Mrs. Lion (Page 331)

It was bound to happen. The stress of moving and things changing finally got to us. We were yelling at each other last night. I’m still pissed. Yes, I harbor resentment at times. It takes a while for me to calm down, especially when we’ve discussed things, made certain decisions, I’ve been told I’m wrong and we supposedly have a plan in place.

I realized, when Lion ate before I did at breakfast, that I don’t care about the rules right now. Spill stuff, don’t spill stuff. Eat first, don’t eat first. Piss me off, don’t piss me off. I won’t say anything. Except for the pissing me off part. That, you can be sure, will get more than just a look. I’m tired of expressing an idea, having it crapped on, and then we wind up going with that idea because Lion thought of it.

I feel like a pinball game being banged on and rocked. It’s time I said, “Tilt!” So I am, once again, suspending the rules until after the move. They can resume once the movers have left the premises. I know there will be conflicts during unpacking. Lion will still say he’s doing everything. I’ll still be running with the clean up crew. But I think those things will be manageable because we’re no longer under the gun to get things from point A to point B. This deadline is killing us.

Whatever punishment Lion is due, which I think is three or four more days [Lion — Actually, it’s seven days.], will be administered after the rules go back into effect. He will not accumulate any more punishment before then. This does not mean he has free range to annoy me. I will be yelling. It’s something I rarely do. I normally push my feelings down but now I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of annoyance.

If Lion is correct, our stress level should go down now that he’s hiring the movers I suggested weeks ago that he just found this morning. Maybe then I’ll calm down a little.

See, Wayne? Nothing at all about making Lion bleed. Now I’m just yelling. Isn’t that a much healthier approach?

[Lion — I was hoping to complete the move more cheaply. The cost of hiring a mover roughly doubles our cost. It just means that we have to take more money out of savings. Given the fact that this project is causing us so much upset, I think it’s a good use of the money. Mrs. Lion, you were right from the beginning.]

Yesterday we had to go on a box run. Despite the fact that we’ve been throwing out tons of stuff, we still have a lot to pack. It’s not like we have our house jammed with stuff. There’s plenty of wasted space. Don’t envision an episode of “Hoarders”. I don’t know how many boxes we have already packed. At some point I have to consolidate so we have room to pack other things.

My friend came over to help yesterday. She dismantled our pantry (which was a mishmash of food, cleaning supplies, paper products and assorted other crap) in two hours. It would have taken me a week to do it. She also ran through the rest of the kitchen and left us with just enough to navigate the next few days. Of course, there’s still plenty to pack.

We took my friend to dinner as a thank-you for helping. By the time we got home I was exhausted. My legs were killing me and it was difficult to keep my eyes open. We took showers and settled in to watch our football team lose. I was asleep by 10:30. Around 11:30 we finally turned the TV off. I thought I slept well, but I’m still tired today. Just another week or so of this nonsense and we’ll get back to normal.

In the meantime, Lion doesn’t understand why I’d let things slide. If he annoys me, I should punish him. I agree. But that takes energy and I haven’t had much lately. It even takes energy to tell him he’s annoying me. Most of what he’s doing is just not considering my feelings. I suggest something and rather than discuss it, he says we’ll do it his way. Or he’ll discount my idea altogether. Considering I’m doing all of the heavy lifting, my thoughts should count for something.

Maybe I’ll feel better tonight since I got some sleep last night. Lion better watch his butt. I’ll make sure I save some energy for punishment.

Yesterday we were supposed to meet an electrician at the new house at 11. We decided to move the camper when we met him. Then he had an emergency so meeting him was moved to late afternoon.

I had to do a lot of running back and forth to get to the point of even hitching the camper. I hate this back and forth and forth and forth nonsense. I was already cranky before we got on the road. Little did I know how much trouble I’d have threading a 33 foot camper between a fence and a hedge. Eventually I got it where we wanted it and then we did what we always do when we go to the house: we played “I think this would fit here better, don’t you?” Basically we used the whole day for moving the camper and meeting the electrician. No packing.

I was exhausted by the time we got home. I wished we had something that could be just thrown in the oven for dinner. No such luck. After I made dinner, I rested while the Tylenol kicked in. I was cold, which is weird for me because I’m usually too hot. That’s the true signal my body was annoyed with me.

I didn’t even think of snuggling. I hurt too much to move. Lion was snoozing on and off anyway. He hasn’t been sleeping well. I might if he could. I’m sure that makes me hurt more. I was too tired to swat Lion. He’s annoyed me more than once but I’m too tired to care.

This morning, I told Lion I plan on sleeping the entire month of October. Not really. I’ll go to work and take him to whatever doctor appointments he has. I’m sure there’ll be lots of unpacking to do, but I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I think I’ve earned some time off. As soon as I get enough unpacked to function, I’m off duty.

As Lion wrote, our troll, Wayne, made a comment that we only think about sex and I only think about hurting Lion. Well Wayne, I spent most of yesterday not thinking about sex or how to hurt Lion. As a matter of fact, I spend most days not thinking about sex or how to hurt Lion. These activities occupy very little of our time. If you’d like, I can do a minute by minute run-through of my thoughts and activities for any given day. I’m sure you’d see how average my life is. Better yet, come help us move.