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In: Spanking games, BDSM, Mrs Lion Comments

I really didn’t remember telling Lion he’d gets swats for football points. I swear I said he’d get zapped. That’s why was only going to do one per score. Seven zaps seemed excessive. I had to go back through my posts to check. Sure enough, I’d said swats. Lion said he didn’t hear what I said in my mind. Silly.

In hindsight, it does make more sense to receive zaps and swats. Penalties and points are two different things. They should receive different modes of attention. Lion was smart not to read my mind.

If it was totally dependent on the Giants score, Lion’s butt would probably be very safe tonight. In short, they stink. They seem to be picking right up from where they left off last season. That’s why I decided to go with both teams’ scores.

I have an idea of the paddle I’ll use. It’s the one with the tenderizer side. I won’t use that side. We use it for play and, after all, isn’t that what this is? It will also save my hand from the misery that is potentially a high-scoring game even if it’s not the Giants scoring the points.

As always, we have no idea how this is going to work. It may not work at all. It may work, but not in this configuration. We may have to tweak it a lot. Poor Lion. Sometimes he’s a lab rat.

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In: BDSM, Lion's Journal
lion's spanked bottom
My bottom after a fairly strong play spanking. Am I really asking for more?

Our energy has been pretty low lately. I’m not sure why, but both Mrs. Lion and I find ourselves sleep-deprived and tired every night. It’s true that neither of us has been sleeping very well. Mrs. Lion is going to try a CPAP machine. I find myself falling asleep in front of the TV for a half hour or so. That spoils getting to sleep easily later in the evening.

This sleeplessness makes any play feel like too much work. Inactivity becomes a habit. Essentially, we have to start doing things. I’m pretty sure it isn’t that we need to find all new activities. Let’s face it, sooner or later we will run out if we try. Mrs. Lion wrote about this yesterday. There are books with ideas on what to do. Even if we do everything in SM101, The Topping Book, and The Bottoming Book, which are all in our library, we will still run out sooner or later.

I don’t think that variety is the issue, at least for me. I miss the anticipation and the buildup of suspense as I imagine what will be happening to me. Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, seems to be getting bored with the limited set of things she does to me. I get it. Some call it top drop. Maybe she needs to hit the reference section of our library to find new ways to torture me.

spanked with erection
I may not be hard when spanked, but thinking about it does this to me.

It’s probably not that simple. The root of BDSM is sex. It’s supposed to be arousing to do this stuff. It is for me, but not for Mrs. Lion. I’m motivated to accept what would otherwise be unpleasant sensations by the fact I’m sexually aroused by submitting to them. On the other side of the coin, as a top, I was turned on by spanking a cute butt, putting clothespins on breasts, etc. It was work, but it got my motor running.

Mrs. Lion doesn’t get sexually aroused anymore. So, there is no pussy-wetting reward for turning my butt bright red. I can’t repay her for her attention with my tongue. Circumstances remove sex as a motivational aid for my lioness. What will?

I’ve been trying to figure that out for years. I know she likes challenging games on her iPad. She solves word problems, directs digital pool balls, breaks walls with streams of tiny balls. She never grows tired of these games. They all have one thing in common: She has to work to overcome challenges to get to the next level. There is always a next level.

One reason I suggested she try a pegging project. There are several challenges. It requires me to learn to accept larger and thicker dildos…the challenge. Once I accept a size, I have to learn to manage movement. This isn’t easy for me. It takes time and effort. There are setbacks. She has to overcome my resistance to the pain I have to accept. Like her games, she can note progress. It’s measurable and easy to see.

shock collar under my balls
Collar in place under my balls. Just touching a button on her phone delivers a painful jolt.

The drawback is that it is physical work. All of our BDSM is physical. The lowest energy activity we have involves the shock collar. Games with it only require her to touch a button on her phone. The effects are very real and physical for me.

My point is that if she wants to continue with our BDSM play, she needs to discover some kind of payoff. Doing something because she knows I want it only lasts so long. We may be close to that point now.

I think there are real benefits for Mrs. Lion. They aren’t “fun” benefits, but I think they are beneficial. The first is that if she undertakes a progressive challenge, like pegging, she has to follow through over a long period of time. Rain or shine, tired or perky, the activities happen on schedule. That doesn’t mean every single day, but it does mean regularly.

If she wants more exercise and make things tougher on me, she can resume “maintenance” spankings on punishment nights. Every Monday and Thursday night she can see how far she can go with a spanking. Again, the results are visible and she can measure her progress. She tops the first level when she produces tears. That isn’t easy. From there, she can see how quickly she can get me to that point.

