blog able to show both sides of our power exchange.]

As with most things, over the past few years, it’s become second nature to write a post. Sometimes I have nothing to say. I tend to do the play by play about our play. Lion did this. I did that. I should have done this. I forgot to do that. Sometimes my play by play is just venting about things that went wrong. It’s not always fair to Lion. When he writes something that he thinks might cast me in an unfavorable light he offers not to publish it. I always tell him if it’s how he feels, he should. Whether it makes me feel bad or not, it might help someone else dealing with a similar issue.

I wonder if our sex life has continued and developed the way it has because of the blog. Or, it’s possible the blog has continued because of the way our sex life has developed. In either case, they seem intertwined.

We have gone far beyond male chastity. Whether Lion is caged or not, we still practice enforced chastity. We’ve just branched out into other areas as well. If nothing else, it keeps our readers on their toes. Who knows what we’ll come up with next? That’s a question I ask myself too! What will Lion come up with next? He’s very fond of searching the web for new things.

Six years ago was the last time Lion jerked off. He isn’t allowed to ever do it again.

When Lion approached me with the idea of enforced male chastity, I really thought it was something that would last a week or two. Things we’ve tried in the past, and some even since then, tend to have short lifespans. Once I realized how neglected Lion felt, I knew we had to keep going. Even when I no longer cared about sex for myself, I still wanted to continue. Male chastity definitely brought us closer together.

If enforced male chastity doesn’t float your boat, it could be any type of play to jump-start your sex life. Lion could easily have started with rules and punishment. Anything that opens the lines of communication can work. However, I think it was the finality of locking the chastity device on him that did it for us. I would have (and do) forgotten to catch him breaking rules. If I did catch him, I would have (and do) forgotten to punish him. After a while, it would have fallen by the wayside.

Having something tangible locked on his cock meant that I had to do something. I needed to act. He was dependent on me to free him at least every other day. Of course, freeing him didn’t mean he’d get any relief. I might just tease him, slap the cage back on and go about my merry business. That’s all part of the game.

The blog has become a means of communication between Lion and me. Sometimes there are things that are just more easily written than said face to face. We are, by no means, the king and queen of communication. We have many, many misunderstandings. However, I really think we communicate better through our posts. Of course, the written word does not capture nuances. Some misunderstandings come from the inability to hear sarcasm or other tones. When that happens, we have our daily emails to help when we’re at work and, obviously, actually talking when we’re home.

In the beginning, I threw Lion a few curves. First, I asked him to masturbate for me. I wanted to see how he turned himself on. It was also sort of a good-bye for him. He’d no longer be able to make himself come. I was taking away his favorite toy. The second curve was when I gave him an orgasm every night for a while. Several years earlier, he got sex every night and every night ended in an orgasm, as it should have in the “normal” world. Was I making up for all those orgasms he’d missed while I ignored him? I prefer to think of it as following orders. Lion said I had the power to give him an orgasm any time I wanted. Well, I wanted to do it every night. Problem? Eventually, Lion had had too much of a good thing. He said he couldn’t go on any longer. It may have been the first time I told him to be careful what he wished for.

On the flip side, he once had a 28 day wait for an orgasm. Some chaste males see it as a badge of honor to be made to wait extremely long times between orgasms. Neither Lion nor I care too much about long waits. I don’t think I’ll ever make him wait that long again. At a certain point, he loses interest in sex. It becomes almost impossible to arouse him. The bigger problem (because I’m the boss, that’s why) is that I love making Lion come. Making him wait makes me wait. We can’t have that!

Now the longest I make him wait is about ten days. Right now I think he’s been waiting longer but that’s because I’ve been playing with him differently. [Lion — Today is the tenth day] I don’t make it my life’s work to get him to the edge. If he can get there before I get tired then he gets his orgasm. If not, we try again the next night or the one after that. I’m not sure how long I’ll do this. It may just depend on when I want to take an orgasm from him. If I want the cream filling then I’m going to get the cream filling. Dammit!

The one thing I’m sure about is that we’re happier since we started enforced male chastity and all the rest that’s followed. I hope the blog reveals that. We’ll continue sharing our weirdness as long as you’ll have us. Thank you for following our journey!