Things are getting more interesting and almost certainly more uncomfortable for me. Mrs. Lion plans on resuming anal activity on a regular basis (“Two Problems to Solve“) and said she would find a way to use restraints to fasten me, spread-eagle, to the bed.

When I’m attached to the bed on my back, it is much easier to apply IcyHot to my balls. I can’t squirm or try to get up and wash it off. I just have to stay on the bed and wait for the burning to stop. Mrs. Lion loves to create a red racing stripe down my balls by applying a wide coating of the hot stuff along the seam of my balls. The same position is also useful for putting those tiny clothespins on the head of my cock. All I can do is complain. I can’t take them off.

We had a sling set up in our old house. It was the ideal way to position me for anal activity. Even though it was set up full time, Mrs. Lion didn’t put me in it more than a couple of times a year. Almost all of our anal play was on the bed. We have a yoga pillow that could support me if staying on my knees proves too difficult. So the bed is certainly a good option for resuming ass stuffing.

I was as much of a barrier to anal play as Mrs. Lion. Most of the time, when she got the lube and a toy, I made an excuse to get out of it. Anal activity is one of those things that are hot to think about and uncomfortable to do. The only way it will work is for my lioness to disregard excuses and dive in. She does that for spanking. This is no different.

I wonder if the spanking bench would be a good platform for anal activity. I could be strapped in the same position as I am for a spanking. That makes my bottom very accessible. If Mrs. Lion sat in her desk chair, she would be at a perfect height to access my ass. If that works, it will solve two problems: The first is that I’m already trained to mount the bench when told. The second is that she can strap me down and avoid any difficulty when things get painful.

Anal play and IcyHot are very similar to spanking because my active cooperation shouldn’t be expected. Yes, I cooperate by getting in position and consenting to the activities. Once they start, my cooperation is no longer needed or expected. Mrs. Lion knows that I won’t like the stretch of my asshole or the pain on my cock and balls. She also knows that it turns me to think about those activities. It’s just like spanking.

Once we begin a BDSM activity, only a safeword should stop it. It’s easy to forget that in the heat of the moment. I know what I am getting into. She knows that I will not have fun while she does those things to me. She also knows that after the pain is gone, I’m turned on thinking about what happened to me.

In a slightly different way, this applies to sex. Once Mrs. Lion starts to edge me, she shouldn’t quit just because I start getting soft or tell her that I’m done. In the past, when she decides to press (jerk?) on, I almost always get hard again and reach the edge. In one-way sex, it’s very exciting to know that I don’t decide when it’s done. Mrs. Lion knows that in terms of stopping before I can ejaculate. I think it’s the same thing when I start losing interest. It’s not my choice. Mrs. Lion is in control.

I don’t really dislike anal play. I know I wrote that I do. I think the problem was, way back when, I said I wanted to be able to fist Lion. We worked toward that for a while and then we stopped doing anal play very often. Any time we picked it up again, Lion jumped right back on the bandwagon of my wanting to fist him. It felt like a lot of pressure to do something I didn’t care about doing anymore. He had no way of knowing I changed my mind. He never really pressured me. He just wanted to move forward with what he thought I still wanted. Once again, miscommunication bit us in the butt.

Of course, the other issue with anal play is that we don’t have our sling up anymore. I’m not even sure Lion could manage to get into it. Having him on his knees is also difficult for him. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable, which is silly given the fact that I’d be shoving something up his ass. He’s bound to feel some discomfort. It’s bad enough I have to have him on his knees for the short amount of time it takes to wax his crack. I’m sure there are other positions that would make anal play possible. [Lion — Pillows under my stomach would get me up high enough, I think.]

Another topic in Lion’s post was restraints. In the past, we were able to leave the ropes attached to the bed. Our old dog left things alone. Actually, I did have to remove the ones from the foot of the bed because they got in the way and the robot vacuum tried to eat them. There’s no way this dog will leave things alone and the vacuum will still try to eat them. I don’t want to say the restraints are more trouble than they’re worth, but it feels that way. Obviously, they aren’t worth much to me personally, but I can make a greater effort because I know how much it means to Lion. I’ll see if there’s a way to keep the ones at the head of the bed out of the way of the vacuum and the prying jaws of the dog. The ones at the foot of the bed are easier to reach whenever we want to use them.

The restraint problem is potentially solved. Now, all we have to do is solve the anal play issue.

I have so many balls in the air right now, I’m just thankful two of them belong to Lion. I got to play with those balls last night while I slid my fingers around in his ass. I figured my fingers were more intimate than a butt plug and I need to start him off slower than shoving a butt plug in. It was a happy coincidence that his balls were hanging down while I was in the neighborhood. I know I’m weird on so many levels, but I like balls. Many women don’t. And those who do tend not to like dangling balls. I love them. It’s one of my favorite views of Lion. I love watching him bend over to pick something up. Yum!