As a matter of fact, tears aren’t necessarily crying. They are a natural reaction to a spanking when it reaches a point of pain. The tears are cathartic and healthy for me. We both win if she gets me there. An added benefit is that it is tough for me as it is for her. A sore and/or stretched butt isn’t a roller coaster ride for me. But, it is interesting and exciting.

Of course, she doesn’t have to adopt either idea. My suggestion is that she finds things that allow her to progress and see her progress. That may make old things new again.

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In: BDSM, Mrs Lion Comments

Our guest departed late this morning. We have the house all to ourselves again. It’s amazing how much your freedom is taken away by having a house guest. I suppose if we had kids living with us it wouldn’t be as drastic, but since we’re empty nesters it’s a big change.

Last night Lion was aroused but said he seemed to hit a point of no return and couldn’t go on. He said he didn’t know what was going on. I think it was the effect of having someone in the room across the hall, and the fact that we haven’t been playing. Assuming we can both hold off our tiredness, I’ll pull out the Box O’Fun and see what kind of trouble Lion gets himself into. He’s been on his best behavior so he hasn’t accrued any punishment – at least so far.

I need to step up my game. Lion’s eyes seem to be getting better. If he feels better, he’ll want to play more. If he wants to play more, I need to get less boring. It looks like the Box O’Fun might be getting a workout. Of course, I can always just do my own fun. I don’t always need the box for ideas. Those ideas came from me to begin with.

I haven’t heard anything about Lion writing a post for tomorrow. He’ll probably say that he has nothing to talk about since we haven’t played. Maybe he’ll have something exciting to write about later. For now, we’re just happy to be getting back to normal.

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In: BDSM, Lion's Journal
Mrs. Lion’s most feared play. Wow, do they hurt!

There may be more to Mrs. Lion’s recent gentle approach and her loss of interest in playing. I’ve had a setback that appears to be caused by a change in a product I use. I wear contact lenses. I have for about a decade. My vision is pretty good, but the surface of my cornea has bumps on it. Apparently, they were caused by childhood eye rubbing. I have allergies and they make my eyes itch. The lenses are the hard variety. They smooth out my cornea and let me see clearly.

About a month ago, I switched from the preservative-free cleaning solution I use, Clear Care to a new version, Clear Care Plus. It is also preservative free but has added something to keep soft lenses softer. That ingredient apparently hurt my eyes. I don’t want to go into details, but one side effect is that I now have glaucoma. I visited my  Optometrist in July and all was normal. I switched to Clear Care Plus in August and in September my eye pressure had tripled. I also had a rash on one cornea and other vision issues.

Naturally, I discontinued the product, but the problems are persisting. This makes it difficult for me to see. That’s one reason I have cut back a bit on my writing. The vision problems tire me out. I fall asleep for “naps” at odd times. I’m going to visit a specialist to see if this vision issue can be resolved. I’m also considering visiting a product liability lawyer.

Of course, Mrs. Lion knows this and is concerned. Her loss of interest in play predates this new problem. I’m sure that my eye problems aren’t  helping her make a comeback.

Regardless, It sounds like 2.0/3.0 is needed here. No, I don’t like really painful activities. Having said that, these activities end up turning me on after the pain recedes. Sometimes, I get and stay hard during this torture. It’s something I need.

There’s another point: As a bottom, I need practice to raise my tolerance to painful play. Just as I need regular anal penetration to comfortably accommodate our anal toys, I need intense stimulation to be able to better tolerate this sort of play.

Take tiny clothespins. These little monsters hurt like hell, especially on the head of my penis. Mrs. Lion knows I fear and hate them. She doesn’t want to hurt me that much. Well, how much she wants to hurt me seems to vary. Lioness 2.0 doesn’t mind hurting me at all. 3.0 is indifferent to my pain.

This is just an example of the play she has come up with that I hate — or maybe love to hate. I never intended for her to avoid doing this because it hurts a lot. Maybe starting out with just one clothespin that spends only 30 seconds on my penis is a way to start. If she sets a goal of a ring of them around the head of my penis, she can gradually build up to it.

The same sort of thing is true of anal play. “Teach” me to accept bigger dildos that fuck me faster, harder, and longer. I don’t know if that appeals to her. But I think that doing things where she can make measurable progress and report it to you, might reignite the S/M flame. It might do it for no other reason than she is doing things that she discovered, not things that I want her to do.