I play with his balls a lot while I masturbate him. I kiss them, squeeze them, tickle them, yank on them, etc. They are a multipurpose toy, really. And they are a pretty good indicator of when he’s getting very close. His balls tend to pull, shrink, for want of a better word, when he’s about to come. I don’t know the mechanics of it all, but it seems reliable. Once they make their ascent and the skin wrinkles up, he’s almost there. I wonder if there’s a similar indication for women.

Last night was the first step in getting things back to normal. I won’t say we’re fixed yet, but we have to start somewhere. I think tonight I’m going to insist on sucking him. It’s not just for his benefit, although I’m sure he’ll enjoy it. I love having him in my mouth. (See above statement about being weird.) I especially love when he gets hard in my mouth. There’s something powerful about taking a lump of soft skin and transforming it into a super-hard piece of man meat.

I hope I can get him super hard tonight. I haven’t been doing a very good job getting him hard lately. He’s not in a particularly horny place in his wait cycle, although last night he said he was very horny after we stopped. I may start out with some more ass play, but I also want to tie his balls up. I don’t know if I’ll separate them or keep them bound together, but I see some rope around his balls in the near future.

Perhaps I’m overthinking it, but I’m not sure how to tie Lion to the bed while I suck on him. Our restraints are based on his being in bed the normal way. When I suck him, he lays across the bed. It may be as simple as just attaching his hands to one side of the bed and his feet to the other. But a bed isn’t necessarily square so it may not work as well as I hope. We may have to experiment. I don’t think Lion will mind experimenting with bondage.

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday (“Try Try Again“), I got a “just because” spanking last night. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn I wasn’t really in the mood. I’m writing this on Tuesday afternoon, and, like you, I learned in her post that she would spank me again tonight. Yuck. My post (“Words and Music“) yesterday morning upset her. I can understand that. I don’t think she realizes how important activities preceding and following the main event can be.

For example, in a BDSM scene, there is usually negotiation before it starts. This includes a discussion of what’s exciting and what isn’t. Aside from the important transfer of information, it’s also a way of building suspense and anticipation. No matter how often something is done, the fanfare is needed to keep the flames of excitement alive. I don’t think Mrs. Lion realizes how important this is. That’s a little odd since women generally complain that men don’t understand how important foreplay is. They say we are “wham bam thank you ma’am” when it comes to sex. Mrs. Lion accused me of this crime when we were making love. It’s a little odd that she doesn’t understand why I find it so important now.

I’m not saying that she should give me a big buildup when she plans to spank me. After all, that’s punishment. I’m not supposed to enjoy it, and if I anticipate it, the emotion should be dread, not heat. Even when it comes to punishment, some couples have established rituals to help them set the scene. If you were spanked as a child, I’m sure there was a ritual associated with the event. It could be as simple as being sent to your room to wait for your fate. Or to remove clothing and assume the position on your bed. Whatever it was, it served to establish a specific mood.

One of the problems with practicing domestic discipline and male chastity for years and years is that events take on a sort of shorthand. The sense of drama disappears. This isn’t a bad thing, but it does eliminate some of the important emotional components. Foreplay isn’t necessarily about getting our sex organs ready to go. It’s about allowing our emotions to shift gears and prepare for sex. I’m not sure what constitutes foreplay when only one person (me) is getting sexually stimulated. I don’t think it’s as simple as snuggling. I’m not sure what it is. It just seems to me that by the time Mrs. Lion is ready to start going for the gold, I should be humping her hand (or mouth).

I have no idea how this should work. I don’t have any real experience to draw upon. Mrs. Lion has to be the initiator. Since I’m the one receiving sensation, it’s up to her to decide how much I get and when I get it. Maybe the answer is buried on one of the porn sites. There is an awful lot of stuff that is 100% about male stimulation. Knowing how I react, chances are pretty good most foreplay will feature my penis. I don’t have an awful lot of secondary sexual areas on my body. You women are very lucky that way. But my penis and balls offer a reasonably interesting playground, I suppose.

Traditionally, women have been led to believe that men are ready to go anytime. Start rubbing his cock, and he’s on the way. That’s probably true to some extent. The chances that this will work diminish as a couple has been together more and more time. After nearly 20 years, it’s unlikely that approach will have a lot of success. Mrs. Lion has the advantage that I like BDSM play. I like to bottom. So, she can do some things other than massaging my penis to get the action started. I know that she plans on stuffing a butt plug into me tonight. I don’t get all tingly when I think about it, but I’m sure it will have a positive sexual effect on me. At least, I hope it will.